Where Have All The Heroes Gone: Forum

Paragon Avenger · July 03, 2015, 04:23:47 AM

Here's what somebody had to say about "Where Have All The Heroes Gone" series:

https://images.weserv.nl/?url=0.media.dorkly.cvcdn.com%2F36%2F35%2F6603dc5a9292104b44c349b85b5aaf7a-5-crazy-fan-theories-that-make-total-sense.jpg

Paragon Avenger · July 03, 2015, 06:28:27 AM

Arcana said:

Quote

He hid his money in a secret hollow in his left shoe. This was the new reality. You had to take whatever precautions you could think of in Atlas Park these days. Gone were the good old days when you could walk down the street unaware of your surroundings. When if some Hellions tried anything, five heroes would jump them. As you would back away, you would see the bad guys frozen, inside fire circles with electricity shooting towards them. And a weird hum, and a green aura filling the area. What a sight to see.

"You had to take whatever precautions you could think of" is grammatically correct. However, its also second person. Second person has implications. It dictates to the reader. As a result, it can be distancing: the reader tends not to build their own sense of perspective, their own viewpoint, because they are being told what they see, what they think, what they feel. It can make it difficult for readers to become invested in anything. Grammar can tell you what your weapons are shooting at. Grammar can tell you if you're aiming at the right things. Were you trying to create distance between the reader and the story? Or did you want to pull them in? The meaning of the words say one thing, the structure of the writing says something else. How about this:

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He hid his money in the secret hollow in his left shoe. This was his new reality. Gone were the good old days when you could walk down the streets of Atlas Park unaware of your surroundings. When if some Hellions tried anything, five heroes would jump them. He remembered the days when it was the criminals who had to be cautious, lest they find themselves frozen inside fire circles with electricity shooting towards them. When a weird hum and a green aura filling the area was a sign to everyone that while they might not be exactly safe on the streets of Paragon City, there was always someone watching. They were a sight to see. But now he was the one taking precautions, wondering what might jump out at him, for trying to cross the street.

I'm not saying this is better (nor am I judging your writing specifically, it was just a convenient example).

Everyone is talking about "Where Have All The Heroes Gone" series.

Paragon Avenger · July 06, 2015, 04:58:10 AM

Any thoughts on "Gold Side"?

Paragon Avenger · July 11, 2015, 02:45:08 AM

Whoa, slow down, let me get a pencil.

Alright, alright, I think you will like what's coming.

Paragon Avenger · July 15, 2015, 05:12:46 AM

Did we like the ending of that telephone story?
I think Josh was my favorite character, well besides Super Fire Dragon, of course.

Paragon Avenger · July 22, 2015, 12:43:23 AM

Kolissa is one of a kind.
I do feel sorry for Ella, a bit, but it's her own fault.

Paragon Avenger · July 28, 2015, 02:02:48 AM

Others may try, but you know where the cool kids hang-out.
"Where Have All The Heroes Gone" series, now available in your grocier's freezer, (ok, I lied about the freezer.)

Paragon Avenger · August 02, 2015, 12:15:51 AM

Wowee, there's about 50 people looking in on Gold Side for time to time. Let's see, there were about 60,000 CoH players, and about 5,000 people on on the Titan Forum, that makes 813,454 people who love the "Where Have All The Heroes Gone" series!

(Super Fire Dragon taught me math.)

Paragon Avenger · August 05, 2015, 01:36:05 AM

I wonder if I should write the wedding story of Ice and Jenny.
Probably not, unless ...

Paragon Avenger · August 09, 2015, 04:36:59 AM

You know you can make comments here about the story, right?

Well you can.
And I will read your post.
I might responded by questioning the conditions of your birth, but I will read your post.

Actually, I take all replies in stride, and if I can make the story better by heeding some friendly advice, where's the harm?

Paragon Avenger · August 13, 2015, 03:34:38 AM

Ok, if you want another story after Gold Side, but in the Where Have All The Heroes Gone series, response now with "Blue Side, Please"

If you want anther story featuring different characters, respond with, "Something Different Already, geez."

Paragon Avenger · August 19, 2015, 04:23:07 AM

About 80 views since the last "reply" on 5.

Wow, 80 people are willing to read my story for free.
Yup, I didn't pay them nothing.

Paragon Avenger · September 01, 2015, 05:32:18 AM

They're making a movie, how clever.

Paragon Avenger · September 07, 2015, 03:55:15 AM

SFD: Listen, PA, we love your stuff.
PA: Great, good news.
SFD: We need you to do this next post as if you were standing in the middle of the grocery store looking for cheese.
PA: Ok, what kind of cheese.
SFD: Cheddar, and then all of a sudden like ...
PA: Yeah-yeah-yeah ...
SFD: You realize
PA: Yes
SFD: that
PA: what?
SFD: You aren't wearing pants.
PA: Extra Sharp Cheddar or regular?
SFD: Extra Sharp, of course.
PA: Ok, thanks SFD.

When you start taking direction from one of your characters, it's time for the rubber room.

Paragon Avenger · September 18, 2015, 01:16:15 AM

So, what do we want "Where Have All The Heroes Gone: Blue Side" to be about?

Paragon Avenger · September 19, 2015, 11:32:57 PM

Huh, Grav-Knight and Necrophillia, huh, what do you think.

This will be modelled after the first Where Have story with Necrophillia teaching Grav-Knight about being a hero, which will be interesting because Necrophillia started in Praetoria.

Of course, Necrophillia can count past 11d12.

"Cheese is not a number!"

Paragon Avenger · September 24, 2015, 02:43:05 AM

Yes, I have started "Where Have All The Heroes Gone #6: Blue Side".

I might be giving away some trade secrets, but I have no idea where it's going to go. Just like the first 5, I only have a rough idea of what I might want to do. For proof, look at Task Force. Anyway, I hope to reveal more of Necrophillia's personality without delving into her "hobby" as it were.

Blue Side could be like Red Side and SFD returns rolled into one, but better.

Paragon Avenger · September 25, 2015, 02:46:17 AM

So I had an idea for "Blue Side".
Grav-Knight would run into the tailor shop and ...
Necrophillia: No! You're doing it wrong!
Me: Help! there are zombies after me.

Paragon Avenger · September 28, 2015, 04:28:39 AM

Necrophillia and Kolissa are interesting together. I should do more stuff with just those two.
I have made it clear that Necrophillia has Necrophila, so they aren't gay. They can be funny together, but the silly factor is low. Super Fire Dragon adds silly and the way Kolissa talks to him increases her above-it-all status. If you remember in Red Side

Spoiler for Hidden:

Super Fire Dragon is at least her equal as a superhero. SFD has the same relationship with Kolissa that he has with Ms. Liberty, except that Ms. Liberty is his boss, sort of.
So you see the problem, maybe Umbral Schrumbral would work out. There is Totally Awesome Dude that we really didn't get to know very well. The Tattered Avenger and the Paragon Comptroller characters might be able to help. Some Nut with a Gun, of course, why didn't I see that earlier. Thanks readers.

Paragon Avenger · October 01, 2015, 03:52:27 AM

Looks like Blue Side is slowly building a following.
I write these stories for me, but it doesn't hurt to see a ton of views since the last one.
So, if you want to help inspire me, read it multiple times and trick me into thinking great hords are demending another entry.
As Umbral Schrumbral might say: Couldn't hurt.