Epic Rap Battles of The City... Westin Phipps vs Scirocco

[Steelclaw]

One of my guilty pleasures is the You Tube video series "Epic Rap Battles of History".  I strongly suggest you give it a listen; my favorite one so far is "Albert Einstein versus Stephen Hawkings" although the recent "Batman versus Sherlock Holmes" gave it a good run for it's money.

Now, I can't rap worth a plug nickel, but I figured it would be fun to at least give it a try.  So, I took two characters from City of Heroes who I would love to see engaged in insult combat and gave them a voice.

Here is what I came up with...

Epic Rap Battles of The City...

Westin Phipps

Versus

Scirocco...

BEGIN!

(Scirocco)
Oh hey!  Look what the cat dragged in...
Didn't know Mister Rogers had an evil twin!

Your Recluse's lap dog; so sit up and beg...
Your favorite wet dream is humpin' his leg!

You claim that you're evil but I know you're a phony...
All curled up in Haven watchin' My Little Pony...

No-powered b**ch doin' evil under cover...
You're about as evil as a cub scout Den Mother!

(Westin Phipps)
Pathetic!
You have the balls to bring up powers?
What's yours?
Crying alone for hours and hours?

You're an Emo
Supreme-Oh
To be a hero; you dream-oh
I bet you even cried during Finding Nemo...

At least I only pretend to be good...
Walk an old lady 'cross the street and you pop wood!

When it comes to team Recluse you ain't worth sh*t...
Go away desert boy... clean the sand from your cl*t   !

(Scirocco)
Like my powers, my rhymes are all magic...
While yours... man, they're borderline tragic!

I'm Emo? At least I can face reality...
Here's a nickel chump... go buy a personality!

You're a cliché! A putz!  A bad joke that's intentional...
It's good you're in a game 'cause dude you're two dimensional!

You burn school books and think you're Darth Vader?
You're the water boy of Team Recluse, fool... Later!

(Westin Phipps)
You don't have the props to even begin to try me...
If I'm Vader, then you're Anakin crying "why me?"

You let your inferiority go to your head...
Hell, you set your sights on a chick that is dead!

You're the last one they want when they're pickin' their patron...
But there's a line 'round the corner for a turn with your matron!

Your own Mom's got you beat when it comes to givin' a thrill...
Now take off, dusty roads, I've got orphans to kill...


Who won?

Who's next?

You decide!

[Zekiran]

OMG I have missed these so much.

Pure awesome.

My sense of duty to my main's love interest compels me: Akarast! Do him next.


I mean that in the most unintentionally hilarious way.

[Vasarto]

lol. I just got done watching mosses vs Santa....I think santa won but whatever lol.

Ones I wanna see are ones like Edger Allen Poe vs H.P lovecraft,  Crocodile Dun Dee Vs Indiana Jones, Ozzy Osbourne Vs Marylin Manson, Captain America vs Captain Planet and Richard Garfield Vs Gary Gygax.

[Stunrunner]

Tyrant versus Fusionette.

Do eet.

[Zekiran]

Tyrant versus Fusionette.

Do eet.

You have my permission to do this before Akarist. ;)

[JWBullfrog]

Laughing my fool head off here. Mainly because Phipps was top of my list of 'NPC's that I would like to slap silly."

[Aggelakis]

ILU Steelclaw.

[faith.grins]

Tyrant versus Fusionette.

Do eet.

Epic RAP BATTLES of The Cityyyy!

Tyrant!

versus!

Fusioneeeeette!

BEGIN

[Tyrant]
You say you're with the Nuclear Ninety?
I guess that explains your IQ.
I saved all of humanity.
What can you do?

Oh, my, where do I begin?
You claim to be a super hero,
but you've gone and got yourself captured again.
You're a glorified damsel in distress
with all the class of a prima donna
who can't understand
why she's always in such a mess.

I'll bet you don't even know what Fusion is,
let alone a quark or a hadron.
I've got a city to protect from a monster -
Come back and see me
after you've bested your own Hamidon.

...

I got nothin' for Fusionette.  Someone feel free to write a verse for her.  May come back to this tomorrow.

[Von Krieger]

[Fusionette]
Oh, I'm sorry, did you say something?
I can't hear you over your eight tons of bling.
Emperor Cole, the man we call Tyrant,
whose Olympian Guard look like walking fire hydrants.

You want to go comparing Hamidons, you star-wearing geek?
Here on Primal Earth we farm Hami-O's every day of the week.
And you and yours? Why, it conquered Praetoria.
And then you kissed its a** so that the thing would ignore ya.

Man, talk about desperate, you and Hami doing the dirty,
But you'll take what you can get, you ain't got any since the '30's.
Have Neuron bring you a mint at light speed,
'Cuz Tyrant, your breath smells like Hamidon Seed.

[faith.grins]

[Tyrant]
This ain't no bling, I'm an Emperor — it's called class
I'm so old school, I'll show you where your parents got owned!
See we get enough style not to show off our ***s and a**,
even my girl named Dominatrix don't dress like such a ho!

In your world, I'm a legend;
in my world you're a guy!
Don't ask me how that works,
maybe Mother 'd like to try.

