WALL OF TEXT which I know means most people won't read, but I'm writing more for myself than for you, so skip it if you don't like reading.
Contrary to Nyx, I Do have an unfilled void in my life now. I can remember many, many years ago seeing CoH advertised and thinking how cool that would be, but paying to play a game has always been against my better judgment as money is hard to come by and shouldn't be wasted on non essentials. If I had only known then... It wasn't until I saw in an online community mention of CoH being free to play that I dived in. And it was that... nothing near my normal toe testing the waters and checking the deep end first (Jaws). Within a week I was paying to play. And I don't know how to express what a huge deal that is for me, so please do your courtesy gawking here. Thanks, looks believable, I can see you understand what I'm saying.
Some people here mention how they feel silly crying over pixels. Take heart that you weren't telling everyone in your real life that you could now fly when you first started playing CoH, because that's exactly what I did. I didn't care about the looks or what people might think, because now I had to maintain my secret identity and be mild mannered, so of course they wouldn't believe me when I said I can fly now!
It was eleven months that I got to play. I'm a solo guy, and was very cautious of other people in game due to the stories I'd heard about the WoW community. But as luck would have it, and as we all know, the CoX community is amazing. After the first month I had some really fun people to dork around with and that's when I met some of the experts. And not just normal experts. Specifically my teacher, with the toons that when new people teamed with us they would all stand there in awe as Malta and Freaks and the rest were instantly annihilated without mercy, all while the toon was looking exceptionally fabulous! It was like an off screen cue card holder was giving the new to the team people their lines because it was always the same thing: "Holy Sh*t!"
Oddly enough, my main teacher is the worst at communicating. One person, understanding what I was talking about, said you have to learn the language to communicate with him. For a long time I thought maybe he just hated me! He didn't. I just hadn't learned his language yet.
Despite the many people that I played with who had what I call Supertoons, he still had a unique-to-most play style. I watched him do it for weeks without understanding it, but when he finally explained it made so much sense. Though some of his toons just devastated mobs before anyone else could get there, the same principle was used in teaming. What his teachers had taught him and he knew for himself was that tanks are for aggro, so the tank runs around and gathers while everyone else watches from a distance. Then, when the tank stops moving he's out of the line of sight of the foes so even ranged guys come in and he is mobbed, the team moves in and AoE's them all in seconds, and then it's on to the next area. Once I understood what I was seeing because it was explained to me, it was so obvious! After that going back to the normal team experience of simultaneous multiple one on one combats of team members and foes all spread out just seemed tedious and silly and looked so messy! I just can't get over the differences in the two play styles. And yes, many of you know this, but so many really good players just never did this and it's really night oranges and day apples different. This was when I finally understood why he didn't explain to new-to-team players what was going on. His thought was people should pick it up from observation. Mine was, like me, explain it so we're all on the same page, so I became the narrator usually. We learned a lot from each other and I am happy to say we still email occasionally, usually about what game doesn't stand up to our expectations in our search for the next MMO.
I say it's odd that he's so bad about communicating because when I first met him, we spent several hours standing in Wentworths as he patiently explained the whole thing to me. This is when the game finally started to make a bit of sense to me. I still couldn't build a toon, but I knew what things were now and what my goals would be.
I grew up on Marvel Comics. I'm lost in that world and don't want to be found. All I wanted to do when I first saw CoH was be a hero and fly. I had no idea how complicated MMO's were and was not at all prepared. I was overwhelmed and a not too bright noob and this guy just wasted his time, hours of it, to help me out. Through him I met other "Supers" and finally got one of them to map out a MIDS build for a tank I'd started playing as Dual Blades/Fire. I know. Many will think I should have made it on my own. But for me, true understanding of the system came from referencing that build and branching off from the guidelines I pieced together every time some one spit out a pearl of wisdom which I would copy, paste, and save for later reference. I never actually simulated the build that was given to me entirely, I was a bit scattered with my many toons. But I managed to keep what I liked while doing what I would have never done but was guided to do, and wound up with a, though Fire specific, Supertoon! My bread winner to support my bad habit of blasters and too many other toons. My teacher helped me with my next one, a "world tank" rather than a fire specific so I could play more freely I guess. He helped me as I leveled him up. It was a different experience than the first one because it was easy for him to understand the builds in his head, whereas I need a map to reference over and over. So I had pages and pages of notes! The end result, though I still needed to get all the recipes and slot him properly, was a very fun Axe/Shield tank. Now I could play and not get killed All the time. My first three toons were blasters, still my favorite type, and tanking would have been my last choice. But City of Hospitals was not as fun for me as a blaster, so they were moved to the back for a while during my education. Later I was able to play them more properly using what I'd learned about building toons and playing the game. And nicely enough, I found out tanking is fun too.
