Author Topic: The Corner Store  (Read 33756 times)

Paragon Avenger

  • Circles and Triangles
  • Elite Boss
  • *
  • Posts: 6,246
  • You're not seeing double, I'm not wearing pants.
    • City of Warcraft or whatever it was called
Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #100 on: December 24, 2017, 09:26:18 PM »
"Is that you, boss?"  Healix asked, hearing someone coming into the store.
"Yes, It is I."  Super Fire Dragon replied.
"Great, I have this great idea for a great new year promotion."  Healix beamed.
"I'm glad you decided to wear the elf custome."  SFD said.
"Yes, I want to keep this lousy job."
"What did you say?"
"I said that I love this wonderful job, boss."  Healix lied.
"Good.  Now what was this great idea of yours."
"For new years day, we give every customer that comes in wearing a diaper, a calendar with valuable coupons inside.  Each month would have different coupons."
"Healix!  You said that naughty 4-letter word that Golden Ace warned you about."  SFD replied.
"Whadd I say, whadd I say?
"You said 'give' as in 'give away for free at no cost'; we don't do 'give' here."  SFD demanded.
"I meant sell, yes, sell them a calendar."  Healix stated.
"Hey, that gives me an idea.  We sell calendars to customers who come into the store wearing only a diaper and no pants.  These calendars will have valueless coupons that expire each month."  SFD stated.
"That's my idea."  Healix demanded.
"Look, either it's my great idea, or you're unemployed."
"That's a great idea there, boss."
They all laughed.


I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

  • Circles and Triangles
  • Elite Boss
  • *
  • Posts: 6,246
  • You're not seeing double, I'm not wearing pants.
    • City of Warcraft or whatever it was called
Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #101 on: January 06, 2018, 06:25:39 AM »
"And that is when the police were called?"  Golden Ace asked demanding the truth.
"Well not exactly."  Healix said sheepishly.
"What Healix means is that everything was going great until..."  Super Fire Dragon started.
"There's over 100,000i worth of damage to the store and most of the inventory is ruined.  I wouldn't call that 'going great'!"  Golden Ace stormed.

"It wasn't my fault, I put a sign up discouraging that sort of thing."  Healix said defensively.
"And besides, New Years' only comes around once a year."  SFD helped.
"Somebody better start explaining something."  Golden Ace boiled.
"Ok, ok, let me explain.  Our New Years' promotion was to have those customers dressed in diapers receive the opportunity to purchase calendars with monthly coupons."  SFD began.
"So far so good."
"Well not everybody coming into the store wearing diapers bought their diapers from a quality and reputable supplier."  SFD continued.
"Yeah, some of them bought their diapers here."  Healix giggled.

"Anyway, some of the diapers had cheap tape, and so they fell off the wearer."  SFD shrugged
"Oh my!"  Golden Ace exclaimed.
"Well, yes, there were those in the store who took offense to the unwanted display."  SFD stated.
"And that is when the fighting started?"  Golden Ace asked.
"Well skipping over a few details, pretty much yes."  Healix added.
"Healix saved the day by quickly calling 1-1-9"
"I got excited"
"I programmed the speed-dial to call 9-1-1 if anybody dialed 1-1-9"
"I thought that you didn't know human numbers?"  Golden Ace asked.
"Counting numbers, but these are phone numbers, completely different."  SFD explained.
"Whatever"  Golden Ace ahrugged.
They all laughed.
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Golden Ace

  • Boss
  • ****
  • Posts: 170
  • Moon Zone Damn it!
Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #102 on: February 04, 2018, 03:47:06 PM »
Just got back from China...  Helix, Paragon Avenger you wouldn't know anything about that would you?  I come in, sat down at my desk and wake up on a slow boat to china with a huge headache and a knot on my head.

me and some guy named Jeff Bezos were the only passengers.  the knot on his head looked like it came from a Maple C243 large Louisville Slugger whereas the knot on my head seemed to come from one of those pine bats we make in the back and stamp with that "Genuine Louisville Slugger Maple Bat" Stamp.  And yes the stamp is genuine, we don't cheat anyone here at the Corner Store. 
We had a lot of time and told and I told him my idea for a cashierless store that was inspired by my own cashiers.  *Glare*

after a few minutes later he yells he has a signal and he starts typing on this little device he has on him.  Within an a few hours a helicopter pulls him off the boat. he say's thanks for the idea and says sorry not enough room and cuts the rope I was dangling from... luckily the boat broke my fall otherwise I might have gotten wet...

two things,  He said the device was his phone although he got his pronouns messed up.

