Author Topic: How are you handling the loss?  (Read 187344 times)

Sugoi

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #220 on: January 10, 2013, 04:58:56 PM »
SARobb,

You are far from the only one with an attachment (or multiple attachments) to the game.
Your statement brought an old song to mind, which I just had to adjust to fit the occasion.

This filk's for all of us!  Feel free to pass it on!

With apologies to Joni Mitchell's classic 70's song of loss, Big Yellow Taxi.

----------

Big Sunset Window by Sugoi-chan


They closed Paragon
And put up a farewell page
With a Thank You note, a FAQ Link
And a picture of Statesman.

Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you've got
Till it's gone
They closed Paragon
And put up a farewell page

They took all the Heroes
Put 'em in a hero museum
And they ignored the people
Who wanted to fly and to be 'em

Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you've got
Till it's gone
They closed Paragon
And put up a farewell page

Hey CEO man,
Put away that agenda
Give me bugs in my game
But leave me my Heroes and Villains
Please!

Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you've got
Till it's gone
They closed Paragon
And put up a farewell page

Late last year
I saw the screen shut down
And a big error notice
Took away my playground

Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you've got
Till it's gone
They closed Paragon
And put up a farewell page

They closed Paragon
And put up a farewell page
 :'(

Kheprera

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #221 on: January 11, 2013, 12:44:32 AM »
I haven't posted in a while.

My depression is going full bore now. Finances have gotten tight, my desktop is dying, and my duties at work have doubled.

I can't keep up with anything, and my stress levels are through the roof.  The holidays were a trial to get through, and I have no outlet.

I got a cheap, off market tablet for Christmas and I've been retreating into books.  Just reread Shibumi by Trevanian again and looking at rereading Sherlock Holmes next.

I miss being able to lose myself in base building.  It was my stress relief, where I could immerse myself in stacking and creating floor patterns with desks.

I would gladly trade losing my base, starting my characters from scratch, and rebuilding if I could just have CoH back.


I tried CO, but it's not the same. And my system keeps crashing anyway.

I'm not handling the loss well.

healix

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #222 on: January 11, 2013, 03:20:24 AM »
Seeing all the videos can still make me cry because I miss it so badly. Lately, I have started feeling really angry. I think it may be from a false sense of entitlement that this was MY game, MY characters and how dare someone take it from me. Of course, this doesn't make sense.....but sometimes the brain and heart don't always match up. I doubt I will ever invest such strong feelings into any game again. I still want my City back. I want to create, immerse myself, team with friends, solo, and reconnect with the little characters that were fragments of myself.
Listen to the 'mustn'ts'. Listen to the 'don'ts'. Listen to the 'shouldn'ts', the 'impossibles', the 'won'ts'. Listen to the 'you'll never haves', then listen close to me... Anything can happen . Anything can be.

Nilbog

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #223 on: January 11, 2013, 06:54:52 PM »
I don't think it is a false sense of entitlement. The way the game is set up with veteran rewards and how they charged for costume kits and how much it cost for time, i feel the price was paid to be justified in entitlement. Shutting down cox feels like a breach of contract. All the years we spent, invested and pouring our creative hearts into the game. It was our game, we were betrayed and how you feel is completly justified.

Victoria Victrix

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #224 on: January 12, 2013, 12:29:12 PM »
I haven't posted in a while.

My depression is going full bore now. Finances have gotten tight, my desktop is dying, and my duties at work have doubled.

I can't keep up with anything, and my stress levels are through the roof.  The holidays were a trial to get through, and I have no outlet.

I got a cheap, off market tablet for Christmas and I've been retreating into books.  Just reread Shibumi by Trevanian again and looking at rereading Sherlock Holmes next.

I miss being able to lose myself in base building.  It was my stress relief, where I could immerse myself in stacking and creating floor patterns with desks.

I would gladly trade losing my base, starting my characters from scratch, and rebuilding if I could just have CoH back.


I tried CO, but it's not the same. And my system keeps crashing anyway.

I'm not handling the loss well.

I don't know how well this will help, but this is the FREE Podcast of our CoH-inspired series from Baen Books, The Secret World Chronicles

http://secretworldchronicle.com/podcast/  Lots of hours of listening there.

I will go down with this ship.  I won't put my hands up in surrender.  There will be no white flag above my door.  I'm in love, and always will be.  Dido

McNum

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #225 on: January 13, 2013, 10:16:50 PM »
All things considered, I've been taking it okay. Had a lot of other things to worry about, and I've taken up drawing, even got a deviantArt account set up to publish my doodling. I'm not great at it yet, but I'm improving steadily.

