Author Topic: How are you handling the loss?  (Read 187390 times)

TonyV

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #300 on: February 03, 2013, 08:07:06 AM »
Hey all, I've said this before, but I'm going to say it again because, as corny as it sounds, I do care about you folks and it's really important.

If you're having a lot of trouble coming to grips with the game shutting down, please seek professional help.  Don't feel silly, and don't let anyone convince you that "it's just a game" is a valid reason not to feel a sense of loss or a reason to grieve.  There are too many people out there who don't understand just how immersing an experience playing these games can be, and the kind of social ties that are suddenly yanked away when an event like this happens.

There are a lot of resources on the web to help out in seeking help.  Here's an article on WebMD, for example, that might help.  Google is your friend.

Mental health is no less important than physical health.  I've mentioned this before too, and it's no less true now.  If you break your arm, it's stupid to just hope it heals right on its own.  Hopefully you'd recognize anyone whose advice is to just suck it up and get over it as either not having your best interest at heart or grossly misunderstanding the necessity of medical attention.  Your brain is MUCH more important than your arm in living a healthy, happy life.  PLEASE take care of it just like you would any other organ or body part that is having some trouble!

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #301 on: February 03, 2013, 01:11:14 PM »
Hey all, I've said this before, but I'm going to say it again because, as corny as it sounds, I do care about you folks and it's really important.

If you're having a lot of trouble coming to grips with the game shutting down, please seek professional help.  Don't feel silly, and don't let anyone convince you that "it's just a game" is a valid reason not to feel a sense of loss or a reason to grieve.  There are too many people out there who don't understand just how immersing an experience playing these games can be, and the kind of social ties that are suddenly yanked away when an event like this happens.

There are a lot of resources on the web to help out in seeking help.  Here's an article on WebMD, for example, that might help.  Google is your friend.

Mental health is no less important than physical health.  I've mentioned this before too, and it's no less true now.  If you break your arm, it's stupid to just hope it heals right on its own.  Hopefully you'd recognize anyone whose advice is to just suck it up and get over it as either not having your best interest at heart or grossly misunderstanding the necessity of medical attention.  Your brain is MUCH more important than your arm in living a healthy, happy life.  PLEASE take care of it just like you would any other organ or body part that is having some trouble!
Dear TonyV,  First, Thank you, man!  You are so totally awesome with what all you've done here on Titan Network and how you/Titan basically "saved" the CoH Community from being totally homeless; i.e. we can be here even tho we lost (i believe only temporarily) our venue (the mmo.)

I'm gonna post a few links from a related grieving thread because I think some posts there speak directly to this topic.  Besides, it'll lend weight to my observations.  ;)  CoH meant a great deal to almost all of us.  The experience of playing CoH meant more to a number of us than we ever imagined it did, until it was gone. (I know that was true for me.  I was freakin' shocked to discover I could care this much about CoH or anything categorized as "a game".)  Playing CoH served multiple purposes from hanging out with friends (I remember some nights logging in to find people simply using coh as a chat room, which IMO was just fine, especially since most of the late night global chat was about builds, etc. tho sometimes it was just to IM chat for those of us who have occasional insomnia) to simply playing the game for the inherent pleasure of playing.  I know I used CoH at times as a stress-reliever to "blow off steam" from whatever RL niggling frustrations were getting to me (old norse Nugla) and LOL even had friends suggest to me on occasion that I go "blow up pixels" aka play CoH for a while.  I also played CoH as a pain-reliever, since the distraction provided by the immersive virtual world was better for me than a movie in pain-management.  In the Star Trek: TNG sense, CoH was my holodeck.

Unlike many adults and teens, since I am retired I have the luxury of time.  Many don't; and I well recall having to deal with my grieving the loss of a family member on a piecemeal basis when I was a working adult.  I believe this speaks directly to why our fellow fans and players of CoH are still expressing here on Titan feelings of sorrow and/or anger about CoH no longer 'being there" for us.  Again, kudos to Titan Network forums for giving us all a safe place to ventilate such feelings.  I'd like to quote our friend and fellow CoH player, Alchemedic, "Second, this community is providing people what is the most important thing necessary for the grieving process, which is support and understanding. The stresses people will feel about this is likely outside this forum. If places like this did not exist for people to express their sorrow, then it would be awful; the people here are helping each other by giving each other the time and space to mourn "openly."  source: http://www.cohtitan.com/forum/index.php/topic,6503.msg84803.html#msg84803  Alchemedic, who said he was a former professional bereavement counselor, and others had other things to say in that related thread; e.g.  http://www.cohtitan.com/forum/index.php/topic,6503.msg83185.html#msg83185 and http://www.cohtitan.com/forum/index.php/topic,6503.msg80923.html#msg80923

