Author Topic: The Corner Store  (Read 47760 times)

Paragon Avenger

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #120 on: September 12, 2018, 03:11:58 AM »
"I need size 2XL adult diapers, and 3 cans of Monster."  A customer stated.
"Ok."  Healix said reaching for the items.
"Up-sell, deary, remember, up-sell"  Kolissa reminded.
"Oh, right, boss."  Healix said to Kolissa.
"Do you want fries with that?"  Healix asked the customer.

They all laughed.

Paragon Avenger

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #121 on: September 21, 2018, 02:27:37 AM »
"Service with a smile.  Be friendly, helpful and cheerful or so help me, I'll break every bone in your body, deary."  Kolissa instructed.
"Yes, boss"  Healix grovelled.  Healix feared her new boss.  She believed her capable of inflecting great harm upon her person for the slightest imperfection.

Just then a customer wandered in off the street.
"Hello, anybody here?  I want to buy 3 double A batteries, and a feather duster."
"Yes, I am here to please you.  What do you want?"  Healix offered.
"Yes, 2 pints of green paint, 3 boxes of deck screws, a parrot, 3 double A batteries, a feather duster and this month's issue of Pants-less Supers."

"Remember, be friendly."  Kolissa's words echoed in Healix's head.
"You might need some beef jerky with that?"  Healix asked.
"Right, I almost forgot."

They all laughed.

Paragon Avenger

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #122 on: October 04, 2018, 03:56:48 AM »
"Hello, hello, who's in charge here?"  A voice shouted.
"Yes, deary, I'm in-charge here."  Kolissa cooed.
"So you're the boss?"

"Yes"
"Have you ever heard of the Store Clerk's union?"
"Nope."  Kolissa replied.

"Well the working conditions here are apalling, a palling."
"Thank you for noticing."
"If things don't improve, we will call a strike."

"Yes, and I get to hire all new employees and pay them less because they are less exprienced."
"Nevermind."
"And they won't be able to afford union dues."  Kolissa added.

"You don't have to rub it in."

They all laughed.

Paragon Avenger

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #123 on: October 07, 2018, 07:23:39 AM »
"Excuse me,are these adult diapers for for men or women?"
"Whichever."  Kolissa replied not really wanting to interact with customers, but she agreed to watch the store while Healix used the litterbox.
"Well you know, some adult diapers for women don't work so well for us guys."
"Why is that?"  Kolissa asked barely interested.
"Well, when I get excited and have to make yellow water, I'm pointed up."

"Ok, too much information."
"I need to know if these have padding in the right areas."
"Ok here's the deal, buy the stupid box or taste the power of Arachnos."  Kolissa demanded.
"Alright, but if these leak, let it be on your head."
Kolissa fired her wrist dart-gun, and the man fell to the floor.  Losing control of his bodily functions, he made a puddle on the floor.

"Oh, I guess those aren't for men afterall."  Kolissa commented.
They all laughed.

Paragon Avenger

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #124 on: October 25, 2018, 02:31:22 AM »
"Healix!"
"On my way, my queen."  Healix replied.
"Ok, here's the deal."
"I'm listening."
"You deal with the customers, I sit in the back and count my money."
"Deal."

They all laughed.

Paragon Avenger

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #125 on: November 01, 2018, 02:38:12 AM »
"My queen, I really hate to disturb your afternoon nap, but there's a guy out front who wants to see the manager.  I tried putting on a disguise and changing my voice, but this guy's sharp."  Healix explained.
Kolissa arose from her beauty sleep.  She remove the blindfold she wears to block out light while snoozing.  After a short cat like stretch she spoke.
"Ok, I'll take care of him."  And as she strated towards the door leading to the sales area of the store, she gave a quick turn and shot Healix with her wrist mounted dartgun.

"Thank you."  Healix groaned as she fell to the floor.
"Now what seems to be the trouble, dsary?"  Kolissa cooed at the distraught customer.
"I want to return these sex toys, they don't work."
"Let me see them.  Oh the model SUX-9000 penial enlarger.  That's our best seller."
"Well it's a piece of junk if you ask me."
"What's wrong with it?"  Kolissa asked.

"This!"  The man said as he stepped back from the counter.
"Oh my, what do you have in your pocket?"
"That's not my pocket, that's me!"
"Yikes, how did you fit through the door?"  Kolissa asked.
"I backed in."
"Ok, we'll refund your 19.95i minus a 5% re-stocking fee and minus a returns surcharge."