That site where I found out CoH was free to play; I had 100+ avatars. Characters of my own creation, favorite characters from more obscure sci-fi books, and some other sources. All very real in my mind. I've not been able to go back and enjoy that site still. It holds no appeal to me, as was the case for a while before I left.
At CoH, when I found I could have toons on each server, I started populating other servers since Victory was full. In eleven months I had 44 active established toons, and 25 or so more waiting for power set purchases or me to just have the time to start them up. I was really looking forward to one of my early original toons getting to be a Beast Master/Nature's Affinity mastermind! It was the perfect set choices for his look and story. The character creator was frustrating to me because of it's limitations. (Yes, I know what you're thinking. This is how I am. Imagine what I'm going through now without CoH!)
I spent hours making my first toon. Many hours. I was quite happy with him. I changed boots and gloves after a month or so. That was all. He got duplicated with different power sets on other servers a couple of times with Circle Of Thorns costume pieces, but he basically only had minor changes.
I was passing through Ouoroboros once. One of my favorite spots. Most of my toons are there still, as I decided it was the most appropriate place to say goodbye to them. Anyway, I noticed a cool looking toon and complimented him on it. The guy thanked me for the comment and then proceeded to tell me he had seen me around for a while and his toon was inspired by mine. Wow! That was the best compliment I've ever gotten! Good way to make it on to my friends list!
All of my toons were the same way in that I never had any use for costume slots because I spent hours, days, weeks, and more getting them just right for my tastes. Once I had them done, there wasn't ever any improvement I could find to make on them. I experienced a humble pride every time someone would stop to compliment me on one of my toons or their names, which was a semi-regular occurrence. Several times the compliment would come after many missions with a person then out of nowhere they would say something. Perhaps that's what people do, but for me, I don't say something to someone unless I consider it exceptional and genuinely feel what I'm saying. Similarly, I only used SG Bases for my toons on a server. The design was a simple four rooms all for storage and crafting, purely for function only. It surprised me every time someone came into my base and despite all the bases out there and all the people that have made them I would still be told my approach was cool and unique and had never occurred to them. Then I'd bake them brownies!
As it turns out, for the original characters I made that were new to me rather than already existing in my mind, the hours spent in creation provided the time and inspiration for names, origin stories, character development (duh - but you know what I mean) and so on. In other words, the process of creating was usually accompanied by watching these people develop as real-in-my-mind people. So on one hand I'm creating, and on the other I'm actually viewing it happening as a spectator who is removed from it. If that makes sense.
Well, it makes sense to me, and not long ago, it occurred to me that this is the key to why CoH is missed. I'm sure many have already figured this out, and I know what I disliked most about NoCompassionSoft taking our world away was taking my toons from me, but maybe I've rediscovered this. Yes, I miss my friends. In such a short time I met so many wonderful people and I wish them all well and think of them often. Yes, I miss Ouro, and the Shard, and Talos Island. But what I've realized is more than anything I miss my heros. Not Stan's Spidey or Moon Knight or Superman. MY heroes. Mine. I never cared that I was doing the same missions over and over so much because what was really going on was I was spending time with my heroes who are real to me in a world where our realities juxtaposed.
To me, This is why I miss CoH. To me, this is what the secret of CoH's appeal is and what motivated the community to such (in my limited knowledge) great efforts and response to our loss. This is what I will have to have from any game I choose to pay for in the future. And since most games don't have that, well, I'm back to not spending money on some computer game.
