Improbable Corporations That Should Buy CoH

[Paragon Avenger]

Goodyear Tire & Rubber Company,

Yeah, we'll bring back City of Heroes for you, complete with lots of rubber-banding.

[Paragon Avenger]

AAA Auto Club,

We have helped millions of motorists out of difficult situations, you might say that we are their heroes.
So we would be more than happy to bring back City of Heroes and ...

Is that true?
Ladies and Gentlemen I have just been informed that the players of City of Heroes, so called, do NOT have vehicles.
The heroes relie on flying, jumping, running or teleporting to get around.
Well, we want no part of a world without cars, thank you.

[Paragon Avenger]

Oral B,

Superheroes need to oral hygene while knocking the baddies teeth out.
So look for the name, look for the game!

Oral-B

[Floride]

Mandela

Then everyone will swear the game went offline only to find it's been live the entire time.

[Paragon Avenger]

Major League Baseball -

Maybe then we can at least get to first-base trying to get City of Heroes back.

[Tubbius]

Meat Loaf.

The man knows about epic rock 'n' roll.  He should know about about an epic video game.

[Paragon Avenger]

North Korean -

Whatever South can do, we can do better.
(of course that means that after some many years, they too will shut it down.)

[Paragon Avenger]

Meat Loaf.

The man knows about epic rock 'n' roll.  He should know about about an epic video game.

I remember some Saturday while playing COH, some toon pretending to be a doctor boardcast that "Video games are bad for one's health."
I responded by reminding everyone that this was a Massively Multi-player On-line Role Playing game, not a video game.
They all laughed

[Paragon Avenger]

Santa Claus, Inc.

It would be the perfect gift.

[Paragon Avenger]

Whatever company makes computer mice and keyboards;

They would make a fortune equipping us players.  I know that I would wear out these items.
And a friend of mine used to show his frustration with the game by beating the snot out of his keyboard and/or mouse.

[Van Allen]

They would make a fortune equipping us players.  I know that I would wear out these items.
And a friend of mine used to show his frustration with the game by beating the snot out of his keyboard and/or mouse.

I'm not hijacking this thread topic.  What I've wanted for years in gaming equipment, keyboards, mice, game controllers..., made of Nerf-like/rubber? material so when you reach THAT-POINT! you can throw it at the wall, out the window, use a hammer, fists, your buddy, etc... as hard as you can and no damage to anything.

OK resume topic   :D

[Paragon Avenger]

Foxcomm,

According to the news they are building a manufacturing plant in the U.S.A., so why not buy NCSoft while you're at it.

[Paragon Avenger]

Dave Ramsey,

He could buy the game and tweak it a little here and there.  For Example, the new name would be:
Dave Ramsey's City of Debt-Free Heroes, and Dave Ramsey's City of Evil Credit Card Villains.

[Paragon Avenger]

Dave Ramsey buys CoX ...

The Lost would be renamed the 'Normal People'.

Heroic Bank Missions will be to shut-down the lending department.

The way to win the game is to be high-level with tons of influence.

[Paragon Avenger]

E3 Spark Plugs, "Born to Burn";

Yes, we will purchase City of Heroes, but with the following changes:
The only travel power, super speed.
All powers will be fire based.
There will be special NASCAR weekend events.

[Nightraptor]

Hi I'm Elon Musk

I'm shooting cars into space, outfitting people with flame-throwers, planning for Mars bases and researching direct neural interfaces to computers.
If this doesn't scream major super-villain I don't know what does.
Will a personal cheque do?

[Paragon Avenger]

Avon buys CoH,

The following changes have been made:

• There are a whole bunch more makeup options instead of makeup1 and makeup2.
• Part of every mission involves door-to-door sales
• When you level, you throw a party, yes an avon party
• All the heroes and villains smell good
• All the contacts try to sell you product

[Paragon Avenger]

The DMV has purchased City of Heroes in an attempt to boost revenues.

The following changes have been made:

• There is a waiting line to get missions
• Street sweeoing requires a tough to get license, like a CDL, only endorsement: DA for Defeat All
• There is a charge of $10 for leveling
• You must bring 3 pieces of approved photo ID to run your character
• Badge hunting must be scheduled 24 hours in advance and the proper forms filed
• Farming is a different department
• Power-leveling is strictly forbidden, and can result in fines, prison or both
• No more holiday events, instead the game will be closed for holidays
• Teams must be approved, and nobody can quit the team without prior authorization
• Using Cash to pay incurrs an additional fee
• Using a personal check incurrs an additional fee
• They are not setup for credit or debit cards

[Paragon Avenger]

Champions Online,

We can do wonders for City of Heroes.  Like ...
Street instances that quickly reset for the next player.
Comic book looking graphics.
PvP made easy.
Teaming made difficult.
Taskforces?  What's that?
Alerts, alerts, alerts.
A confusing money system.

[Paragon Avenger]

molotov cocktails,

We can really heat-up Paragon City.