All in all, I thought I was pretty much over it with being sad about CoH. But last night, I learned that I'm not. At least my subconscious misses the game still. I had a dream. I was flying. Except it wasn't me flying, it was me as one of my heroes. Swooping up and down, playfully weaving in and out between buildings until finally landing near some doors. Another hero exits the door and the thought "Oh, look another player, how nice. Wait, I thought City of Heroes was shut down?" enters the dream. No dream can withstand logic of that kind... so I woke up. It was a good dream with a downer ending. Which kind of feels like an apt metaphor for City of Heroes, come to think of it.

I miss flying. I could log on and just fly around for hours. Land on rooftops, run off, hit fly on the way down and pull up before reaching the ground. Weaving between lightposts next to the road. flying side-by-side with the train on the tram. Accidentally popping through a hole in the geometry somewhere and having another /bug to report. I found some good ones, too. Like getting stuck inside the Architect beam machine up top. When the game hit live, there was a big collision volume over it. That was partially my doing, there. I got stuck good.

But yeah, I miss flying. If the wizards here manage to make a way for me to fly again, even if it's by myself, I'd gladly take it. Flying was my zen moment, so to speak. Not a care in the world, just a leaf on the wind.

Sugoi

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #226 on: January 14, 2013, 02:13:08 AM »
Flying is the main reason I play Champions Online from time to time, just to float around investigating new areas, and accepting an occasional mission to beat on baddies.  I just can't stand running thru rat mazes, even if I do get to keep the tails.   :D


Perfidus

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #227 on: January 14, 2013, 03:06:24 AM »
I was looking through old pictures and in one of them I could see CoH on in the background. Got a little teary.

antarcticaa

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #228 on: January 14, 2013, 03:24:23 AM »
I haven't posted in a while.

My depression is going full bore now. Finances have gotten tight, my desktop is dying, and my duties at work have doubled.

I can't keep up with anything, and my stress levels are through the roof.  The holidays were a trial to get through, and I have no outlet.

I got a cheap, off market tablet for Christmas and I've been retreating into books.  Just reread Shibumi by Trevanian again and looking at rereading Sherlock Holmes next.

I miss being able to lose myself in base building.  It was my stress relief, where I could immerse myself in stacking and creating floor patterns with desks.

I would gladly trade losing my base, starting my characters from scratch, and rebuilding if I could just have CoH back.


I tried CO, but it's not the same. And my system keeps crashing anyway.

I'm not handling the loss well.

Hugs and more hugs.  I do understand your feelings.  I'm fighting depression, a school district in terrible array, fiscal problems, and oh yeah, the upstairs flooded so that half the house is unusable as of Friday, the ceiling caved in the garage from the flooding, etc etc.  Yet still this community supports one another.  Reading is a great relief (thanks VV, Conan Doyle, etc etc) and last night I found myself just smiling while I mentally reviewed the old TFs and the simple joy of flying around CoH.  Yeah, it doesn't take away our sorrow at the game we lost but we had it and I am so grateful we did.

Please know we care and share your pain, we really do.  Keep us appraised on how it's going.  We may not be able to solve one another's cares but it does help to know we are concerned and there are still people fighting for our game.  With or without CoH, we're still heroes.

johnrobey

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #229 on: January 14, 2013, 03:48:05 AM »
Seeing all the videos can still make me cry because I miss it so badly. Lately, I have started feeling really angry. I think it may be from a false sense of entitlement that this was MY game, MY characters and how dare someone take it from me. Of course, this doesn't make sense.....but sometimes the brain and heart don't always match up. I doubt I will ever invest such strong feelings into any game again. I still want my City back. I want to create, immerse myself, team with friends, solo, and reconnect with the little characters that were fragments of myself.

Ditto!  I have gotten thru Sept's "Last ITF Ever" youtube vid a few times without crying, but that was mostly to prove something to myself.  I think the role of anger in the grieving process makes sense; it snaps one out of sorrow and depression into gettin' angry and wanting to do something!  And, yeah, head and heart don't always align.  I know that losing CoH is part of why I haven't enjoyed any of the MMO's I've dabbled with.  Even apart from it "feeling wrong"--not in a moral sense, but like the way it feels if one goes from driving a sports car to driving a U-Haul truck--I know that I just don't want to open myself up again just yet to feeling such disappointment and pain again! It's too soon (for me personally, and no prob and Congrats to those who can game again).  Happily I don't believe I obsess on CoH, but even as I remember almost daily a dear friend whose funeral was 2 years ago, rarely do I not think about CoH at least once daily.