Helix I want you to take the pay phone off the wall and convert it to a hand held version we'll call it  My Phone. 
second we will convert the store to a cashierless store. everyone entering is charged a fee for entering automatically withdrawn from their bank based on their future earning potential.


Paragon Avenger

  • Circles and Triangles
  • Elite Boss
  • *
  • Posts: 6,246
  • You're not seeing double, I'm not wearing pants.
    • City of Warcraft or whatever it was called
Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #103 on: February 05, 2018, 05:35:43 AM »
"Oh, Golden Ace.  I see that you are back."  Super Fire Dragon said surprized.
"Hi old boss."  Healix responded.
"Look, I don't even own a helicopter, so don't look at me that way."  SFD said defensively.
They all laughed.
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

  • Circles and Triangles
  • Elite Boss
  • *
  • Posts: 6,246
  • You're not seeing double, I'm not wearing pants.
    • City of Warcraft or whatever it was called
Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #104 on: February 23, 2018, 05:36:07 AM »
"Healix, where the frack are you?"  SFD called out as he walked into the corner store.
"Back here, boss."  The cheerful Healix replied.
"Well, what the frack are you doing?"  SFD asked pointedly.
"I'm just taking inventory, straightening up the stock room, doing light mopping, re-stocking the restrooms, taking the trash out ..."
"Just as I suspected, you've been fracking off."  SFD interrupted.

"Dragon, did we learn a new word?"
"What the frack do you mean?"  SFD shot back.
"Never mind."  Healix resigned.
"Anyway, I got this fracking great idea for Saint Pat's Day."
"Ok, let's hear it."
"Oh no, I remember what happen the last time I told you one of my ideas, you fracker."

"Dragon, that's starting to get anonnying."  Healix informed.
"Yeah, yeah, tell it to the fracking judge."
"So what's your idea?"
"You promise you won't fracking steal it."  SFD demanded.
"Yes."  Healix responded impatiently.

"Ok, we sell green milk shakes and call them, are you fracking ready?"  Super Fire Dragon said with so much excitment he almost burst into flames.
"Green milk shakes?"
"Yes, and we call them 'Shamrock Shakes', isn't that fracking brillant?"  SFD asked full of energy.
"Dragon, have you ever heard of a small hamburger joint, just up the street, that does that same thing every year?"
"NO, I don't think so.  Are you fracking with me?"
"Dragon, McDonald's has been selling 'Shamrock Shakes' for a hun'red years or so."  Healix informed.

"You did it again, you fracking did it again, you fracker."
"What did I do?"  Healix asked.
"You took a perfectly fracked-up idea of mine and smashed it."
"I guess I am a fracker."  Healix replied.
They both fracking laughed.



I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

  • Circles and Triangles
  • Elite Boss
  • *
  • Posts: 6,246
  • You're not seeing double, I'm not wearing pants.
    • City of Warcraft or whatever it was called
Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #105 on: March 22, 2018, 05:32:57 AM »
"Easter"  Super Fire Dragon said.
"Eggs"  Healix replied thinking that they were doing word association.
"No, Easter is coming.  We need a promotion."
"Well, we could sell chocolate Easter Eggs."
"I got it!"
"Chocolate Easter Eggs?"

"No!  Think, what do people eat on Easter?"  SFD asked.
"Chocolate Easter Eggs."
"Wrong, Thanksgiving is Turkey, Christmas is Fruitcake, and Easter is Rabbit!"
"Here we go again."
"We'll have a outdoor roaster setup and cook rabbit for Easter."  SFD said proud of his idea.
"So are you saying that we won't have chocolate Easter Eggs?"

