The WACKIEST Personal Bios! (WARNING - IMAGE HEAVY)

[johnrobey]

I had a lot of fun writing this bio for Mrs Frostfire (my first toon on Justice) and even more fun roleplaying her:

Alright, all you so-called Heroes who've been beating up my husband. All he wanted to do was build a nice home for me & the children in an abandoned building that no one except the Skulls cared about in a desolate corner of the Hollows. But was that good enough for y'all? NO! Mr. Flux had to stick his big nose in where it isn't wanted. And NOW instead of baking cookies & freezing popsicles, I have to put the kids in daycare. Guess I'll be home-schooling them soon on Breaking Pappa Out of Jail. What?! Does it look like I had time to find a proper uniform or outfit, much less bother to put on make-up for a job interview with Arachnos? I'm lucky these clothes are clean. You wanna piece of me, Superhero? Go ahead! Make my day!!

(sorry, no screenshot yet)

[johnrobey]

(I gotta find the screenie of  Cow Wahbunga on his RocketBoard); his bio read:

Born and raised near the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, Cow soon learned his mutation set him apart from the rest of the herd. Rescued by P.E.T.A. and mentored by a couple of magical chickens and a psychic dog, he set off to find Old Farmer McTera and join her barnyard friends in fighting the forces of evil, especially hamburger.  Now he protects and defends the hapless citizens of Paragon City except those eating beef products. Ladies, don't let them STEER you wrong. Those rumors are pure BULL!

[pyber]

And then this guy... Mc Archvillain- the first crazy costume I encountered as a baby ninja back when I was on Guardian (no bio but still wacky)

Ha, I remember him.  He won more than a few costume contests on that toon, and on some others as well.  I can't remember his Global now though.  :\

[pinballdave]

We must never forget SingSangSong, but I don't see how to embed the image here.

http://brbbio.blogspot.com/2009/01/sing-sang-song.html

[houtex]

I really liked The Devil's Accountant.  THAT is hilarious, and I'm terribly jealous I didn't think of it.  Probably because I was too busy with Brawling Humiliator to do that myself.   Play the game the way it *wasn't* meant to be played?  That's fun!

Lotta great stuff in here though, seriously.  Plenty LOLs.

---

I'm not sure self promoting is all that acceptable... But I'll submit a couple of mine that I personally smile for for y'alls (dis)approval.  I hope that's ok, I just wanna share:
 
 
Jerry the Deathclown (Stalker, tall, thin clown with red and yellow stripes, and a green eyeplate.  Creepy lookin', and I can't find a screenie. )
Jerrold Thompson was obsessed with being a clown. It's all he ever wanted. He read, watched videos, anything clown! But then he started using his mother's makeup to paint his face. She tried to make him stop, but he wouldn't. She stopped buying the makeup, but no matter, Jerry just went to the store himself. They wouldn't help me... I mean, Jerry. It was when Jerry started to yell "MAKE ME LIKE TAMMY FAYE!!!" that it started to go sour. Jerry was interviewed by some men in white coats. Next thing I ... he knows he's put in a strange jacket thing and taken away! They stole him, and took my makeup away. Jerry swore they'd PAY for that, but they weren't there when he broke out. Oh well, I'll just go find someone, make THEM pay. I mean Jerry. What? You're not laughing at me are you? Good. Hey, lemme show you my nifty gloves. They channel dark energy, so people can PAY... you don't have any rouge on you do you? Gotta touch up my face...


Also:
 
Thing of Bigness (Take whatever the biggest costume part is, and apply it.  Color it red.  That's it. )
Me am Big. Me not know how, but me here somehow. Me like bash things, so me do dat. Me get monies from bashes an' buy punkin head. You like? Me like. Me always look biggest tings to wear, 'cause me Big, an' me wear big too. Me like bigness. Also flamey head. It niftys. Me also jump big too. Me also gots bigs sack lots monies. Me play market like piano. Onlies biggers. I heared somethin' call Dested Wans, and dat sounded bigs. Hears if you Dested, you gots make lots Eckspee, whatevers dat is. Alls me knows is to got Dested took lotsa bashin'. When me found self on Rowg Eyles, Eckspees was easy gets, an' lots dingdongs happen. Me got olders, dingdongs longers to hear. That ok, me also big energies, so no tired much. They say I be Made, but it not all dat. Latlies, me tired be scare peoples, so me go Rowg. Peoples still scare, so maybe me go Viggelanty. For sure me get be Enkarnit.
[img width= height=]http://i.imgur.com/NOskJ.jpg[/img]

So... there ya go!
 
Edit: FOUND the screenies!  /em dance5

[Xieveral]

We must never forget SingSangSong, but I don't see how to embed the image here.

http://brbbio.blogspot.com/2009/01/sing-sang-song.html

I can't breathe!