It was worth it though. The escape from daily life and all the crap that I've got going on. The perfect way to wind down and relax and not worry. I can't tell you how therapeutic soloing the Fire Cave in AE was for me. A nice thrill to have the patrols flood around me and my hero. Would we survive!?! It was a thrill every time. And that was a good way to give back to my friends who helped me make my Supertoon, by pl'ing their new toons left at the door while they went to sleep for the night, and of course it was fun if they wanted to join in too.
So how am I handling the loss? The way I handle most of the reality based things that make me sad. Escapism. I've caught up on my movies and videos. Currently working my way through seven seasons of Mystery Science 3000, along with other stuff. I've finished a couple of Nintendo games I have here. Most of my time recently has been me populating a galaxy in my offline version of Spore. Not too many complaints about that character creator! Heaven would be combining CoH and Spore qualities into the same creator! Oh to dream. But Spore is entertaining though a bit monotonous. And I do a bit of writing! See! Another reason you wish CoH was still around, because I'd be there instead of writing all of this!
Online? Unfortunately, everything gets compared to CoH. I've tried Champions Online and the creator is fun, as long as you don't mind comic book graphics that make it harder to see a real hero, being limited to the base line of costumes if you're not going to buy the one's you want, and a human face that is just off no matter what I do to it. I think it's the mouth and jaw. I'm free to play there, so only have two toons. I guess a good way to put it is they are both still below level 15. I've designed many toons, but even with a life time membership I think you're limited to 8 toons? Likely you can buy more I guess. I won't be buying 50+ more though. And I liked having that freedom of still being able to make plenty more heroes that CoH offered. One friend there had over 100 toons. He used the costume slots as well! That's a lot of creating!
I'm still solo at CO. Actually the first my first community experience there was a person who sent me a team invite out of the blue. I was involved in an area event at the time so figured he was there somewhere too. He never said anything to me, and I was busy with the mission so didn't have time to chat, then a few minutes later all I got was, "Fool," and he was gone. Not the best first impressions for me, a guy who already feels stupid in most computer games of any type, even at an experienced level. I've teamed with a few others. It's nice because it makes me remember my good teaming experiences on CoH. I've tried to connect with the CoH community there, but not hard enough I guess. I do like that there's all kinds of different toons. It's fun to watch them. I wish the graphics were better though. The main things for me are the graphics. I'm kind of attached to the CoH appearance, rather than looking like a two dimensional character moving about in a comic book, which is what CO is to me. And my lack of understanding the game mechanics and systems. I need my patient teachers who are natural experts. So I'm just not inspired to pay to play. Not like I was with CoH. CoH got me paying just on the game alone, before I knew anyone there. You create and you play, level to four and Fly! I wonder if that would be different if I'd not experienced CoH first? I guess I should play it properly, since it's the genre I want and I won't be doing DCUO!
An email told me that now Tera was the game of choice, so I looked into that. It's ok. No wings and I can't fly and standard creators with limited avatar selection and what looks like yet another system to learn. Really after almost a year of having my hand held in CoH I was only just starting to gain any comprehension of what to do. Maybe in a few years I'd be really good at building and slotting a CoH toon. A more recent email seems to show that Tera has failed the test! Ha! I never even found them on there! It's ok for what it is I guess, but I won't pay for it.
Found out about Marvel Heros Beta testing somewhere and signed up for that, and the fools let me in! At least it's Marvel Heroes and has that potential. The story is enjoyable, and my limited experience is pleasant so far, all beta issues aside. However, it fails for me. I know these heroes. Most of them aren't my preference. I usually wound up liking the more obscure characters. Meaning they are less likely to be made into playable characters in the future. And I'm really glad I've not heard, "just like Diablo" for a while because it was getting really annoying and it holds absolutely no meaning for me, having never experienced Diablo, and I'm not really wanting to now. My main issue is obvious I'm sure. And made worse because in a video they addressed the question at a presentation at a NYC comic convention. No creatable characters. Their reasoning: they showed a picture of a guy with three forks taped on one hand and three butter knives taped on the other and said because no one wants to see knife and fork Wolverine. (Immediately part of my mind was thinking, would I make that if I could?) Come on. Really, what kind of stupid lame excuse is that!?! It's the kind of lame excuse, my mind answers, that someone who wants to avoid the question would give! I'm looking at these guys thinking they have a chance at something great here, and they're missing it completely! Kind of like if Coke goes out of business and they start selling fruit drinks. Their second excuse: Loosely quoted - "because seeing nine Iron Mans running around blasting bad guys is 'kind of cool!'" Ugh! No. No Marvel Heroes. No it isn't. It's bloody confusing and bland and lame and weak and AAARRRGGGHHH!!!! And, what they call flying is not flying. I typed that loudly and will leave it at that (except that they seem to think it's out of this world). Good points. Cut scenes have voice overs for weak but passable static comic book pictures. Heroes have voiced comments that cue on proximitiy to specific other heroes or specific situations like leveling or finding a medal or standing idle. I really never understood how CoH could have missed out on having these basics. No one knows, but I used to do my own voice overs for the CoH cut scenes!