My own view is to grieve and let it out.  I know I don't wanna be saddled with either toxic anger, sorrow, or other unaddressed issues.  Again, I was just totally blown away, initially, by the strength of my emotional response to CoH ending.  But, having lived a bit above 5 decades on the planet, knew what I was feeling and able to identify my emotions.  Heck, I even had to deal with feelings of shock and surprise that I even had such feelings, but once I recognized the emotions there was no way I was not gonna deal with them.  Thus unlike some younger adults and definitely teens I had decades of experience to draw upon to help me get thru this.  This late in my own process I still feel occasional twinges of sorrow and anger - heck, as I write this I'm ANGRY at NCSoft and I guess even more broadly the world that the pleasure of playing CoH is denied me.  Though, yeah, life does go on.  *picks up metaphorical broom to start sweeping* and/or *picks up large and even small pieces of a beloved broken vase to see how I might glue it back together*  Long story short here: People need to grieve here for as long as we do, no time limit.  Especially and perhaps particularly those working adults and teens who are going thru their grieving process piecemeal and/or for whom this is the first significant loss they've had in their young lives.

I don't want to take anything away from what you're saying, TonyV.  I've benefited twice from working thru my emotions with a bereavement counselor.   (If any want details, I am willing to share that via PM or email but no casual reader need be burdened seeing me write about how I personally coped with such losses here.)

I'd like to conclude with a couple of Light Bulb jokes.  They go like this:

How many Minnesotans does it take to change a light bulb?  Answer: Two.  One to change it and the other to jump-start it.  (We often in MPLS, MN help one another jump start each other's cars during Minnesota winters (think Frostbite Falls from Rocky & Bullwinkle)

How many Manhattenites (people from Manhatten Island) does it take to change a light bulb?  Answer: Two.  One to mix the martinis while the other phones the electrician.

How many Zen Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?  Answer:  The orchid has many petals.  (I invite you to think about this koan a moment)

Thank you, Titans, and Peace Out.  I hope you have a beautiful day! and a restful, relaxing evening.   :D
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Ironbull

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #302 on: February 03, 2013, 04:52:17 PM »
How am i handling the loss?  Two words, Not Good.  Ever played Dynasty Warriors?  I had a Goateeg.  It now looks like Guan Yu's beard.  I got drunk the other night wrapped a bed sheet around my neck and went to the bar wishing it was pocket D.  I stood at a train station wondering why I couldn't find the train to Atlas.  Every time i hear the word Positive it sounds like Positron and I cry.  I go up to random people and ask if they want to form a league.  Don't even get me started on what happens when I see an image or hear a sound bite from the game.  I think the term is regression.  I making strides, but it's not looking good.

NecrotechMaster

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #303 on: February 03, 2013, 04:55:33 PM »
dynasty warriors, good times, good times lol

i used to play that all the time back in high school, my favorite was dynasty warriors 4

johnrobey

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #304 on: February 03, 2013, 07:02:59 PM »
How am i handling the loss?  Two words, Not Good.  Ever played Dynasty Warriors?  I had a Goateeg.  It now looks like Guan Yu's beard.  I got drunk the other night wrapped a bed sheet around my neck and went to the bar wishing it was pocket D.  I stood at a train station wondering why I couldn't find the train to Atlas.  Every time i hear the word Positive it sounds like Positron and I cry.  I go up to random people and ask if they want to form a league.  Don't even get me started on what happens when I see an image or hear a sound bite from the game.  I think the term is regression.  I making strides, but it's not looking good.
Dear Mr.Joshua,
I hope you won't take my advice to you unkindly.  Sir, I believe your wonderful brain is presently over-associating.  I gather you hunger to play CoH.  I presume that prior to CoH sunset you did not do such things as inviting random people (i think the word i'd use is "total strangers") to form leagues; nor do I imagine when at a train station that you looked for the train to Atlas Park formerly?  I ask this as a question, since if you did such things prior to CoH game shutdown then that might indicate something else than deep grieving and missing what you enjoyed in CoH.  The virtual fantasy world of CoH/mmorpg's and other games is not intended to be a substitute for reality, but a diversion in like manner when one reads novels or watches movies, hence enhances our real lives.   I advise you to do your best to SNAP OUT OF IT!!!!  Wake Up!!  It's 100% A-okay (imo) to imagine and daydream all one likes, provided one's mind and brain can make clear distinction between what is real and what is fantasy.  That alcohol or other chemicals might confuse the brain, probably suggests you'd be well advised to steer clear of drink for a while.  Yes, spontaneous age regression can and does occur, as when on reaches inside to get in tune with one's "inner child."  In all seriousness, if these symptoms you are having persist to the extent of interfering with social function and/or perception of reality, to me that's like an Alarm Clock or Big Red Flag that you should notice and take heed of.  In addition to your grappling with this yourself, you may well find benefit from talking with a counselor, therapist and/or really good friend.  If you choose to talk with others outside Titan Network about this, I would focus my initial conversation(s) on the grief and experience of loss you are having.  All by itself, grief can have profound effect upon the mind/psyche, and when extreme can distort perception, as I believe you are describing.   It may be that simply unburdening yourself by ventilating and giving voice to your feelings of loss around CoH to close friends, a high school or college counselor, etc. might be sufficient for your brain to auto-correct.  I'm gonna follow up this post by sending you an email and/or PM.  Take very, very good care of yourself.   Peace out!
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srmalloy

