Improbable Corporations That Should Buy CoH

[Paragon Avenger]

Pepper Potts,

She has wisely invested in Stark Industries and Wayne Industries.  She is now worth more than Richie Rich, but no where near Scrooge McDuck.  She can easily afford it.

[Paragon Avenger]

Richie Rich,

He wanted to try it out, he had heard so many great things about it, so he bought it from NCSoft and hired CodeWalker et al to run and maintain the game.  The Paragon Avenger was put in for Statesman.

[Paragon Avenger]

Scooge,

Blah, hum-bug, to all other MMO's!

[Tubbius]

Scooge,

Blah, hum-bug, to all other MMO's!

Ebenezer, or McDuck?

[Paragon Avenger]

Now that Scrooge has purchased City of Heroes,

There are a few changes:

• No more silly free-to-play non-sense
• Pay to play
• Pay to win
• Heck, pay to get a mission
• There is now a 5% surcharge on everything
• No more free gifts, humming in the streets
• Yes, pay to click
• Pay to level
• And killer interest
• Usery, ha more like Uberary
• Pay to stand around dancing
• All emotes cost money
• Pay to lose, even
• Some of us would still want to play

[Paragon Avenger]

Comquat Growers Association of America:

Did you read the latest Fake News?  That's why.

[Power Gamer]

Umbrella Corporation

But they are taking a rain check

[Carnada]

Has anyone checked with WayneTech?

[Power Gamer]

Society for Circular Arguments

[Paragon Avenger]

Society for Circular Arguments

Why should they buy it?
Because they are going to buy it.

[Paragon Avenger]

Stark Industries was all set to buy City of heroes, but at the last minute, Tony changed the company to a retail furniture chain.  That man has got to stay out of caves.

[Paragon Avenger]

Acme Labs,

They can fool Pinky and The Brain into taking over Paragon City as an expriment in behavioral science.  It's brillant!

[Paragon Avenger]

Baldwin Piano;

We could make City of Heroes the Steinway of MMO's.

I crack me up.  (that's one)

[Paragon Avenger]

Rubbermaid,

No game is made like City of Heroes.

[Paragon Avenger]

Paragon Transit Authority,

In a clever attempt to stir up ridership, the PTA has purchased the game City of Heroes in which it is the transportation system.  When asked for comment, a PTA offical who didn't wish to be identified said, "Just because we only exist inside an MMO that has been shut-down for over 4 years, is no reason why we can't step-in, save the day, and buy the thing."

[Paragon Avenger]

Staples,

There would be a new button in your nav window.  The button would appear at certain times, just like the blue exit button would appear at mission end.  This new button will be red and say, "Easy" in friendly white letters.  Whenever things seemed too difficult for the player, the "Easy" button would appear.  When clicked, it would take the difficulty setting down a notch or three and maybe even lower the level of the enemy some.

[Paragon Avenger]

The Sunglass Hut.

Yup, this multi-billion dollar franchise-only company has been secretly amassing an arsenal of ready cash to purchase weak MMO companies like NCSoft that are poorly run and mismanaged.  The Sunglass Hut promises few changes to the game with the slight exception that ALL NPC's will be wearing Sunglasses.

[Paragon Avenger]

The Paragon Avenger,

Who else has more to gain from avenging a game set in Paragon City?

[Paragon Avenger]

NesTea,

Seeking to branch out into the online-gaming industry, NesTea has purchased City of Heroes from NCSoft for an undisclosed amount of influence, even more than 10,000i.  NesTea will re-launch the game soon^TM and plans only minor changes.  Like Enriche will be replaced with NesTea.  All the billboards will feature NesTea advertisments, and the drink emote and teabag emote will feature NesTea.

Personal note, I don't care if my characters' costumes said 'NesTea' all over them, I would still play City of Heroes.

[Paragon Avenger]

The IRS,

I just finished filing my taxes, they can afford to buy it.