Author Topic: The Corner Store  (Read 37167 times)

Paragon Avenger

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #80 on: May 21, 2017, 05:32:47 PM »
"Healix!"  Super Fire Dragon shouted angrily.
"Yes, boss."  Healix answered afraid of what might be next.
"What was your Mothers' Day promotion?"  Super Fire Dragon asked knowingly.
"To hjgaahfgkf afgfkgfkdjsafak afkjfhwefbck"  Healix mummbled.

"Speak up!"  SFD demanded.
"To have a car wash with pregant women in bikinis."  Healix said shamefully.
"And how much money did we bring in?" 
"We had $500 in sales and car washes."  Healix answered proudly.
"And how much did we pay the expectant mothers?" 
"Only $500 each."

"Healix, why don't I just fire you right now?"
"Because I'm cute?"  Healix asked.
"Really?  Could have fooled me."  SFD replied.
They all laughed.



Paragon Avenger

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #81 on: May 24, 2017, 03:39:48 AM »
"Healix!"  Super Fire Dragon shouted as he entered the corner store.
"Yeah-boss"  Healix replied walking from the back room.
"I've got a killer idea for Memorial Day!"  SFD said excited.
"Ok, what is it?"  Healix asked.
"You are going to love this."  SFD said with glee.
"Yes, what is it?"  Healix said becoming interested.
"This idea, it is sheer genius!"  SFD bubbled.
"Tell me, tell me."  Healix responded with equal excitment.
"Are you sitting down, maybe you should stand up."  SFD said.
"I'm standing right here."  Healix said.
"Right,  we are going to decorate the store for Memorial Day."  SFD explained.
"Ok, I'll order flags and red-white-and-blue banners."  Healix countered grabbing the pencil behind his ear and pulling out his note pad from his apron's pocket.
"No, no, silly.  Not the Fourth of July."  SFD scolded.
"What do you have in mind, boss."  Healix asked puzzled.
"Ghosts, skeletons, gravestones, you know, Memorial Day."  SFD gushed.
"Oh brother."  Healix sighed.

Golden Ace

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #82 on: May 29, 2017, 11:35:52 AM »
Okay, that's it.  I'm charging you rent. 
or hiring you.  in any case it's a national holiday, double the price of everything then mark it 10% off Special Memorial Day Super Sale!

Paragon Avenger

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #83 on: May 29, 2017, 08:22:11 PM »

Paragon Avenger

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #84 on: June 23, 2017, 02:18:56 AM »
"Look, Golden Ace, I bought this place as a tax-shelter."  Super Fire Dragon explained pulling Gloden Ace to one side.
"I never sold you this place."  Golden Ace steamed.
"That's why it's a tax shelter."  SFD replied with a wink.
"Look, Dragon, you seem nice enough, but this is my store."  Golden Ace insisted.
"That's just a technicality."  SFD scoffed.
"Dragon, I like you.  I'll tell you what.  You can continue to run the place on one condition."  Golden Ace offered.
"Yeah-yeah-yeah."
"Any promotional idea you have needs my aproval, understand?"  Golden Ace explained.
"Yeah, yeah."
"Also, you can not burn the place down, blow the place up or destroy the store in any way."
"Yeah."
"And take out at least one of those chees aisles."
"You drive a hard bargain."  SFD said.
They both laughed.

healix

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #85 on: June 24, 2017, 08:27:47 AM »
Hey boss....I just got rid of all lighters and matches in the store. I heard someone wanted to burn it down, but we can't have that happen. Where would people buy their Depends, RedBulls and adult toys???
*gives herself a pat on the back for a job well done*
 I am a clever gal....

Listen to the 'mustn'ts'. Listen to the 'don'ts'. Listen to the 'shouldn'ts', the 'impossibles', the 'won'ts'. Listen to the 'you'll never haves', then listen close to me... Anything can happen . Anything can be.

Paragon Avenger

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #86 on: June 27, 2017, 01:13:10 AM »
"Good thinking, Healix."  Super Fire Dragon replied.
"So what did Golden Ace tell you?"  Healix asked.
"I think he said to .. add at least one more cheese ailse."  SFD purposefully misquoted.
"Another cheese ailse, fine I'll get right on it."
"Excellant, now all my plans are falling in place."  SFD mused.
They both laughed.

