Forum Game: The stockings were hung by the [chimney] with [care].

[Paragon Avenger]

I won't join a club that would take me as a tanker. 

[SerialBeggar]

I won't join a club that would undermine me as an underling.

[Paragon Avenger]

I won't join a club that would vote me as a villian. 

[Floride]

I won't join a club that would want me as a Wyvern. 

[Pengy]

I won't join a club that would xerox me as an x-rated image.

[Paragon Avenger]

I won't join a club that would yank me as a yonker. 

[Floride]

I won't join a club that would zap me as a Zod.

Next challenge!
I'm not only the [Hair Club] President, but I'm also a [client]!

I'm not only the Amway President, but I'm also an alcoholic!

[SerialBeggar]

I'm not only the bestest President, but I'm also a believer (in myself)!

[Pengy]

I'm not only the Comet Empire president, I'm also a convict!

[victoriafb]

When I saw this forum thread, it made me remember some silly mental exercises my family has done in the past, and this one in particular: Every Xmas (or Holiday Season for us soul-less Atheists), we revive our effort to complete a humorous alphabetic list of variation of the third line from the classic Christmas poem A Visit from St. Nicholas.

We start with something like: "The stockings were hung by the armchair with angst" then "The stockings were hung by the banister with banality." We try to figure out comical alphabetic pairs of "places to hang stockings in a house" and "human emotions, attitudes or mental states"

I've got years of a head start so I won't post any of my others, but I'd love to see what others might come up with.

The stockings are usually apathy

[Floride]

I'm not only the Doritos president, I'm also a diabetic!

[Paragon Avenger]

I'm not only the elected president, I'm also the electorate!

[SerialBeggar]

I'm not only the French President, I'm also a freemason.

[Pengy]

I'm not only the gorram president, I'm also a goat.

[Paragon Avenger]

I'm not only the hair-club president, I'm also an heiress!

[SerialBeggar]

I'm not only the ideal president, I'm also an imperialist.

[Paragon Avenger]

I'm not only the Jordanian president, I'm also Jewish.

[healix]

I'm not only the kazoo president, I'm also the kingpin!

[Floride]

I'm not only the Lenovo president, I'm also a Luddite!

[SerialBeggar]

I'm not only the mean president, I'm also a medium.