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Author Topic: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)  (Read 221978 times)

Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #360 on: June 23, 2015, 02:00:53 AM »
Our Action Reporting Team Has Just Learned ...

That the THeM are so excited about the SoonTM that all talks with NCSoft have came to a stop as we all wait for ICON to become a chat client with presence avitars created through the costume designer.  SoonTM we will be able to pretend to recruit for task forces and trials.

This reporter says, "Keep up the good work ScriptRunner."
What, oh, MacroDancer, ProcedurePusher, SubroutineStalker, MethodMavan, ProcessPuller,  no wait I got it ...

CodeWalker!
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Arcana

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #361 on: June 23, 2015, 02:20:32 AM »
Quote from: Paragon Avenger on June 23, 2015, 02:00:53 AM
SoonTM we will be able to pretend to recruit for task forces and trials.

The good news is those of us that liked them will be able to hang out in Dark Astoria and recruit for Incarnate trials, while those that didn't like them won't actually have to run them.  Win/win.
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Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #362 on: June 23, 2015, 04:25:50 AM »
Our Action Reporting Team Has Just Learned ...

The NCSoft executives are looking forward to the SoonTM.  So that they can present their side of the story behind the shut down of CoH.  According to my sources, they are going to recount how somebody tripped over the main extension cord that all the servers were plugged into.  The resulting head-crashes and memory errors were too much for Paragon Studio to handle at the time.
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Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #363 on: June 24, 2015, 01:02:58 AM »
Our Action Reporting Team Has Just Learned ...

That the SoonTM to be released chat client based on City of Heroes will be called:
Super Fire Dragon's Fun House of Chat.
Codewalker was unavailable for comment, but we can only guess that SFD's Fun House is a codename for the project.
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Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #364 on: June 25, 2015, 08:58:57 PM »
Our Action Reporting Team Has Just Learned ...

That the XMPP enabled chat client formerly known as SoonTM that was code named: Super Fire Dragon's Fun House of Chat will be released as early as the fourth of July, (not positive of the year) and it will be called ...
Super Fire Dragon's Paragon Chat, (Paragon Chat for short).
Again Codewalker was unavailable for comment, but we think he might say, "Keep it up Circles and Triangles, keep it up."
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Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #365 on: June 27, 2015, 02:23:34 AM »
Our Action Reporting Team Has Just Learned ...

That Codewalker was offered a basket full of cash by NCSoft to "help" them develop some project.  He politely told them, (not THeM), to kiss-off.

(remember, this is fake stuff, I'm making up.)
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Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #366 on: June 28, 2015, 12:25:35 AM »
Our Action Reporting Team Has Just Learned ...

That certain combinations of scrapper primary powersets and certain scrapper secondary powersets work better together than others.  As a matter of fact, Claws primary and Shield secondary are so good together that the game will not even let you choose that combination.
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Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #367 on: June 28, 2015, 04:27:41 AM »
Our Action Reporting Team Has Just Learned ...

Ms. Liberty was over heard complaining that she must come out of retirement and again work for Paragon City.
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Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #368 on: June 29, 2015, 01:44:28 AM »
Our Action Reporting Team Has Just Learned ...


That the mysterious Paragon Avenger has been lurking about.
« Last Edit: June 30, 2015, 01:12:17 AM by Paragon Avenger »
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Floride

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #369 on: June 29, 2015, 04:44:23 AM »
This just in...