Paragon Avenger

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #87 on: July 30, 2017, 03:56:31 AM »
"I had a great idea for a Labor Day sale."  Super Fire Dragon said walking into the store.
"Oh, hi boss.  What's your great idea this time?"  Healix asked fearing the worst.
"Let's get those pregenat women back, and they can give birth right here."  SFD said with a smile.
"Gross, sick."
"We could have betting pools, length, weight, sex that sort of thing."  SFD continued.
"Fine, if Golden Ace says that's it's ok."  Healix demanded.
"yeah, I was kind of thinking that you could ask."
"Look Dragon, I don't care if you are my boss ..."  Healix steamed.
"Ok, ok, we'll sale bedding or towels like everybody else."
"much better."  Healix smiled.

Paragon Avenger

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #88 on: August 03, 2017, 01:44:03 AM »
"Healix, I just noticed something."  Super Fire Dragon declared.
"What's that, boss?"
"You're a girl."
"I'm a woman."  Healix said proudly.
"Ok, I always get those confused.  Are the girls the ones with blonde hair?"  SFD asked.
"Never mind, Dragon."
"Anyway, I was thinking, what if we had more stuff for the working mother?"
"Great idea, boss."
"Yes, and let's get rid of all this junk for the broken mothers."  SFD demanded.
"I walked right into that one."  Healix sighed.
They all laughed.


healix

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #89 on: August 11, 2017, 12:46:43 AM »
After returning from the hospital (from walking in to the boss's sharp wit), I noticed that SFD had made some new additions to the store....I was stunned at what I saw



"Um........boss?"
Listen to the 'mustn'ts'. Listen to the 'don'ts'. Listen to the 'shouldn'ts', the 'impossibles', the 'won'ts'. Listen to the 'you'll never haves', then listen close to me... Anything can happen . Anything can be.

Paragon Avenger

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #90 on: August 20, 2017, 03:26:55 AM »
"Healix, you look worried."  Super Fire Dragon commented as Healix walked into the corner store.
"Yes, boss.  What did you do to the store?"  Healix asked unbelieving.
"Well, I got to thinking."  SFD began.
"Yes."
"Everybody loves puppies."
"Right."
"Well, puppies don't grow on trees, they don't, do they?"  SFD asked.
"No, they don't."
"That's what I thought."
"Ok, but that doesn't explain all this."  Healix commented.
"Well, what do puppies like?"  SFD asked knowingly.
"I don't know, puppy chow."
"Exactly.  So we know sale Chinesee Food.  To attract puppies."  SFD stated proudly.
"Come again?"  Healix asked.
"Puppy Chow, Chow Mein, What's the difference."  SFD bubbled.
"Dragon, maybe you should take your medication."
They all laughed.

Paragon Avenger

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #91 on: August 30, 2017, 04:06:24 AM »
"Healix!  What did you do with all the Chow Mein?"  Super Fire Dragon demanded as he strolled into the corner store.
"Now, don't get angry."  Healix said a little afraid of this fire breathing dragon boss.
"Depends, adult toys, Red Bull.  This stuff is junk."  SFD asserted.
"Dragon, you know there are laws about selling food."  Healix said.
"The Health Department, again?"  SFD asked.
"Yes, the Health Department came in here and demanded that we close or get rid of the hot food sales."
"So we closed."
"No, boss, we got rid of the hot food sales."
"Excellant decision.  Give yourself a 100i bonus."  SFD said.
"Thank you, so much."
"You didn't let me finish."
"Ot-Oh.  What is it?"  Healix asked regretting whatever was about to come next.
"Give yourself a 100i bonus, out of your own money."
Healix slapped her hand to her forehead.

Paragon Avenger

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #92 on: September 06, 2017, 01:09:14 AM »
"Healix!"  Super Fire Dragon shouted.
"Yes, boss."  Healix replied meekly coming from the back room to the front of the store where the dragon was standing.  Super Fire Dragon was standing there tapping his foot with his arms folded in front of his chest.  He did not look pleased.
"Why on earth did you put Depends on sale 45% off?"  SFD questioned.
"No, you don't understand."  Healix started.
"Am I running a store or a charity?"  SFD interrupted.
"A store, but"  healix tried to answer.
"And what is the purpose of a store?"  SFD snapped back.
"To make"
"To make money!"  SFD yelled.
"Yes, boss"  Healix said trying to claim the angry lizard.
"How are we going to make money with you willey-nilley discounting stuff?"
"You see"
"I want you to give me one good reason why you marked down this high volumne product."  SFD said sternly.
"Boss, I didn't mark down the price.  These are factory seconds, 45% of the garment is missing."
"Oh, well, that's different.  Carry on."  SFD said embarrished.
As SFD left the store, Healix had a good laugh.

