Forum Game: The stockings were hung by the [chimney] with [care].

[healix]

The voluptuous Avenger Report:
Yes ladies and gentlemen, I am not wearing a Victoria Secret's vented vest.

[Paragon Avenger]

The Wanton Avenger Report:
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am not wasteful.

[Pengy]

The XMPP Avenger Report:
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I M not X N Trick.

[Paragon Avenger]

The Yukon Avenger Report:
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am not yours.

[Paragon Avenger]

The Zebra Avenger Report:
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I avenge zebras.

[Paragon Avenger]

I was [shocked] when I heard about the Air [Kazoo] contest.

(fill the second blank with a musical instrument, if possible.)

[Paragon Avenger]

I was amuzed when I heard about the Air Accordion Contest.

[eabrace]

I was befuddled when I heard about the Air Bouzouki contest.

[Paragon Avenger]

I was confused when I heard about the Air clarinet contest.

[eabrace]

I was dumbfounded when I heard about the Air Dulcimer contest.

[Pengy]

I was excited when I heard about the Air euphonium contest.

[Paragon Avenger]

I was freaking when I heard about the Air flute contest.

[Paragon Avenger]

I was giddy when I heard about the Air guitar contest.

[eabrace]

I was horrified when I heard about the Air Harmonica contest.

[Pengy]

I was invariant when I heard about the Air Irish flute contest.

[eabrace]

I was giddy when I heard about the Air Glockenspiel contest.

[Paragon Avenger]

I was jealous when I heard about the Air jazz contest.

[eabrace]

??? How on earth did I manage to bungle G H I G...?

Anyway:

I was knackered when I heard about the Air Kazoo contest.

[Paragon Avenger]

It happens to the best of us.

I was lamenting when I heard about the Air lyre contest.

(I was gasping for breath when I heard about the Air gong contest.)

[Pengy]

I was mollified when I heard about the Air melodica contest.