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #305 on: February 04, 2013, 06:43:34 PM »
Is it sad for the reality that City of being gone to just hit you months after the end? It hit me when I watched a video of the end, where meteors were hitting the city and villains and heroes just walked away and gathered in Atlas Park. When I saw heroes flying it hit like a brick that I miss flying. I miss saving the world. I miss being a hero. I am not an emotional type guy, but that moved me to tears that I will never fly again.

If any one thing could be the 'poster child' for the loss of CoH, it's this. From what I've seen of other MMOs, City of Heroes was unique in the way that it actively removed obstacles to your character getting around. With the exception of the tops of the few buildings that poked up past the height limit, you could go anywhere -- and even though you would often make long-distance jaunts around Paragon City in the process of following a contact's arc, you weren't getting nickle-and-dime'd to death every time you got on the tram.

And I keep having odd crossover thoughts; I've been playing SWTOR, which for the most part avoids the 'twitch skills' play style, except for the damn jumping puzzles to get to datacrons -- which the Jedi and Sith have the same problems with; despite being able to leap a hundred feet or more to engage an opponent in melee, they can't jump on top of a ten-foot shipping container. And the zone designs build in barriers to force ground-bound characters into taking particular routes through terrain; I keep thinking how much time and effort running around would be saved if I just had Superleap or Flight...

I think the theme song from Firefly carries some of the poignancy of losing that freedom:
Quote
Take my love
Take my land
Take me where I cannot stand
I don't care
I'm still free
You can't take the sky from me

Von Krieger

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #306 on: February 05, 2013, 01:45:44 AM »
Well, after having purchased a new desk, as my old one looked horribly precarious (though not that I got it apart, seems rather sturdy), I've found that my old mouse pad does not feel too great on the new desk. The only other mousepad I have? One of my two Going Rogue preorder pads.

So it gave me a sad. :(

But it works nicely, though!

Joshex

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #307 on: February 05, 2013, 05:04:05 AM »
%$#& I'm turning into doctor evil...

I foundmyself discussing things of a rather world domination order it was involving some technology... I even started considering hiring evil henchmen..

this is a time I would usually hop on my Mastermind and do something bad like rob a paragon city bank to distract myself from my urge to change the world from it's dark path.

I have no outlet in fiction.. I'm trying to hold onto some manner of ethics and keep myself snapped out of the insane evil genius frame of mind.. but it's just sooo hard....

if I talk abot this with any doctors or anything they'll lock me up for sure.. or put me on medication.. I need CoH and CoV back.. I think I see now why I had no world domination thoughts when CoH was working, I always played as a hero so I felt the cause of justice.

when CoH closed I have no more fiction to push me towards heroic actions, I went through the vigilante mindset of trying to find a way to save the world from the dark path it's following... and then recently... I am shocked to admitt I found myself thinking of building a D-day weapon and threatenning to use it unless certain government organizations paid me millions of dollars..

I have since snapped ot of it and of coarse repented of said thoughts but.. how much longer till I find myself actually building this thing?
There is always another way. But it might not work exactly like you may desire.

A wise old rabbit once told me "Never give-up!, Trust your instincts!" granted the advice at the time led me on a tripped-out voyage out of an asteroid belt, but hey it was more impressive than a bunch of rocks and space monkies.

Twisted Toon

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #308 on: February 05, 2013, 05:44:38 AM »
%$#& I'm turning into doctor evil...

