On Che-Myun

[StarRanger4]

From: http://www.lukeandgracekim.com/10.html

Che-myun literally means "body and face," (낯, 면목, 위신) and refers to face-saving in the sense of saving social face or saving the external facade to maintain respectability. As in other Asian countries, face-saving behavior is very important to Koreans in their public and social relation­ship. Maintaining che-myun protects one's sense of dig­nity, self-respect, and respectability. Honor is an impor­tant concept to live by for Koreans, and the honor of the individual as well as his or her family is maintained through che-myun. Che-myun helps to promote harmo­nious relationships. For example, face-saving may help a person to behave more gracefully, and moderate his or her temper in facing a person, even if he or she is very angry with the person.

Che-myun also promotes the development of mutual obligations and responsibilities. If a person does not respond in a reciprocal manner, he or she loses face. If a person does you a favor, it is your turn to return the favor, Hence, Che-myun is conducive to the development of a reciprocal bond and mutual relationships between and among people. Asian societies historically have been very social status-oriented. Therefore, generally Koreans/Asians are very conscious of their social status. That's why they like titles, honors, academic degrees from Ivy-league colleges, brand-name products, etc. People display che-myun behavior to maintain their social status, pride and prestige.

However, sometimes the che-myun behavior can be pretentious. If che-myun behavior is exaggerated. it can lead to a behavior of "huh-she (허세, 虛勢)' or "ki-mae (き-まえ, 気前)" in Japanese. Huh-seh is similar to the Western concept of bravado or show-off. A person may want to assure others as well as oneself of his or her status and prestige by driving a Mercedes and living in an expensive house in a exclu­sive area, even if he or she is actually living on a tight budget, In the spirit of huh-seh, one may give an expen­sive and extravagant party for friends, even if it means going into debt. Koreans especially are known for their very generous hospitality to house guests.

A concept related to che-myun is a behavior of ab-dui (앞뒤). In Korean Ab means "front," and dui, "back." It refers to presenting an external facade to a person's face, but behave differently behind the other's back. This is simi­lar to Takeo Doi's (1985) two fold theory of social con­sciousness of Japanese people. It is a behavior of "Otnote (おもて, 表)and Ura (うら, 裏): "external public display" and "internal private reality." This theme is often played symbolically in Asian theatrical dramas or dancing wearing carved wooden facial masks, such as in Kabuki, Korean Tal-Choom, and Chinese traditional opera. Carl Jung also spoke of a "per­sona," an external social person.

The behavior of ab-dui represents a willful effort, perhaps sometimes desperately, to maintain a facade, not only to save one's own face, but to pay the courtesy of being pleasant or presenting one's best to the other per­son. An example is smiling to a person's face, while being angry with him or her inside oneself. It is difficult to be totally honest and open all the time, and to show one's real or raw feelings --especially when one wants to maintain social harmony and civility.

This is pretty much mirrored in one of the few other documents I've found so far
http://upetd.up.ac.za/thesis/available/etd-03292007-173605/unrestricted/00dissertation.pdf  (no quote because 1, pdf's and me dont like eath other much, and 2) its pretty much the same data)

For an example in actual events:
http://randywoodchopper.wordpress.com/2006/06/18/che-myun/
Che Myun
June 18, 2006

Che Myun is also known as saving face. It is a social condition here that causes no end of problems for foreigners, particularly if you are not really familiar with the concept. Basically, if someone makes an error they are allowed to, for all intents and purposes, deny it or blame it on someone or something else and then move on.

Mr. Jang had given us until that evening to tell him what our intentions were. I had gone to my office and called my boss and told her what had happened. She was shocked and immediately got the appropriate people to begin searching for a place for us to move by June 20.

That evening we told Mr. Jang that we would be moving and that we were upset that we had such little notice from him...we were suspicious about the timing.

The next day I talked to Mr. Jang's wife, Donna is her English name. She told me she was sorry, but because they owned 6 houses it was getting expensive for them. In Korea you can only own 1 house and then you get taxed heavily for additional properties. Hmmmm....

They had decided to sell the house to someone to alleviate the tax problem...no sick friend after all!

the post before (2 days earlier)

Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-chaaanges!!!
June 18, 2006

If you live here in Korea, get accustomed to changes.