Paragon Avenger

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #93 on: September 09, 2017, 06:28:10 PM »
"Yes, I want to buy a puppy and some Chow Mein."  Super Fire Dragon said as he walked into the corner store wearing a fake mustache and speaking with a deep voice.
"I'm very sorry, sir.  We do not sale puppies or Chow Mein."  Healix said too busy to recognize SFD.
"Why this is an outrage!  You sale Red Bull and Adult Toys, where are the puppies to go along with them?"

All that yelling and fraying his arms about caused the fake mustache to fall off.  Healix paid a little more attention to this crazy customer and realized that it was Super Fire Dragon.

"Boss, what are you doing?"  Healix asked.
"You ever see that show, 'The Boss Under The Covers'?"  SFD asked.
"I think you mean, 'Undercover Boss', yes I've seen it."
"Where I'm undercover."
"No you're not."  Healix exclaimed.
"Well, even Jimmy Hoffa had to start somewhere."
"Yes, but we can't sale food without a license from the city.  And saling puppies requires even more paperwork.  I don't think we are even zoned for live animal sales."  Healix explained.
"You're a real buzz-kill, you know that, a real buzz-kill."
Super Fire Dragon stormed off.
"I do not get paid enough to work here."  Healix commented to nobody.

Paragon Avenger

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #94 on: October 07, 2017, 05:15:44 AM »
"Healix!  Where are you?"  Super Fire Dragon shouted as he walked into the Corner Store.
"I went to the back for just a second."
"Yeah, yeah, tell it to the judge."  SFD replied.
"What are you talking about?"
"How should I know; that's your job."  SFD demanded pointing a paw at Healix.
"Ok, Dragon, what's going on this week?"  Healix asked.
"Healix, my friend, be prepared to be amazed."  SFD said with gleam in his eye.
"Boy, you really can turn on a dime."
"Why I never betrayed any of my money."
"Nevermind."
"Anyway, I have a real turkey of an idea for Thanksgiving."  SFD stated pleased with himself.
"Ok, let's hear it."
"We get Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Rajesh Koothrappali and Lawrence Kutner to give away Thanksgiving feasts."
"Why?"
"Well, according to legend, didn't the Indians feed the pilgrims the first Thanksgiving day feast?"
"Yes, but."
"I believe it was during half-time of the Rose Bowl."  SFD pondered.
"Dragon."
"What?  Great idea?"
"American Indians, not fictional East Indians."
"Buzz-kill."
They both laughed.












Paragon Avenger

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #95 on: October 17, 2017, 02:37:29 AM »
"Healix!"  Super Fire Dragon shouted.
"Coming, boss."
"Get ready to decorate for Halloween."
"Right, witches, spiders, ghosts, black cats, pumpkins ..."
"What are you talking about?"  SFD asked.
"Ok, dragon, what did you have in mind?"  Healix asked regreting the question.
"Well, Hallow's Eve of course.  Get statues of all the saints."
"That's not what halloween is about."
"Is too."
"No it isn't, ask that Golden Ace guy."
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"You know when I told you to add another cheese aisle?"
"Yes, did it already."
"Fine job too."
"Thanks!  What does that have to do with it?"
"Golden Ace kind of sort of told me to taeksjd wisjenrd sjkjhf."
"What did Golden Ace order you to do?"
"Ok, Golden Ace wanted me to remove not add a cheese ailse."  SFD admitted.
"Really?  Golden Ace is going to be so mad at you."
"Why, you were the one who added the cheese ailse, you said so yourself."
"But, I ..."
"Golden Ace is mad at you, Golden Ace is mad at you."
"Oh Brother."  Healix exclaimed.

They all laughed, except Golden Ace.



healix

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #96 on: October 27, 2017, 07:09:41 PM »
*puts on work apron...grabs the sledgehammer*

Listen to the 'mustn'ts'. Listen to the 'don'ts'. Listen to the 'shouldn'ts', the 'impossibles', the 'won'ts'. Listen to the 'you'll never haves', then listen close to me... Anything can happen . Anything can be.