They all laughed.


I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

  • Circles and Triangles
  • Elite Boss
  • *
  • Posts: 6,246
  • You're not seeing double, I'm not wearing pants.
    • City of Warcraft or whatever it was called
Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #106 on: April 03, 2018, 11:21:47 PM »
"What the <pancake> happened here!" Golden Ace asked loudly and forcibly.
"It was our Easter promotion."  Healix offered cheerfully.
"Healix!"
"Ok, ok, it might have been my fault I guess."  Super Fire Dragon admitted.
"Dragon, start splainin'"  Gloden Ace charged.

"Well, for Easter, Healix decided to roast rabbit ..."
"Who decided what?"  Healix interrupted.
"We both decided ..."
"Huh-uh, try again Mr. Wings."  Healix demanded.
"Fine, I decided that people eat Roast Rabbit on Easter."  SFD began.

"Usually not normal people, but continue."
"Well, you're going to laugh when you hear this."  SFD laughed.
"I'm not laughing."  Golden Ace said sternly.
"See, I told you so, Dragon." Healix taunted.
"Hey, who's telling this story, me or you?"  SFD snapped.

"Somebody had better start telling some story soon!"  Golden Ace threatened.
"We put the rabbits in the roaster, and turned it on high."
"I tried to warn him, Ace, honest."  Healix pleaded.
"Anyway, everything was going according to plan when the rabbits started hopping out of the roaster."
"You put live rabbits in a roaster?"  Golden Ace was outraged.

"Well, that's the way my dear old mum used to cook them."  SFD said.
"Dragon, cooking animals alive is inhuman."  Healix stated.
"Right, tell that to frogs, lobster and clams."
"Hold it, let's get back to MY store."  Golden Ace directed.
"Alright, so the rabbits started hopping everywhere.  Well one of them must have been on-fire."

"You have got to be kidding."  Golden Ace said in disbelief.
"Actually, I think the Dragon used Breath of Firer to ..."  Healix aqcused.
"That's a lie!"  SFD shot back.
"Why don't you prove it."
"You would like that, wouldn't you?"

"So hopping, flaming bunnies burned down my store?"  Golden Ace repeated in shock.
"Well, look on the bright side."  Healix suggested.
"What would that be?"  Golden Ace asked.
"You have grounds to fire the Dragon."  Healix said with a smirk.
"Great, just great!"  SFD replied.

They all laughed.
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

healix

  • Elite Boss
  • *****
  • Posts: 1,695
  • Every good friend was once a stranger
Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #107 on: April 25, 2018, 07:17:15 AM »


*continues cleaning up rabbit pellets from the floor*
Listen to the 'mustn'ts'. Listen to the 'don'ts'. Listen to the 'shouldn'ts', the 'impossibles', the 'won'ts'. Listen to the 'you'll never haves', then listen close to me... Anything can happen . Anything can be.

Paragon Avenger

  • Circles and Triangles
  • Elite Boss
  • *
  • Posts: 6,246
  • You're not seeing double, I'm not wearing pants.
    • City of Warcraft or whatever it was called
Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #108 on: May 17, 2018, 01:25:57 AM »
"We will not cave.  We will not give-up.  We will not surrender.  We will not turn and walk away."  Golden Ace declared.
"What will we do?"  Healix asked.
"We will rebuild.  We will restock.  We will come back.  We will re-open!"  Golden Ace promised.
"Oooo, just a suggestion, put up a sign saying, 'No Flaming Bunnies Allowed'."  Super Fire Dragon suggested.
"How about a sign saying, 'No Stupid Dragons Allowed'?"  Golden Ace retorted.

"No, that doesn't sing."  SFD replied.
"Get him out of here!"  Golden Ace demanded.
"Right away, sir."  Healix obeyed using the broom to push SFD out the door.
"Great, just great."  SFD remarked and flew away.
"I'm glad he's gone."  Healix stated.

