I really just sit down and let myself actually realize CoX is really gone.
No more jumping on random teams and doing random radio missions for hours on end and getting to know the members of your team, even if your going to forget them 10 mins later. One thing for me that every other MMO is missing is the ability to not have to follow some generic story and just jump into some random mission and have fun with complete strangers, and by the time the team breaks up you feel like you really get to know them. I have as of yet not found that experience anywhere else.
The worst part of it is, when something was wrong I could lose myself in CoX like many people have already said. But right now, I need to lose myself to forget about CoX but I can't go to CoX to forget about CoX now can I? All that leaves is letting myself get lost in hating the ones who took it away, just let the anger fester... I cannot and will not ever forget about it. Because every time I feel the need to just forget about everything I'm going to think about CoX and then think about how much I hate... them...
Anyway felt like I needed to let that all out, it helped a little knowing that all those strangers can still hear me even if they can't see my chars.
Take care everyone.
Yeah the irony of what you identify as the worst part is its truth: I can't play CoX to get over losing CoX. No doubt in a few hours I'll think of some of other favorite aspect of
City of Heroes but one of the things I always liked best and which is not norm in the few other MMO's I've tried is the way people would buff one another in passing, on the street, at the train stations, at the Auction House, in Ouroboros, sometimes saying Thanks, but often not--after all these were superheroes dashing to a mission. Laugh with me, if you will, at my Noobish self on my earliest toon, a dark defender vampire, in Wents, suddenly bursting into flame when hit with pre-custom colorization i.e. original Thermal Radiation buffs. I was erroneously convinced my character had caught on fire, and that I'd perhaps exceeded some time limit at the Auction House. I promptly logged and phoned my friend who had a good laugh, told to me what had happened and to click one of the little UI arrows so I could see all the buffs and debuffs on my character. (I hope this recollection is as amusing for you as it is for me; sorry for the digression.)
Sure, many of the buffs didn't last long, fading before or not long after one zoned into a mission. Maybe some did it, hoping to get buffed in return, but most did it (imo) simply because in-game they did have the power to do something nice and because potentially even that little something might make a positive difference, and in some instances, it did.
I process my emotions at different levels and at different speeds. I'm still angy with NCSoft. Why wouldn't I be? They hurt me and not only didn't prevent the injury, inflicted it. Beyond disappointed, I felt contempt for their inept handling of their valued clients, us. I didn't encounter Rage until I witnessed the emtional impact this had on my sgmates and friends, and every server community. I discovered not only rage but a really dark ugly anger wilth exasperation over my inability to stop it as an extra layer of yuck. I had to let myself go thru the Sad part, really very much like attending a funeral. Maybe it's not that way for you at all. I know in myself Sorrow can sometimes convert into Anger, and I recall being angry at the first funeral service I attended, as well as shocked, because it all seemed so avoidable.
That they thought so little of us by first failing to anticipate and plan for how their CoH customer would feel about this, and sternly rebuffed our outcry and potests to Save CoH, could be taken that the CEO and execs in on this decision and its implementation are exactly the selfish persons one might imagine; that it's all about them, with the only attention to "customer care" devoted to legal minimums in refunds etc. and not nearly enough to customer satisfaction and little to no understanding or genuine human caring for MMO communities. There were and still are a number of ways NCSoft could rectify this and at least partially redeem themselves, though I think they lack the enlightened self-interest to see it.
There is absolutely no reason not to feel PO'ed by this and to hate NCSoft. The only reason I can think of is to not give them the satisfaction - soon they will no longer earn much more than my contempt; merely be that stupid gaming company that made that awful decision - and my other reason is personal.
Me, I've been dealing with sorrow and anger, trying to turn down the volume on those feelings not by squelching but by letting them out (I hope safely.) I'm hoping to feel a whole lot better soon, but am equally hoping whatever leftover negative feelings I do have get channeled into constructive ways to get CoH rezzed. I'm hoping that my resolve will prove to be as implacable as NCSoft's "sunset" of
City of Heroes because I'd like our
City to have another day in the sun.
As you can see I like that quote from Gandhi, but here's another I like:
"In every generation there must be some fool willing to speak the truth as he sees it." Boris Pasternak. Thanks for letting me speak my mind.
PS. those execs at NCSoft are idiots. Billions are spent each year trying to get us to like various products. (Remember Cola Wars?) The attachment we "mere customers" have for the specific
City of Heroes brand is an advertiser's pancake dream.