There is warning of a new high level computer worm dubbed the Soon Virus. Developed by notorious hacker C0d3vv4lk3r, the virus disguises itself as a computer game. When installed, users are rerouted to a clandestine server and unable to log out for extended periods, often times brought to tears at the sight of other Soon victims. While it is unknown how many gamers will fall prey, the gaming community as a whole has been anticipating it for a few years. Still, the shock of the infection is expected to cause thousands of gamers to miss many full days of work, full nights of sleep, important meals and even phone calls. The devastation should only increase in the next few months as newer versions of the virus are already in the works.
However, if you fall victim to Soon, there is hope. Experts speculate repeatedly acting like a total douchebag in the virus' chat client may have a disabling effect, although to what extent is still unclear.
If you have any information leading to the whereabouts of C0d3vv4lk3r, please contact no one and shut the hell up.  8)
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Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #370 on: June 30, 2015, 01:12:57 AM »
Quote from: Paragon Avenger on June 29, 2015, 01:44:28 AM
Our Action Reporting Team Has Just Learned ...
That the mysterious Paragon Avenger has been lurking about.

No you fools, that's me.  Honestly, try to find good help these days.
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Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #371 on: July 02, 2015, 02:02:52 AM »
Our Action Reporting Team Has Just Learned ...

The THeM is back at trying to purchase the IP of City of Heroes.
This week, THeM made Oriental food and served it to the NCSoft executives.
With the food, THeM served fortune cookies.
The fortune cookies had messages like, "Good day to sell City of Heroes", and "You will profit from City of Heroes sale, today", even, "Sale us the friggin' game already, clods".
The NCSoft executives ate the meal and thanked the THeM politely.
After the executives left, THeM noticed that the fortune cookies were untouched.
THeM asked one of the executives about that.
NCSoft executive said that fortune cookies are silly American custom.
 
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Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #372 on: July 02, 2015, 11:28:47 PM »
Our Action Reporting Team Has Just Learned ...

The NCSoft executives in an attempt to stop being bothered by the THeM, have rearranged their offices, changed their hours of operation, started wearing disguises and even posted guard dogs on every floor of their skyscrapper office building.
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Floride

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #373 on: July 02, 2015, 11:32:31 PM »
Quote from: Paragon Avenger on July 02, 2015, 02:02:52 AM
"Good day to sell City of Heroes"
... in bed!
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Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #374 on: July 02, 2015, 11:58:27 PM »
Quote from: Floride on July 02, 2015, 11:32:31 PM
... in bed!

(silly American custom)
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Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #375 on: July 06, 2015, 03:17:07 AM »
Our Action Reporting Team Has Just Learned ...

There is a group of people trying to buy the Intellectual Property (IP) of City of Heroes.
So far, the Keebler elves have been no more successful than the THeM.

To any and all NCSoft executives reading this, "Mister, give us back our ball."
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Floride

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #376 on: July 06, 2015, 03:35:31 AM »
Quote from: Paragon Avenger on July 02, 2015, 11:58:27 PM
(silly American custom)
... in bed!

Yeah, I went there ;D
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Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #377 on: July 09, 2015, 03:33:50 AM »

Our Action Reporting Team Has Just Learned ...

What, I read this yesterday!  What's going on?  Oh I see.

It seems that Our Action Reporting Team Has been using Paragon Chat and not doing their jobs!!
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Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #378 on: July 10, 2015, 02:18:10 AM »
Our Action Reporting Team Has Just Learned ...

That members of the group known as THeM, have been secretly attempting to purchase the rights to the Massively Multi-player On-line Role Playing Game  called City of HeroesTM and City of VillainsTM and Going RogueTM.  We do not at this time know THeM's reasons for the purchase, nor do we fully understand THeM's plans for these games after purchase.  We can only assume that something sinister is at hand.
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Paragon Avenger

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Re: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)
« Reply #379 on: July 11, 2015, 01:55:25 AM »

Our Action Reporting Team Has Just Learned ...

The NCSoft CEO was spotted in Atlas Park under the Atlas statue last night.  When asked about it, Super Fire Dragon said, "We might not have any powers, but we still can administer justice."  The dragon was refferring to the beat-down the NCSoft CEO recieve from several heroes there.  Even though no super powers were used, heroes were slapping and smacking the executive.  There were even a couple digging holes around him, and throwing the dirt on him.  The NCSoft CEO was quoted as saying, "Why didn't you buy GW2?"

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