I foundmyself discussing things of a rather world domination order it was involving some technology... I even started considering hiring evil henchmen..

this is a time I would usually hop on my Mastermind and do something bad like rob a paragon city bank to distract myself from my urge to change the world from it's dark path.

I have no outlet in fiction.. I'm trying to hold onto some manner of ethics and keep myself snapped out of the insane evil genius frame of mind.. but it's just sooo hard....

if I talk abot this with any doctors or anything they'll lock me up for sure.. or put me on medication.. I need CoH and CoV back.. I think I see now why I had no world domination thoughts when CoH was working, I always played as a hero so I felt the cause of justice.

when CoH closed I have no more fiction to push me towards heroic actions, I went through the vigilante mindset of trying to find a way to save the world from the dark path it's following... and then recently... I am shocked to admitt I found myself thinking of building a D-day weapon and threatenning to use it unless certain government organizations paid me millions of dollars..

I have since snapped ot of it and of coarse repented of said thoughts but.. how much longer till I find myself actually building this thing?

You might give the Heralds of Valdemar series, written by a wonderful Author named Mercedes Lackey, a shot. I find it to be a very good series, as well as its sequel and prequel series'. Also, the Belgariad and Mallorean series' by David Eddings is good too. That is, if you can manage to tolerate reading books. But then, I've enjoyed reading books since I was in school. So much in fact that I, ironically, failed English in my senior year.

Did you know that, back in the day, homework counted for 60% of your grade and they wouldn't pass you if you didn't do you homework but still made As on the tests?
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Joshex

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #309 on: February 05, 2013, 05:58:48 AM »
You might give the Heralds of Valdemar series, written by a wonderful Author named Mercedes Lackey, a shot. I find it to be a very good series, as well as its sequel and prequel series'. Also, the Belgariad and Mallorean series' by David Eddings is good too. That is, if you can manage to tolerate reading books. But then, I've enjoyed reading books since I was in school. So much in fact that I, ironically, failed English in my senior year.

Did you know that, back in the day, homework counted for 60% of your grade and they wouldn't pass you if you didn't do you homework but still made As on the tests?

I read lots of books, and enjoy writing., I remember the old days in school, but eventually my teachers figured out I was just lazy when I'd come into class int he morning and do my homework right as the teacher was coming round to collect it then sleep through class and ace the tests..

especially science class.. I scare myself with somethings I know..

I might give the books a shot, though I'm a procrastinator so researching and finding them will be considered a job on my logic table..

maybe I should go back to my old ways like before I found CoH and just sleep all day and night.. at least that way I'm not necessarily thinking anything bad and not trying to build devices..
There is always another way. But it might not work exactly like you may desire.

A wise old rabbit once told me "Never give-up!, Trust your instincts!" granted the advice at the time led me on a tripped-out voyage out of an asteroid belt, but hey it was more impressive than a bunch of rocks and space monkies.

Amph

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #310 on: February 05, 2013, 11:49:46 AM »
Short and sweet.

8 year, hard core, Vet, but a lurker.  But I still come back, even when there is nothing there.

I so hope that "something" happens to turn the tide and push back this wall of despair.

My lovely wife says things like "get over it, move on", but... that life was so much a part of me, of who I was (and still am), to say good bye for real, for the last time... I will not.  I will instead rely on those stronger, faster, smarter than me, to keep pushing.  I will support, when it is time, with dollars if I have to, as I have no skill (being a consumer), but I do have heart.  And, it still beats...

Conan Unchained, Star Trek Online, DCUniverse, Champions, and (shudders) WoW... tried 'em.  Don't care for 'em.  Conan has been the best as it is SO different, I do not feel any sympathic pain when I play...   Bottom line:  I know what I like, and I can't have it.

Very frustrating.

I just want, what I want, and KNOW that I cant have it.

That is the issue...

Ironwolf

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #311 on: February 05, 2013, 03:04:13 PM »
I was reading an old Robert E Howard Sailor Steve Costigan story this morning and one of the english characters yelled at him, "You blawsted Yankee!" and I said to myself holy cow thats another alt I can roll..............and stopped realizing I can't.

It's a shame Blawsted Yankee seemed a damn good name.

Illusionss

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #312 on: February 05, 2013, 05:45:27 PM »
I think that only now is it starting to sink in, that CoX is really, truly gone forever - or at least, for years and years and years.

We KNEW these things since last August. We knew it was coming, and we were upset.