Back to the anger piece, bwahaha!  This may have been offered before.  I don't know why it popped up in my mind when reading and posting to an SG forum on guildportal (yay! the sgmates are still there! and 2-4 us lurk here)  My "new" if it's new name for NCSoft:

NCSchmucks    Hope someone can get a laugh or even some mileage out of it, if it's not too offensive.
"We must be the change we wish to see in the world." -- Mahatma Gandhi         "In every generation there has to be some fool who will speak the truth as he sees it." -- Boris Pasternak
"Where They Have Burned Books They Will End In Burning Human Beings" -- Heinrich Heine

Illusionss

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #230 on: January 14, 2013, 06:15:23 AM »
I work up this morning [Sunday] at about 4:30 am. I lay there in the dark, thinking about CoX. I thought of my main, who i will probably never see again and how he was almost like a real friend to me, someone I cared about - who didnt actually exist. He was powerful, and I will never be powerful in any meaningful sense. To love him is to really love myself, for I created him. And I dont love myself much at all, so even that little bit was important.

Obviously I had been dreaming about the game, altho I didnt remember the dream. I lay there and thought about getting off the tram in Talos and flying toward the PI ferry; about passing over the Magic store, the zone music that always played, about the steep ravine down to the docks, and the Tsoo and Freaks who haunted it. Flying over the ocean, and seeing the war walls in the distance.

And I will never do those things again, most likely.

I know it is wrong of me, and perhaps indicative of a psychological failing in me, but I lay there and felt actual hate toward whoever made the decision to throw not just me, but all of us out of our safe little Eden, such an important part of my life and all of our lives. So many of us have lost so much, while theyre lounging in an office somewhere manipulating their stocks or whatever crap thing it is they are doing today. And how when it suits thier purpose, they will do the same thing all over again to another set of loyal players.

I am angry. I want revenge. I dont think they have one freaking clue what they did to us. And I want them to feel the same pain. The same loss.

Nilbog

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #231 on: January 14, 2013, 08:16:52 PM »
Some of my rooms were 8 years old and younger. In other words NCsoft took the lives of 45 million 8 year holds and younger. Fragments of ourselves created by the inner child. Anger is justified.

healix

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #232 on: January 15, 2013, 11:43:10 AM »
I love you guys...no one else could ever understand these feelings of loss and anger over 'just a game' as most people call it. I don't think there will ever be a replacement for what's been lost, but I still hope and pray for something as close as possible. I can't lose hope.
Listen to the 'mustn'ts'. Listen to the 'don'ts'. Listen to the 'shouldn'ts', the 'impossibles', the 'won'ts'. Listen to the 'you'll never haves', then listen close to me... Anything can happen . Anything can be.

Arctic Pulse

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #233 on: January 16, 2013, 07:27:46 PM »
I miss my friends and my SG
Arctic Firestorm
Avengers of Truth (Commander)

Kaiser Tarantula

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #234 on: January 16, 2013, 08:41:55 PM »
At first, I missed CoH, and couldn't play anything.

Then, I looked for something to fill the void.  I tried CO, and that was kinda okay for a while until I realized just how gimped non-freeform characters are.  I mean, I have a glacier AT at the level cap, but I still tank like garbage on literally everything.

Now I'm at the point where remembering CoH brings back the pain of its loss.  I stayed away from Titan Network for a little while and gave up on CO entirely, 'cuz I just couldn't stand to be reminded of CoH.

Now I'm over it just enough that I can come back here.  I've started playing Dungeon Fighter Online with a couple non-CoH friends.  I've also picked back up a few games that I put on hold during CoH's closure, like Minecraft.

I guess I'm handling things okay.  Might've done better though.

But Vakhlav's been crying bloody tears lately as he rips apart foes - it's not a good idea to sadden a berserker who weaponizes his own blood (not my berserker, but someone in the same class.  God, playing a game with character classes - is this what I've fallen to?)
« Last Edit: January 16, 2013, 09:10:40 PM by Kaiser Tarantula »

Victoria Victrix

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #235 on: January 17, 2013, 01:36:57 AM »
As the players are now finding, to their bitter disappointment, City of Heroes is absolutely unique among MMORPGs. The wide variety of powersets among the archetypes, rich and deep story-lines and the constant updates of content meant that there were people who had played for the entirety of its life, and still had not tried everything. The User Interface was easy and intuitive. The graphics engine could perform at several levels, so that those with older video cards were not left out and those with the latest and greatest could gape with wonder at ever-improving graphics modes. But most of all players are missing the fact that this was never a game. This was a social interface wrapped in a game, as if the very best parts of the Sims, Second Life, Facebook and WoW, plus TV shows by your favorite people had been neatly gathered up and presented to them with a bow on top.