"Good, so how much am I getting back?"
"Let's see carry the 2, where's Super Fire Dragon when you need math done?  It looks like 10i."  Kolissa answered.
"Well, I guess I'll take it."
"No you don't understand?"
"What's to understand, now give me my 10i."
"No, you have to pay 10i to return that item."  Kolissa said with a smile.

They all laughed.

Paragon Avenger

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #126 on: November 25, 2018, 11:49:53 PM »
"Healix!  You worthless waste of skin!"  Kolissa shouted.
"Yes my queen."  Healix said hoping to not get shot by another dart from her wrist dartgun.  Those things sting.
"Look at this mess!"
"What?"
"I want the merchandise arranged in packaging color order."  Kolissa demanded.

"But won't that make it more difficult for customers to find what they are looking for?"
"Exactly."
"But why?"
"If they can't find what they are looking for, they will ask you, simpleton!"  Kolissa replied.
"Yeah, I still don't understand."

"When they ask for something, you can steer them towards the high-end goods."  Kolissa explained.
"But I will spend all day helping customers find things.  Wouldn't that cause long lines at the check-out?"
"Of course, making it look like we are busier than we actually are.  Thus driving up sales.  It's brillant."
"I don't know about this, to be honest."
"And the shelves will look so much more colorful.  It's win-win-win-lose for the cheap customers."

They all laughed.





Paragon Avenger

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #127 on: January 16, 2019, 03:07:13 AM »
"I worship the ground you walk on, but this seems like too much."  Healix said pleading.
"Non-sense, customers love furry animals."  Kolissa replied.
"But why must I wear the ferret costum?"  Healix asked.
"You don't expect me to wear that stupid thing do you?"
"Why, No..."
"I wouldn'tbe caught dead in that hedious thing."
"Of course, but..."
"Somebody has to be the Ferret."
"Well yes, but..."
"Congrats, you've been elected."
"Gee, thanks."  Healix responded.

They all laughed, except Healix.

healix

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #128 on: March 17, 2019, 11:36:06 PM »
"Boss, I will be a little late for work today. I am at the hospital getting treatment for the EXTREME HEAT RASH ON MY BUTT from that stoopid ferret costume."
*picks fake fur out of belly button*

Listen to the 'mustn'ts'. Listen to the 'don'ts'. Listen to the 'shouldn'ts', the 'impossibles', the 'won'ts'. Listen to the 'you'll never haves', then listen close to me... Anything can happen . Anything can be.

Paragon Avenger

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #129 on: March 25, 2019, 04:19:17 PM »
"Maybe I should have paid the extra dollar and a half for the ferret costume made with better materials?"  Kolissa pondered out loud.
"Nah, this store can't afford such extravagances."  Kolissa answered herself.

Paragon Avenger

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #130 on: April 22, 2019, 02:11:24 AM »
"Healix, get in here, now!"  Kolissa shouted angiily.
"Great what did I do now?"  Healix thought as she scurried to the boss's office.
"We are going to go all out for Memorial Day."  Kolissa beamed as Healix entere.
"Yes, boss."  Healix said feeling the joy.

"Flags, banners, streamers, ballons, the whole shabang."
"Great, when do we start?"
"As soon as you take off that riducolous ferret costum."
"But you said ..."  Healix suddently remembered that she was aruging to keep wearing a costum she hated.

"And bring me some coffee, Grantville has the best."
They all laughed.

Paragon Avenger

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Re: The Corner Store
« Reply #131 on: May 15, 2019, 05:20:41 AM »
"I go to Granville for a decent cup of coffee, and this happens."  Healix said as she entered the corner store.

Everywhere she looked, red and black Arachnos flags, banners, streamers.  The whole shabang.
"I started decorating without you.  It looks homey don't you think?"  Kolissa smiled.
Healix nearly blurted out something that would have gotten her fired, or worse.
"I don't know what to say."  Healix replied in shock.
"I can't decide where to put the statue of Lord Recluse."  Kolissa puzzled.

"Lord Recluse?"  Healix asked sheepishly.
"You might be right, Lord Recluse is too much for this neighborhood."
"Yeah, I'm sure you right, boss."  Healix said feeling a sigh of relief.
"But next year, look out!"

They all laughed, except the Lord Recluse statue.