The "I'm gonna go hunt..." Alphabet Game

[Triplash]

My book report today is on Janus, the two-faced Roman god of beginnings and doors. I don't know why the heck I wrote an entire freaking novel about him, I'm guessing it's because I'm at that state of tiredness where I think everything's funny, but there it is. You can safely skip over it, I doubt it'll be on the test. I'll just put it here in case you get bored later or can't sleep :)

Spoiler for Janus: The Man, The Myth, The Legend:

Janus is one of the ancient Roman gods, probably best known for penning the epic ode "Mars Won't You Buy Me a Stallion-Drawn Chariot." He was so famous that the Romans even named the month of January in his honor. They were going to go with the last month of the year, but seeing that he was the god of beginnings and transitions, he felt that any month but the first was a grave insult to his honor. So he summoned his lawyer and had the scribe who suggested it fired. And by fired I mean thrown in the lion pit at the Colosseum.

He was also the god of gates, doors, and passages. He didn't really like doors much, but that's what was left by the time they got to him, so he figured, eh whatever. If you can't change it, own it. He went on to represent the hell out of those doors. His doors were always sturdy and his hinges well-oiled. Not once during his entire reign did anyone break on through to the other side at one of his temples.

In artwork Janus is often depicted as having two faces. Most scholars believe that this was because he looked both to the future and the past. But anyone who knew him would happily tell you that it referred to his tendency to be a two-faced lying jerk.

Janus also presided over the beginning and ending of conflict (not the middle parts where the actual fighting happened; just the parts you could easily retreat from), hence war and peace. He maintained an open door policy during times of war, and closed his doors during peacetime (when there were people around to ask him questions and hold him accountable for things). Yeah... he was kind of a douche. In fact, he often claimed that his status as god of transitions made him responsible for presiding over journeys and exchanges. Lo and behold, whenever there was a situation he didn't feel like dealing with... oh look, he was suddenly needed three towns over to bless a new market. How convenient.

Janus had no specialized priests assigned to him (none of them would stay longer than a couple days after meeting him), however the King of the Sacred Rites himself carried out his ceremonies. (He told Janus it was a mark of respect, but the truth was nobody really trusted Janus to run a public event by himself. Once he got into the wine he would start flirting with all the guys and picking fights with the women. And don't let anyone tell you it was the other way around... there wasn't a chance on this earth that he would start fights with full-grown men. All the diplomatic immunity in the world won't protect you from a sword in a back alley.) In exchange for not having his own priests, Janus insisted on being invoked in other religious ceremonies through out the year, regardless of what the occasion was or which other deity was supposed to be getting honored. (Did I mention he was a douche?)

I believe I can best sum up the god Janus by saying that the Greeks had no equivalent to him. They specifically made sure that he would be remembered for all of history as "the roman guy, not one of ours".

[healix]

KERES


These are Hades hit men who will finish you off in no uncertain manner if called upon.
They have red robes, claws and terrible teeth. They also tend to drink on the job. Just the red stuff.

[Merseine]

Might as well toss this in here and continue my trend of tricksters.

And here to introduce our current trickster....it's the HULK!   http://youtu.be/SdH8_MIIEpQ

So of course, our Puny God is....

Loki!

[healix]

The Minotaur -
The half-man, half-bull monster that terrorizes Minos's Labyrinth and ITF...lol

[healix]

The NCSoftirrex
An unfeeling beast that consumes worlds, and rips out hearts.  ;D ;) :)

[Merseine]

And for O, I choose Olympus, as in Mt. Olympus where these idiots gods all dwelled.

Zeus
Poseidon
Hades
Hestia
Hera
Aris
Athena
Apollo
Aphrodite
Hermes
Artemis
Hephaestus


===

In other news (not terrible, but sort of sad),

Spoiler for Hidden:

been bumming a bit, remembering that one year ago we had the news that our world was being yanked out from under us.

[JWBullfrog]

Pluto.

No not a cartoon Dog, or the once and future planet at the edge of the solar system.
The god of the underworld. Widely considered a bit of a bummer. But, considering his job, you would be too.

[Merseine]

For the letter Q, how can we not honor Quetzalcoatl , the Aztec/Mayan feathered serpent god and boundary maker between earth and sky - and we're not talking about Cortez who may or may not have usurped the name.

[JWBullfrog]

RA... a drop of golden sun...

Yep, I'm going to burn in the Egyptian afterlife for that one. The Sungod was not known for his sense of humor.

[healix]

The Sphinx -
A beast with the head of a woman and the body of a winged lion. The Sphinx blocks entry to the city of Thebes, refusing to budge until someone answers her riddle and eating anyone who fails. When Oedipus solves the riddle, the Sphinx promptly kills herself.

[Merseine]

If we had Loki ("Puny God!"), we have to have Tyr.   You thought I was gonna go with Thor, didn't ya?


Wrong day to put this out though, this being Saturn's Day.....hmmmm...does that mean we should have a Saturnalia??   8)

[houtex]

Not many in the 'U' category, but I present y'all with...

Urania - Muse of Astronomy.

Awesome.

[Merseine]

Might as well go with Venus... I mean, you've all seen the "Birth of Venus" (aka, Venus on a Halfshell....Turtle POWER!) right? 

[JWBullfrog]

and I'll counter with

WOTAN

a one eyed all-father by any other name would still be scary as all get out

[Merseine]

Might as well get this letter over with.  The Aztecs are wonderful for X-named gods.

Xiuhtecuhtli, god of fire.
Xantico, goddess of firebox.
Xipe-Totec, god of force, patron of war, agriculture, vegetation, diseases, seaons, rebirth, hunting, trades and spring, the lord of the East.
Xolotl, god of sunset.
Xochitlicue, goddess of fertility, life, death and rebirth.

[JWBullfrog]

we've under represented the East so...

Yu-huang

  Yu-huang is the Chinese "Jade Emperor" of Taoism, the highest ruler of the Taoist heavens. Yu-huang is the head of celestial administration. Yu-huang is one of the "three pure ones."

[Triplash]

I'm gonna finish this one up with an entry that's completely, 100% real and not fictional at all.

Zuul - A demonic spirit, considered to be a demigod, and worshipped as a servant to Gozer the Gozerian, a Sumerian shape-shifting god of destruction.

Legend states that if Zuul, known as "The Gatekeeper", were ever to unite forces with Vinz Clortho, "The Keymaster", they would open a gateway that would summon Gozer, "The Destructor", to this world.

[houtex]

There is no Dana, only Zuul.

[Merseine]

OK, just to recap...we have done:

Bad guys in COH
Numbers
Symbols
Fruit
Veggies (we stopped at "I" on that one)
Music groups (with lyrics)
Movies
Books (with a nod to 2 hypothetical lovers and how the next book on the list would fit in)
Clothes
People
Places
Rhymes
Phobias
Character types
Mythology

Now how about TV Shows?  (extra points for "Classic TV" which is just old-timer's-speak for anything that was on before the Simpsons took over the airwaves.) 

So, we start with Adam-12

[Triplash]

There is no Dana, only Zuul.

*snrk* That's going in my signature now.



Classic TV, eh? Very well. How about...  Barnaby Jones?

https://images.weserv.nl/?url=upload.wikimedia.org%2Fwikipedia%2Fen%2F5%2F53%2FBarnaby_jones.jpg