Maybe we ought to start reminding people who call us whiners and say we should get over it about that.  How would they feel if someone destroyed every episode of their favorite TV show (including their personal copies) or yanked Facebook out from under them?  I don't use Facebook, should I call them whiners?
I will go down with this ship.  I won't put my hands up in surrender.  There will be no white flag above my door.  I'm in love, and always will be.  Dido

nataliaofvirtues

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #236 on: January 17, 2013, 01:42:47 PM »
I have to say, I am not nearly over the loss of City! I read the forums and cry, I watch the youtube videos and cry, I log onto my computer and cry (because I have chosen to leave the launcher on my desktop). I feel for everyone of my fellow heroes/villains that is suffering the loss. I know we have all beat this subject to death, but still, NcSoft doesn't deserve to be in business. They will never get another dime of my money for any game they have or may have. Nor will the company that owns them. I will boycott them till hell freezes over. 
It is comforting somewhat to know that I am by far not the only one having major separation issues. All we can do now is just hope and support one another. I miss you all!

Thunder Glove

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #237 on: January 17, 2013, 05:29:37 PM »
I'm already bored with Champions Online. I'm still technically subscribed, but I've logged into the game a grand total of once over the last two weeks.  My pseudo-Brute is level 30 and (on paper) has decent resistances and damage bonuses, but still feels fragile and weak, incapable of standing up to a large group or dealing with hard targets quickly. My pseudo-Mastermind is about 30, too, but lags my computer so much that he's no fun to play (even though he should be a blast - and was, until I tried to get six pets, like a Mastermind should have, instead of just four).

But the worst part is the altitis.  It's... not there. In CoH, I could create a new character that played entirely differenly from the one I was just playing.  My Brutes didn't play like my Dominators or Masterminds.  My Brutes barely even played like each other, so it was fun to start over with a new powerset combination.  But every single powerset feels the same in CO, and I can't get excited about creating a new character.

The "oooh, I wonder what this new character will be like" excitement is not there in CO, because I know what the next character will be like.  It'll be exactly like the other half-dozen characters I made, got to about level 15, and abandoned, only with different colors shooting out of his hands.

So when you combined not really caring about new character combinations with having no real goals for my characters (unlike CoH, where I was always trying to get them something new to play with) when I can play them at all.... it's falling by the wayside.  CoH kept me enthralled for two years and counting, but CO could barely hold my attention for two months.

I want CoH back.  Today.  Right now. :(

Servantes

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #238 on: January 17, 2013, 05:59:57 PM »
For me I'm handling the loss of CoH far better then the first week of its shutdown, most of the time I can fill the day with other games, often I stare at the wall for a hour or 2 that would normally be spent playing CoH, or just fall asleep, to me it was the most fun part of my teen years spent in that game, I started playing at 16 years old, every day after school I was playing, the game saved me from depression, ironic I'm back to depression but atleast I have a idea how to deal with it.

 I once posted that CoH was like a Brother to me, every aspect of the game from the community to the game itself represented a personality.

But I deleted that post, I thought it too personal or seemed silly, but no I was wrong and it shows how much the game had a impact on me, I met friends from it and it taught me valuable businesses lessons, overall I am still grateful for the game for being, and will never forget it.

Allow me to restate something I typed out while thinking clearly :

 City of Heroes servers may be shutting down, but It will still live on forever in our hearts and minds, stand proud not in its passing but its existence for being, from the first day to the last it has been a pleasure. No matter the words stated by others of its being less then its praise, it is our words that stand the test of time, the negativity that falls at the way side forgotten. And when the sunsets the last day, I will salute its fall for I know City of Heroes will rise again, For We are the City of Heroes, and we shall forever be here.

Every word, every feeling stands true and with time I will be there when CoH returns even if I have to buy the game myself 10 years from now.


therain93

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #239 on: January 18, 2013, 01:23:06 AM »
Still badly.  Still for the same reason.  Two buses full of my best friends (my characters and my RL friends) were wantonly driven over a cliff by NCSoft.  The one thing I could rely on to release stress is gone (trying to play in other games is more stressful rather than releasing stress.)

Going through a lot of Kleenex.
It feels like my CoH friends and all my characters are somewhere halfway around the world from me...not gone, but unreachable. I want them back. Sort of the same feeling as when the Griswalds reached Wally World and found it locked down....only worse.
I feel the same way -- it reminds me of Brick:  http://www.hulu.com/embed-html.html?eid=1d9f7zmadgpaufbsgcjksw&et=875&st=833
 
 
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You don't know what it's like.... |-| Book One. Chapter one...