Last September a student of my Fiancee, Mr. jang, took us to dinner and offered us something that is virtually unimaginable to most teachers here...he offered us a house, a real western-style house...to live in for free, for as long as we lived here! We were blown away, and a little suspicious. We asked how many hours a week he wanted us to teach his family. He was unequivocal in his answer..." No, nothing, just we want you to have nice plcae in Korea. I have six houses."

We left that night in shock and anticipation of living in real house again after the 400 square feet of apartment we had become accustomed to over the previous two years.

A couple of days later we saw the house and were even more shocked. It was a modern house, just a few years old, with all the amenities of modern western living and then some.

We bought furniture, a car and this spring we began landscaping the back spending a wad on plants, planters and so on.

On June 6 Mr. Jang called to ask to talk with us. Patti was out back planting more flowers at the time.

We sat down and were told that we had 2 weeks to move out. But the good news was that we could live in their basement for 2 or 3 months with the 3 kids and the brother-in-law until they built two more houses.

We felt terrible and we also felt bad about being upset because his hometown friend needed to live outside the city because of a serious liver disease problem. The shock was tremendous, especially since we had no idea where we would move to. I had been hired as a Professor here and I had told them that I did not need housing because of the situation with the house. Patti's contract with her employer is finished at the end of July, and we had been living in an apartment furnished by her school, but gave it up to another teacher in October.

[Victoria Victrix]

The take-away I get from this is that it is perfectly acceptable to lie through your teeth...phrased a bit more gracefully.  I find it interesting that the two situations (ours and the blogger's) are actually pretty similar.  Both of us are losing our homes....

My question would be what the reaction would be to having the lie exposed.

[Segev]

If it's anything like how Japanese-esq culture is presented in L5R? They will be offended that you shamed them by exposing it. They are, however, shamed. And if you do it as artfully as your letter, VV, suggests, they're shamed so hard that you might be spared actual shame, yourself, for exposing it.

It's kind-of related to Kibun; if you're so offended by the lie, so hurt by it, that it is impossible to ignore it and politely hide the spectacle, then it's their fault for being so discourteous and insincere. The sticky point is if they sounded believable enough that you calling them out is rude rather than inevitable.

[Victoria Victrix]

If it's anything like how Japanese-esq culture is presented in L5R? They will be offended that you shamed them by exposing it. They are, however, shamed. And if you do it as artfully as your letter, VV, suggests, they're shamed so hard that you might be spared actual shame, yourself, for exposing it.

It's kind-of related to Kibun; if you're so offended by the lie, so hurt by it, that it is impossible to ignore it and politely hide the spectacle, then it's their fault for being so discourteous and insincere. The sticky point is if they sounded believable enough that you calling them out is rude rather than inevitable.

Hmm.  My initial reaction is, "well then, what can we lose?"  I'm not a studio or a company trying to buy them. 

[Segev]

The only thing we could lose is, if we do it poorly, the respect of those in front of whom we're trying to shame NCSoft. I think your proposed letter, if it somehow slipped out, would be an artful way to do it. Especially if the out-slippage could be politely pretended to be unintentional. (Polite pretense is a HUGE part of the Eastern mindset, it seems. The "don't make a scene" and "tell a white lie to protect others' feelings" sort of thing.)

[Victoria Victrix]

The only thing we could lose is, if we do it poorly, the respect of those in front of whom we're trying to shame NCSoft. I think your proposed letter, if it somehow slipped out, would be an artful way to do it. Especially if the out-slippage could be politely pretended to be unintentional. (Polite pretense is a HUGE part of the Eastern mindset, it seems. The "don't make a scene" and "tell a white lie to protect others' feelings" sort of thing.)

I'll send it as it is to Mr Kim, then if we need to escalate, we need to figure out how to get it to "slip out."

[Zolgar]

I'll send it as it is to Mr Kim, then if we need to escalate, we need to figure out how to get it to "slip out."

Your letter was openly shared with the community so that those with more knowledge in these areas could help prevent you from shaming yourself by appearing such a fool and mocking the Korean culture.
It is through no fault of your own that someone chose to share it with a major new outlet or two.. ;)

[Segev]

Or include it in ads bought in major Korean papers...