But NOW: afterward. We are stripped of our wings, of our capes and dumped flightless outside of the closed gates to Paragon by a truly unbeatable archvillain. We cannot re-enter. We will probably never re-enter. We look around and realize that there is nothing to do but walk somewheres else on our own all-too-human feet. AND IT SUCKS. Before, this was an academic realization but now it is REAL.

Seeking psychiatric help for an honest loss is not going to help much, IMO. They're going to put you on an anti-depressant that's going to make you gain weight - talk about more depression. Such drugs are a bandage over an unhealed wound - that drug is not going to get us the City and the Isles back.

This game deserves all of my grief. Nor do i want a psych diagnosis on my medical history... I would only suggest psychiatric help if someone is truly suicidal over this; I hope this isn't an issue for anyone.

"Night splits and the dawn breaks loose. [We], through the terrible novelty of light, stalk on, stalk on. This is not the kind of world in which comfort is to be sought or expected." - Richard Adams.

Ironwolf

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #313 on: February 05, 2013, 06:41:39 PM »
The very best way to handle loss? Channel your sadness, anger and hurt into creativity.

Take those characters you made and draw, paint and write about them. Use them and expand them and make them grow, if the game returns soon - you can continue with new stories to tell.

johnrobey

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #314 on: February 05, 2013, 11:23:38 PM »
How am i handling the loss?  Two words, Not Good.  Ever played Dynasty Warriors?  I had a Goateeg.  It now looks like Guan Yu's beard.  I got drunk the other night wrapped a bed sheet around my neck and went to the bar wishing it was pocket D.  I stood at a train station wondering why I couldn't find the train to Atlas.  Every time i hear the word Positive it sounds like Positron and I cry.  I go up to random people and ask if they want to form a league.  Don't even get me started on what happens when I see an image or hear a sound bite from the game.  I think the term is regression.  I making strides, but it's not looking good.
Dear Joshua,
Thank you for writing in reply to my email inquiry that what you posted here was what in the old days of the amateur press associations (APA's) we called a "hoax zine" aka  a joke!  Well, you got me right good!  Kudos!  I think Ashton Kutcher would say I've been "punk'd."  No prob, man.  Glad you're alright.  Take good care.   8)
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Illusionss

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #315 on: February 05, 2013, 11:51:02 PM »
The very best way to handle loss? Channel your sadness, anger and hurt into creativity.

Take those characters you made and draw, paint and write about them. Use them and expand them and make them grow, if the game returns soon - you can continue with new stories to tell.

I am going to do just that, just as soon as I can look at my main and not tear up. I want to do a big, detailed painting of my main, a Dark/dark Defender, in the Tar Patch casting animation.... just as soon as looking at him does not make me cry. I have it all planned out in my head.

I'd like to paint some of my other characters as well.

Colette

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #316 on: February 05, 2013, 11:57:18 PM »
"The very best way to handle loss? Channel your sadness, anger and hurt into creativity."

Anti-NCSoft memes -- my anti-depressant of choice.

Ironwolf

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #317 on: February 06, 2013, 03:21:39 PM »
I will be purchasing the Hero Engine software soon as I am not getting a reply back from from Cryptic. I then am going to be working on an idea I had in relation to a kid friendly game that is in the same vein as City of Heroes. I will post more once I get the licensing and copywrite stuff and trademarking in place.

I could easily see someone usurping my idea if I floated it out in the public at this time.

Victoria Victrix

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #318 on: February 07, 2013, 02:08:10 AM »
http://secretworldchronicle.com/

Free FREE FREE podcast series based on characters created in CoH.  Also, if you prefer to buy the books, volumes 1 and 2 are out from Baen Books (a division of Simon and Schuster)

Secret World Chronicles: Book One: INVASION!
Secret World Chronicles: Book Two: World Divided
I will go down with this ship.  I won't put my hands up in surrender.  There will be no white flag above my door.  I'm in love, and always will be.  Dido

Twisted Toon

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #319 on: February 07, 2013, 05:58:45 AM »
http://secretworldchronicle.com/

Free FREE FREE podcast series based on characters created in CoH.  Also, if you prefer to buy the books, volumes 1 and 2 are out from Baen Books (a division of Simon and Schuster)

Secret World Chronicles: Book One: INVASION!
Secret World Chronicles: Book Two: World Divided
Frankentrain's creator is impatiently awaiting the next installment of Secret World Chronicles.
She's actually taken to doing (gasp) work stuff at home.  The Horror!!!  :P
Hope never abandons you, you abandon it. - George Weinberg

Hope ... is not a feeling; it is something you do. - Katherine Paterson

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