Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)

[Paragon Avenger]

Sources revealed to this reporter, that the IP license deal has been inked, yay!
The server farm is being built in an undisclosed location.
A fairly buggy version of Issue 24 Beta is being debugged and will be ran on the new servers.
The user accounts have been copied over minus credit card information.
The only snag is, after the shut-down announcement, some players did things to their accounts that need correcting.
Like some players made 'tribute' toons in violation of copyright laws and the rules of the game.
Other players created less than flattering AE story arcs involving South Korean businessmen.
Some players went so far as to make South Korean Businessmen Villains.
So, each and every account will need to be closely examined for such violations and those violations removed.
It is estimated that that process could take three years.

Talks are still on-going.

[Paragon Avenger]

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, Codewalker for that REAL topic.
I set notify on and now I can ignore the titan formums altogether.

That's really all I wanted, was a weekly post or an offical topic that would say when I should get City of Heroes re-installed and start playing.

Did I say thank you?

What does the National Dairy Association have to do with City of Heroes?

Anyway, thank you Codewalker.

[Paragon Avenger]

This just in,
Nothing has happened since October of 2014.
The NCSoft executives have been reviewing the proof of developer viability, during their spare time, and the THeM has been re-inacting scenes from the first Kung Fu Panda movie.
So, pretty much everything is right on track.

[Paragon Avenger]

Today, it was announced that Atlas Park Revival will feature pants in the costume creator.  Sources close to the story had been worried about a glitch in the software that somehow made the pants files unavailable.

A spokesman for MWM was quoted as saying that this is a big relief because pantless avatars in that game could possible draw players away from City of Titans.

More pants related news as the details become available.

[Paragon Avenger]

This just in,

I'm wearing pants.

[Paragon Avenger]

This just in,

Somebody went back in time and made it so City of Heroes never existed.
Can you igamine the nerve, to make it so ummm, whats it never ... What was I talking about?

[Eoraptor]

In news today, it has been announced that Pants will now be a veteran rewards feature in City of Heroes. They will be available after eleven months of paid play time has been utilized. The 12 month reward will be the ability to block out the anatomically detailed mesh renders which non pants-utilizing players are equipped with from day one.

in related news, one year and lifetime subscriptions to City of Heroes are selling at a record pace.

[Joshex]

This just in,

Somebody went back in time and made it so City of Heroes never existed.
Can you igamine the nerve, to make it so ummm, whats it never ... What was I talking about?

oddly enough that's a true reaction to time change, but those involved in changing it still have lingering memories which they start to believe were just daydreams.

[Paragon Avenger]

oddly enough that's a true reaction to time change, but those involved in changing it still have lingering memories which they start to believe were just daydreams.

I got one right!

[Paragon Avenger]

This just in,

In City of Titans you will have travel powers and vehicles.
Also, for every year you subscribe, you can have the option of skipping that many levels.
Also, every time you successfully complete a task force you get a permenant battle pet.
And (insert some cool thing you always wanted in a game)

[Floride]

This just in...
Joss Whedon has purchased the rights to the superhero video game City of Heroes in the hopes of making it a successful TV show that will get cancelled early by Fox.

[Paragon Avenger]

This just in,
I'm not wearing pants.
That's right, I am pantsless.
There will be no film, sorry.

[Paragon Avenger]

This just in,
I got a better offer.

[Paragon Avenger]

I'm back.
It turns out that at that other job, they wanted me to wear pants all the time.
I'm a free spirit, sometimes pants get in the way.

[Floride]

This just in...
Korean Game Developer NCSoft has announced it is relaunching a game it says it "should never have shut down". Fans of the game have deluged NCSoft for years begging it to bring back their beloved MMO. Early fall 2015 gamers will finally be able to log back in to Tabula Rasa!

[Paragon Avenger]

This just in,

Codewalker has created an exact duplicate of City of Heroes complete with server support.  The only problem is that farming on Freedom server crashes the whole system.  For this reason and others, only well trusted friends know that the URL is http://www.coh-codewalker.com/secret?pswrd=free2play so you didn't hear it from me.

[Paragon Avenger]

Lighten up, it's FAKE news after all.

[Paragon Avenger]

This just in,

No Teddy Bears will be involved with the re-launch of City of Heroes.
So if you were worried about that, rest assured ... and seek help---weirdo.

[Eoraptor]

The City of Heroes game server was relaunched last night, however, due to the fact of a discrepancy in its time settings coinciding with Daylight Savings Time, it remains unreachable to anyone not already living one hour in the future.

[Floride]

This just in,

No Teddy Bears will be involved with the re-launch of City of Heroes.
So if you were worried about that, rest assured ... and seek help---weirdo.

@T_Ruxpin wants a word with you. Just remember... I don't know you and we never met.