"Healix, I'm putting you in-charge until I return."  Golden Ace said.
"It's mine, all mine."
"Remember, I'm the boss."  Golden Ace reminded Healix.
"Oh, did I say that out loud?"
They all laughed.
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

  • Circles and Triangles
  • Elite Boss
  • *
  • Posts: 6,246
  • You're not seeing double, I'm not wearing pants.
    • City of Warcraft or whatever it was called
Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #109 on: June 20, 2018, 01:20:28 AM »
After weeks of hard work, the corner store has re-opened, in its new location.
Healix was over-heard saying, "I like this new store."

They all laughed.
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

healix

  • Elite Boss
  • *****
  • Posts: 1,695
  • Every good friend was once a stranger
Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #110 on: June 25, 2018, 09:31:35 PM »


Listen to the 'mustn'ts'. Listen to the 'don'ts'. Listen to the 'shouldn'ts', the 'impossibles', the 'won'ts'. Listen to the 'you'll never haves', then listen close to me... Anything can happen . Anything can be.

Paragon Avenger

  • Circles and Triangles
  • Elite Boss
  • *
  • Posts: 6,246
  • You're not seeing double, I'm not wearing pants.
    • City of Warcraft or whatever it was called
Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #111 on: June 28, 2018, 11:52:44 PM »
A slendar 8 foot tall Archnos Widow walked into the store.
"Howdy, what can I do you for?"  Healix inquired.
"I never like that backward saying."  The widow said, and shot Healix with a poisoned dart from her wrist gun.  Healix fell to the floor.
They all laughed.
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

  • Circles and Triangles
  • Elite Boss
  • *
  • Posts: 6,246
  • You're not seeing double, I'm not wearing pants.
    • City of Warcraft or whatever it was called
Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #112 on: July 01, 2018, 09:32:41 PM »
Healix came-to and pulled the dart out of her chest.
"That was not nice."  Healix said pointing to a sign on the wall.
The sign read: "Do NOT shoot the store clerk or sales staff."

"Oh, sorry, I didn't see that sign.  I'm looking for diamonds."  The tall Arachnos Widow said.
"Diamonds alise 6 just past Frozen Foods, if you hit the cheese alise, you've gone too far."  Healix said rercovering from the effects of the poisoned dart.

"Thank you."  The Arachnos Widow said as she walked away swinging her hips in an almost mesmerizing rhythm.
They all stared.
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

  • Circles and Triangles
  • Elite Boss
  • *
  • Posts: 6,246
  • You're not seeing double, I'm not wearing pants.
    • City of Warcraft or whatever it was called
Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #113 on: July 30, 2018, 04:43:12 AM »
"You, deary, what's your name?"  The Arachnos Widow asked.
"Healix."
"Charming."
"Thank you."  Healix said proudly.

"Now deary, this store is set-up all wrong."
"Golden Ace, the owner, set it up this way, and I like it too."
"Of course you do, deary, but we are going to transform this place into an oasis of style and sophistication."
"I don't think we're zoned for that."  Healix replied.
They all laughed.

I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

  • Circles and Triangles
  • Elite Boss
  • *
  • Posts: 6,246
  • You're not seeing double, I'm not wearing pants.
    • City of Warcraft or whatever it was called
Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #114 on: August 02, 2018, 02:02:20 AM »
"You, deary, come here." 
"My name is Healix."
"Sure it is."
"What's your name?"
"Call me, Ma'am, Yes Ma,am."

"Ma'am, yes ma'am, what is your name, ma'am, thank you ma'am."
"Oh, my name.  I am Kolissa."
"Ok, Kolissa, want do you need?"
"I need you to call me boss, deary."
"This is going to be a long summer."