(the button to embed an image is the one between bold and the first smiley)

[Little David]

Man! What server was that on? 'Cause I would've had this guy run into her:

[Atlantea]

Hami-Tan was on Virtue server.

[Perfidus]

I'm a little sad Hellgirl isn't on here! Her bio was so silly, but I guess no one saw me. I'd changed it out very often though. Basically instead of any content, I'd use slogans. I never kept the same ones terribly long, because people would always give me new ones to use. I have a whole text file full. Here's a sample, for the heck of it.

"You've got questions, we've got Hellgirl."
"Hellgirl, the other white meat."
"Don't get mad, get Hellgirl."
"Hellgirl. Nobody pays retail anymore, why should you?"
"Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's Hellgirl!"
"The best part of waking up is Hellgirl in your cup."
"Hellgirl. She's everywhere you want to be."
"Look to the left, you see a sea of blue and strength, look back to me, I'm a Hellgirl."
"Hellgirl: Founded by firemen, and you can taste it."
"Hellgirl. Recommended by doctors, trusted by moms."
"Hellgirl. Dogs don't know it's not bacon."
"No Hellgirl Available."
"404 Hellgirl Not Found"
"Ask not what Hellgirl can do for you, but what you can do for Hellgirl!"
"I'd walk a mile for a Hellgirl."
"What you want is what you get with Hellgirl today."
"Hellgirl, quality is job one."
"Confident, dry, and secure... raise your hand if you're Hellgirl."

Originally, when I made Hellgirl in 2010, I put a batch up just as a joke until I felt like writing a real bio. But, I ended up with so many comments and laughs from people, I kept it indefinitely, and just switched out the slogans from time to time.

She had a Virtueverse too, that I recently heard was in the running for being featured on the mainpage. >.<

[Atlantea]

I love the ones you guys have been posting as well! Those are all great!

I got a few more for you!









Hail to the King, Baby!

[downix]

Hehe, I'd run into Kung-Pao Chicken before!

[johnrobey]

I know who played Mynitaur and will see if he'll post some screenshots.   Humor along with killer powerset combos was his forte:  Hell's Granny (AR/fire manip blaster), Dorkette, and many more.   

[corvus1970]

Okay folks, this one is one of mine, a Psychic-Blast/Energy Blaster:



His Bio (Thank you Sentinel!): Yes, I'm a Gorilla. A Gorilla who can kill you with his brain, or pummel you senseless with his fists. So, I'll thank you to avoid the comments about trees, bananas, and Charlton Heston. 'Kay?

Also, not mine at all:

[Atlantea]

I was pretty much at the end of stuff I had from my personal collection. (though I haven't gone through and dug up and cropped EVERYTHING from the last couple of years, so there may yet be more!)

But I did remember that Ben "Gryphon" Hutchins, the main writer/editor behind the MASSIVE fanfic series "Undocumented Features", also played City of Heroes and was a dab hand at the whimsical bio himself.

So - some links to some of HIS bio pictures that have made me laugh in the past.








Spot the homage and the satire rolled into the same concept on this next one.




And this... I salute you, Gryphon - this is meta-meta-meta genius.

[Minotaur]

That Elvish Presley is excellent, much better costume than I could manage for Elvish Impersonator.

[NoName]

"Man this pizza is better than sex"

[DoctorDelaware]

Oh man. Do I have some unspeakable horrors to unleash on this thread.

[therain93]

In reposting a few to mmorpg.com, here's some from my archives:
 

 

 

 
 
I thought I had another one, this little fairie-like Dual Pistol character that was all "pew-pew" in her description.  It was hilarious and hopefully I can track it down.
 

[corvus1970]

I'm fairly certain I came across that same fairy, but I don't think I capped her bio. Drat!

Man, keep posting these folks. These are pure gold!

[The Fifth Horseman]

I had one... with no idea what to make of my first toon I decided to be funny. And for me, "funny" occasionally relates to very, very BAD memes.
I remembered this: http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_28_what-world-would-look-like-if-other-side-won-war_p15/#14 and remembered the SPARTAN super-soldier program from the Halo universe. What followed was this:

They told us we shouldn't fire any weapons near the tachyon field generators. Pity the Drahn didn't get the same memo. Last thing my suit recorded was a surge of energy coming from the central lab.
 
Next thing I know, I'm stuck here. It's Earth, all right - just not my Earth. The  pivotal difference is when we won at Thermopylae - here, the 300 died trying and nothing is the same after that point. Instead of New Sparta there's a barely sigificant country called Greece. 
 
Frank Miller wrote "300" instead of "10 000". They made a movie too. And after it, nobody holds much respect for Sparta any more. For them, "Sparta" equals "beyond madness". 
 
 Time someone changed this, damn it! I'll teach this world... I'll teach them all... how real Spartans do battle!
 -- Jason-117

(left: initial costume; middle: after running my first ITF and unlocking capes; right: another costume update after moving to the beta server.