[Mother]
Come now, dear, don't make Mother angry;
you're no match for my raps, don't you agree?
I can hear your thoughts, my love, don't worry,
you'll still find love once Jim drops you in a hurry
for that Penny girl, what's not to like?  A sharper mind,
and Phalanx status?  You've just been left behind.
But Mother still loves you, come here, it'll all be better
as soon as you cover that hussy outfit with a sweater.

[Septipheran]

Did someone say rap battles?

Sorry, couldn't resist.

[Von Krieger]

[Fusionette]
Aww that's cute, when I said you hide Hami's salami,
You wussed out and had to run back home to Mommy.
What I think we have here is some major mother issues,
Why don't we ask Anti-Matter to invent some Incarnate-level tissues?

You want to talk about my outfit? You think showing skin is edgy?
You ought to put some pants on, Mayhem, to cover up your wedgie.
Bring on all the Praetors, I got mad rhymes for days!
And I bet Cole thought you were hotter when you were Mother Malaise.

I'm on of the Nuclear 90, with a fusion reactor for a heart,
And Tyrant? He passed gas and blew his Magisterium apart.
So, Emperor Cole and Mumsy, what did we learn?
You can call me Pyronic Judgement because I've got epic level burns!


WHO WON?!

WHO'S NEXT?!

YOU DECIDE!

[gibberish roughly equating to Epic Rap Battles of the City]

[Minotaur]

Becky the tarantula mistress vs Lt Fergusun

[corvus1970]

[Fusionette]
Aww that's cute, when I said you hide Hami's salami,
You wussed out and had to run back home to Mommy.
What I think we have here is some major mother issues,
Why don't we ask Anti-Matter to invent some Incarnate-level tissues?

You want to talk about my outfit? You think showing skin is edgy?
You ought to put some pants on, Mayhem, to cover up your wedgie.
Bring on all the Praetors, I got mad rhymes for days!
And I bet Cole thought you were hotter when you were Mother Malaise.

I'm on of the Nuclear 90, with a fusion reactor for a heart,
And Tyrant? He passed gas and blew his Magisterium apart.
So, Emperor Cole and Mumsy, what did we learn?
You can call me Pyronic Judgement because I've got epic level burns!


WHO WON?!

WHO'S NEXT?!

YOU DECIDE!

[gibberish roughly equating to Epic Rap Battles of the City]

Theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee EBBICKWAPBADDLESUFHISTOLLLLLYYYYYYYYYY!

[NecrotechMaster]

this thread is so full of epic win that i have no pictures to fully describe it

[Stunrunner]

Azuria

vs

Arbiter Sands

[SerialBeggar]

I think Fusionette had the stronger responses, especially on the second round.

[faith.grins]

I think Fusionette had the stronger responses, especially on the second round.

Oh, no question.  At my best I'm passably witty; I honestly didn't expect someone to take up the opposition there.

[Von Krieger]

It helps that I'm a ten year veteran of competitive writing via insults, aka online wrestling/e-fedding.

[therain93]

One of my guilty pleasures is the You Tube video series "Epic Rap Battles of History".  I strongly suggest you give it a listen; my favorite one so far is "Albert Einstein versus Stephen Hawkings" although the recent "Batman versus Sherlock Holmes" gave it a good run for it's money.

Now, I can't rap worth a plug nickel, but I figured it would be fun to at least give it a try.  So, I took two characters from City of Heroes who I would love to see engaged in insult combat and gave them a voice.

Here is what I came up with...

Epic Rap Battles of The City...

Westin Phipps

Versus

Scirocco...

BEGIN!

(Scirocco)
Oh hey!  Look what the cat dragged in...
Didn't know Mister Rogers had an evil twin!

Your Recluse's lap dog; so sit up and beg...
Your favorite wet dream is humpin' his leg!

You claim that you're evil but I know you're a phony...
All curled up in Haven watchin' My Little Pony...

No-powered b**ch doin' evil under cover...
You're about as evil as a cub scout Den Mother!

(Westin Phipps)
Pathetic!
You have the balls to bring up powers?
What's yours?
Crying alone for hours and hours?

You're an Emo
Supreme-Oh
To be a hero; you dream-oh
I bet you even cried during Finding Nemo...

At least I only pretend to be good...
Walk an old lady 'cross the street and you pop wood!

When it comes to team Recluse you ain't worth sh*t...
Go away desert boy... clean the sand from your cl*t   !

(Scirocco)
Like my powers, my rhymes are all magic...
While yours... man, they're borderline tragic!

I'm Emo? At least I can face reality...
Here's a nickel chump... go buy a personality!

You're a cliché! A putz!  A bad joke that's intentional...
It's good you're in a game 'cause dude you're two dimensional!

You burn school books and think you're Darth Vader?
You're the water boy of Team Recluse, fool... Later!

(Westin Phipps)
You don't have the props to even begin to try me...
If I'm Vader, then you're Anakin crying "why me?"

You let your inferiority go to your head...
Hell, you set your sights on a chick that is dead!

You're the last one they want when they're pickin' their patron...
But there's a line 'round the corner for a turn with your matron!

Your own Mom's got you beat when it comes to givin' a thrill...
Now take off, dusty roads, I've got orphans to kill...


Who won?

Who's next?

You decide!

I'm sure many others may be thinking the same thing I'm about to write "I'm so glad you found us!" ( ' :