They all laughed.
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

  • Circles and Triangles
  • Elite Boss
  • *
  • Posts: 6,246
  • You're not seeing double, I'm not wearing pants.
    • City of Warcraft or whatever it was called
Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #115 on: August 07, 2018, 02:38:49 AM »
"Kolissa!"  Healix called-out.  To no response.
"Kolissa!"  She tried again, walking around the corner of the aisle.
"Kolissa, why won't you ask me."  Healix said staring out the tall Arachnos Widow.
"Fine, boss ma'am, your humble servant is calling you."  Healix said rolling her eyes.
"Yes, deary?"  Kolissa answered.

"I finished re-arranging the store the way you wanted it."  Healix said.
"The way who wanted it?"
"The way my queen wanted it, oh Kolissa supreme."  Healix managed to say with a straight face.
"Most excellent, let's inspect it."
The two women walked up and down each aisle of the store looking at the shelves.

"No, no, this is all wrong.  Put it back the way it was before."  Kolissa demanded.
Healix made a hand gesture pretending to wring the Arachnos Widows neck. 
Kolissa turned to look at her.
"Oh, yes my most wise queen."  Healix said quickly putting her hands behind her back.

"I'll be in the executive suite if anything should come up."  Kolissa said headed towards the Ladies Room.
They all laughed, except poor ole Healix.
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

  • Circles and Triangles
  • Elite Boss
  • *
  • Posts: 6,246
  • You're not seeing double, I'm not wearing pants.
    • City of Warcraft or whatever it was called
Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #116 on: August 25, 2018, 03:31:19 AM »
"Kolissa, my perfect queen, where are you?"  Healix called-out.
"Yes, deary?"  Kolissa answered.
"I finished re-arranging the store the way you wanted it."  Healix said.
"The way it was before?"  Kolissa asked.
"Yes, oh most beautiful vision."

"Good, now take a letter.  Dear Golden Ace, This is to inform you that your corner store, so-called, is now the sole property of Kolissa & Co., Inc. L.L.C.  Any attempt to challenge this claim will be met with exterme force.  Signed, A Friend."
"You have got to be kidding."  Healix said stunned.
"Deary, it's a new day."
They all laughed, except Golden Ace, and Super Fire Dragon.
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

Paragon Avenger

  • Circles and Triangles
  • Elite Boss
  • *
  • Posts: 6,246
  • You're not seeing double, I'm not wearing pants.
    • City of Warcraft or whatever it was called
Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #117 on: September 01, 2018, 04:39:52 AM »
"Yeah, I want a bottle of Gin, and some edible panties, oh and a can of Jolt."  He said.
"Should I gift wrap it?"  Healix asked.
"Hold it, hold it!"  Kolissa demanded.
"Why, what's the problem?"
"You must show I.D. for the Jolt."

They all laughed.
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?

healix

  • Elite Boss
  • *****
  • Posts: 1,695
  • Every good friend was once a stranger
Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #118 on: September 07, 2018, 11:17:29 PM »
"Excuse me, but do you work here?"
(Healix looks at her General Store uniform and 5-inch name badge)
"No, I don't."
They all laughed. Except the boss. And the customer.
Listen to the 'mustn'ts'. Listen to the 'don'ts'. Listen to the 'shouldn'ts', the 'impossibles', the 'won'ts'. Listen to the 'you'll never haves', then listen close to me... Anything can happen . Anything can be.

Paragon Avenger

  • Circles and Triangles
  • Elite Boss
  • *
  • Posts: 6,246
  • You're not seeing double, I'm not wearing pants.
    • City of Warcraft or whatever it was called
Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #119 on: September 08, 2018, 12:19:39 AM »
"You wanted to see me, boss?"  Healx asked meekly.
"Yes, deary, come in, sit down, do you want a beverage?"  Kolissa cooed.
"Thanks, yes, a mocha capacino double skinny with low cal whipped topping would be lovely."
"So here is your new name badge."  Kolissa said ignoring the drink order.
"That thing is huge, plus it says, 'I'm happy to help you', that really isn't me, you know?"
"I don't care, wear it, be friendly to the PAYING customers, and pick me up a latte` while you're getting your drink, on your break."
"Yes, boss."

Nobody laughed, it really is a new day at the corner store.
I don't know when City of Heroes will return, or do I?