Marvel Heroes is fine for the standard player that has a limited imagination and has never known or wanted more. Then again, the majority of the populations don't like to do their own thinking do they? I don't mind too much the awkward point of perspective, but I do mind not being able to get a first person perspective. The game is challenging at times but at the same time manageable for a bad player like me. Sadly, the best part of the game is it is/will be free to play. This is good because I won't be paying to play it. Too bad for me that I will not be spending money to get a specific character to play. The game isn't that good. It goes back to wasting money on frugal things. The fact that I won't be buying a character I like will mean I'll probably not be playing it so much as I might. I think the sole drive that will keep this game interesting to people who want to pay for it will be in putting out new playable heroes. Though it is really nice to recognize places, characters, and things one may know from knowledge of the Marvel universes, I don't see that it has a long life expectancy.
So I'm here on Titan again. Trying to find a spark of hope that the two projects by players-for players to make a (better than) CoX is really going to happen, and will it happen before I die?
Okay, I found this site and registered.. glad to see I'm not the only one.
I felt a little loss when the game shut down.. didn't think it would really bother me in that I wasn't playing as often these days.
But I actually got pretty sad when I parked my little Taxibot on top of Wincott's car one last time before my final logout.
Lots of fun and memories, and hard work put into those toons. So stupid that I was feeling melancholy over some pixels.
So I shook it off, dusted off WoW.. hated it. Went to SWTOR, made a 50 and got bored..
GW2.. fun but not the same.
Then it hit me, it wasn't ever so much the game. It was the people and the freedom that game offered.
It's pretty sad and pathetic really. I do have a real life.. but at the end of the day I want to sit down and relax. CoX was how I did that.
I really miss this game, and I'm not finding another game that fills that void. It really sucks, I want CoX back. I really missed playing with all of you.
I'm like Starship above me here. I could have posted with just his final two paragraphs and left it at that. Only I express a lot. My sense of loss is profound and I got very sad, and angry, and so on and I still deal with these reactions months later now.
I don't feel that Starship or I or anyone was stupid to feel our emotions because in our reality these characters did exist as our selves, our friends, our companions, and our heroes.
I'll never knowingly help NoCompassionSoft with any support from my wallet or opinions. I'll actually go out of my way to denounce them if I get the chance and anyone cares to listen. Their track record is warning enough given what is on wiki about them, and their blatant disregard for their customers solidifies my resolve in this. I won't even look at GW2 for free to play. I'm ok with cutting off my nose to spite my face here if that's what I'm doing. It's challenging for me to dislike something that I want to hate instead. I try to avoid hating. It's a lot of effort to not write to NoCompassionSoft and tell them what I really think about them for doing this, foul language included.
I'd pay twice as much and more to be able to keep playing CoH. My friends say they understand that I miss the game. They watched me experience it and had to sit through me blabbing on about it. I trust them when they say they have an idea of how important CoH has been to me. My personal life is full of crap. CoH quickly became my therapeutic escape.
I miss my friends. I miss teaming. I miss the community. I miss mauling Sappers with vengeance. I miss laughing every single time I jumped off the edge of the platform at Ouroboros to free fall and land in the pool! I did that a lot! I miss the game itself. And yes, I miss my heroes. I don't miss it any less than I did before. I want it back. Now.
I'm still waiting and watching. I haven't forgotten. I'll be there to beta test our new home if they'll have me for that. Please, anyone with anything they think I should be aware of in regards to this quote me or message me some how if possible so I can know where to watch.