Paragon Avenger

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #97 on: November 14, 2017, 05:47:16 AM »
"Healix!"  Super Fire Dragon yelled as he walked into the Corner Store.
"Right here, boss."  Healix replied scorrying from the back room.
"How come every time I come in here, you're in the back room.  What are you doing back there?"
"That's where the chair is."  Healix reminded SFD.
"Right, ok, imagine this, we give away something very useful for Thanksgiving."
"Did you say, 'Give Away', boss."  Healix wondered out loud.
"Well, with qualifying purchase, we'll make it up in mark-up."
"Ok, ok, what's your big idea."
"We give away, Syrup of Ipecac."  SFD said proudly.
"Why, dragon."
"Imagine the sales slogon: 'Dine like the Romans!'"  SFD beamed.
They all laughed


Paragon Avenger

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #98 on: November 17, 2017, 07:10:49 AM »
"Healix, why are there dozens of cases of Syrup of Ipecac in the back room?"  Golden Ace asked a bit worried about Healix.
"The new owner will be giving away free bottles of that stuff during the Thanksgiving holiday shopping season."  Healix replied.
"There are at least three things wrong with what you just said."
"Oh."  Healix questioned.
"First, and MOST important.  We do not give anything away, ever."  Golden Ace instructed.
"Well, you see..."  Healix started.
"Second, there isn't a new onwer.  I own this place!"  Golden Ace thundered.
"But the dragon..."
"Third, there is no Thanksgiving Holiday Shopping Season around here."  Golden Ace interrupted.
"I understand, but you have to talk to the dragon about this."  Healix said.

"Hey, Golden Ace, what's going on?"  Super Fire Dragon asked as he walked into the corner store.
"I'm not happy, not happy at all."
"That cheese alise was Healix's idea."  SFD countered.
"What?  No, this Thanksgiving Holiday Shopping Season promotion."  Golden Ace regained control over the conversation.
"Just doing my job, no need to thank me."  SFD replied.
"I wasn't going to thank you."  Golden Ace said.
"Oh, you're very welcome."  SFD gushed.

"No, no, you don't understand, we don't give away anything, ever."  Golden Ace said re-directing the conversation.
"Of course not."  SFD snapped.
"Healix said that we would give away Syrup of Ipecac, is that right?"  Golden Ace asked.
"No, not at all.  First, the customer must buy a qualifying purchase, and then pay a sur-charge."
"Oh, that's more like it."
"And the mark-up on the qualifying purchase has been bumped up a notch."  SFD explained.
"Oh, now that sounds more like it."  Golden Ace smiled.
"I tried explaining it to Healix, but sometimes I wonder about him."  SFD admitted.
"You know that Healix is a woman?"  Golden Ace added.
"Oh right, that explains a lot."  SFD commented.

"Hey, dragon, what are you talking about?"  Healix interrupted.
"Well, for a guy, you are kind of weird, but for a woman, it all fits."  SFD explained.
"Like what?"  Healix asked.
"Well, like those bumps under your shirt.  I thought that you were deformed or something."
"Dragon!"  Healix said rolling her eyes.
They all laughed.

Paragon Avenger

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #99 on: December 07, 2017, 04:39:18 AM »
"Tell me more about this Christmas promotion of yours."  Golden Ace asked in the vain hope of actually getting a straight answer from the dragon.
"Ace, my friend, don't worry.  It's all going to be fine."  Super Fire Dragon said.
"When you say that, knotts form in my stomache."  Golden Ace replied.
"Look, I've got Healix in a cute Elf costume."
"I hate this costume."  Healix interrupted.
"I have Holiday music piped-in through a nearly untraceable splice from the neighbors cable."
"Interesting."  Golden Ace said rubbing his chin.
"I have gift guides, featuring our products, available for purchase."
"Now you're talking my language."  Golden Ace responded.
"And candy canes for the kids, the kind that make kids thristy."  SFD finished his Holiday Promotion explaination.

"I can't believe that you captured the Holiday AND corner store spirit.  Well done."  Golden Ace congratulated the dragon.
"I ain't wearing this costume, huh-uh."  Healix said passing by carrying boxes.
"This is going to be the best Christmas ever!"  SFD exclaimed.
They all laughed.