"Do you see any Teletubbies here? Do you see a slender plastic tag clipped to my shirt with my name on it? Did you see a little Asian child with a blank expression sitting outside in a mechanical helicopter that shakes when you put quarters in it? No? Well, that's what you'd see at a toy store. And you must think you you're in a toy store, because you're here shopping for an infant named Jeb. Now, one of us has made a gross error, and wasted the other person's valuable time. This is an art gallery, my friend, and this is a piece of art."
Elijah Price to David Dunn in Unbreakable. Loved that movie!
EDIT: Whoops! Elijah is NOT speaking to David Dunn in the above quote - he's speaking to a customer (unnamed) who was seriously going to buy that as a "Poster" for his son who'd likely tear it up.
Here's a new one:
Agent 1: "Is there a Renaissance Fair in town?"
Agent 2: "Call it in."
Agent 1: "Yeah. Uh, base, we've got, uh, Xena, Jackie Chan, and Robin Hood."