Gardenning

[Joshex]

ok, yeah you'll probably be surprised that I have so many hobbies, but yes gardenning is one of them

Today  I'm going to give you some tips to protect your lawn against dandelions.

The dandelion is not a native plant to america it is one of the main reasons that lead to certain flora being banned from being grown in certain countries.

Dandelions originated in europe, the french often slip thier leaves into salads because they are an easy leafy plant to grow and you can often times harvest all thier leaves without killing the plant.

I strongly suggest caution in eating dandelion leaves, the dandelion plant contains a poison which can be found coursing through it's viens in it's stalk, the poison is white and milky and will make you sick if you eat it, the highest concentration fo the toxin is in the stalk however there is still some toxin in the leaves, so take care. the poison is chemical not bacterial or cellular, so it cannot be boiled out, the toxin will cause indigestion and possibly mild cold like symptoms such as dizziness, diarrehea and vomiting if eaten in large quantities.

Dandelions were not so much of a problem in early europe and were often intentionally grown in gardens for thier hardiness and bright yellow and fragrant flowers.

they are not a problem in europe because the soil's chemical composition is different than here and the dandelion plan cannot spread as readily, the air also has a different chemical composition than america which helps stop the plant from spreading.

It all started with a british lady, she thought it would be nice to bring some seeds to the american colonies and plant them in her garden. and now, only a few hundred years later they have covered the entire united states and parts of canada. our soil is less harsh than in britain so the dandelion finds it quite soothing to grow in. our air composition allows the plant to breath more clearly allowing rapid development and adaptation into multiple species that can now be found in america. including a desert hardy taller varieties which can be found in southern states and desert states.

The Ecosystem in america supplied the dandelion with insectoid allies and grass that is less dense so it can easily find a hole to root itself in, often times it is Ants that spread the dandelions not the wind, you can often find a dandelion sticking up trough or next to an ant colony, the reason being is the ants harvest the dandelion seeds for the winter taking them underground into thier colonies which are typically spread widely accross your lawn in america, Ants also pollinate the flowers of the dandelion! so take care to remove the flowers!. Dandelions come from the french words meaning "tooth of the lion" the reason being is the root of a dandelion goes straight down sometimes upto 3-4 feet into the ground, it resembles a lion's tooth, the root can survive without sunlight for years so if the ants bury it 5 feet below, it will make a 5 foot root to reach the surface which may take upto 3 years.

Even if you uproot all the dandelion plants you can see there are still others which were set to come up soon or in a year or 2, so getting rid of dandelions will be a multi year project (unless you gouge out a pit 5 ft deep where your lawn used to be)

Some grass seed resellers will include dandelion seeds in the mixture So watch out!! this should be illegal but they still do it. make sure what you are buying is pure grass seed and test the seeds in pots or other contained sections of dirt first before planting elsewhere. if dandelions come up with the grass I suggest reporting the seed company to the federal wildlife commission and or sueing them for attempting to cause a grievance in your lawn.

dandelions root contains the same poison as the stem, the poison is a deterant to other plants that want to grow near by, it makes thier roots weaker, so dandelions can actually thin your grass over a period of time making bare dirt sections for more dandelions and other weeds.

Dandelion's defense mechanism! : dandelions cannot use this defense mechanism in europe because the chemical composition in the air and soil disallows it. but in america this chemical can easily spread over a wide region through the air and ground. The chemical is emitted when you uproot or pluck or break off any part of the plant, infact the chemical is the very poison I spoke of earlier, when subjected to air allot of it evaporates and wafts away in an invisible cloud, this cloud tells all the other dandelions in the area "DANGER I'VE BEEN DAMAGED OUR SPECIES IS POSSIBLY AT AND END IN THIS REGION, FLOWER!!! GO TO FLOWER!!! GO TO SEED IF YOU CAN!! QUICKLY!! OUR SPECIES MUST SURVIVE!! "

at this point even those small sundried and almost dead plants will suddenly bud and flower healthy flowers within the next 24 hours, usually over night, also any roots will also get the message as the chemical is released into the dirt if the root is broken, then all roots in the area make an insane push for the surface and if there wasn't a plant there yesterday there will be a huge adult with multiple flowers by morning.

after a plant has been pulled Immediately seal it/them in a plastic bag to avoid the plant doing 2 things it's prone to do; 1: send out a waft of it's chemical into the air, 2: Go to flower OR go to seed anyways even though it has no sunlight water or air!!.

this is why we have laws against bringing plants from other countries that are on our banned list.

if you want to get rid of your dandelion problem it wont be easy, some people replace thier lawns, digging out the old and replacing it with fresh store bought dirt and pure grass seed, possibly with that black garden plastic underneath to stop any plants from beneath from growing through causing them to rot and become bug and worm food.

that is one method, the other method will take years, you need to pluck up the dandelions by their entire root before they go to seed then spray an anti weed chemical into the hole, repeat this on each dandelion you see for 3 years, this process may kill your grass so be preparred to pull it up and put down fresh grass seed where necessary.

You can legally make a complaint against your nieghbor if you lawn is clear of dandelions and they refuse to take care of thier lawn, it doesn't matter if they are on welfare you can still take them to court to force them to either remove the dandelions themselves or pay to have it done by the city. this is actually an ordinence in many parts of the USA. Or you could be nice and offer to remove the dandelions in your immediate neighbor's yards yourself but your hands will probably be all blisters by the time you're done so remember that, you don't have instant regeneration on per tick basis like in city of heroes, it will take weeks to heal.

[dwturducken]

And, this is where I run the above through a decryption algorithm to find the hidden meaning... :)

[Joshex]

And, this is where I run the above through a decryption algorithm to find the hidden meaning... :)

Lol I guess you could come up with some pretty strangee stuff if you for example took the first word on the left of each line made a sentence out of it and tried to make sense out of it. I'm just funning around of coarse and humoring you, but I will underline what would appear to be codewords for something else.

"Ok, today the countries/country's Dandelions Harvest/profit. I stalk/spied Toxin/bio checmicals Possibly, Dandelions fragrant/spread toxins they/in the air. It only finds/targets species/living creatures. The times is lawn, meaning Lion's take/kill even dandelions. Some Buying the Lawn. Dandelions weaker/are weaker. Dandelion's dissallows pluck/to take away this. At night push/strike after chemical/the bioweapon strike, This if/is if you bought them. That anti-put-down/to survive you/your experience. If is/true, yourself/you Like/want to."

lol it sounds like some terrible conspirital plot to destroy something. I will pledge that the message is fake and unintentional!!

OK OK I lied, it's a nemesis plot to get city of heroes back, cause the nemesis can't do any of thier agendas so long as the servers are offline.

Lol I can immagine the news report: "Today the corporate headquarters of NCSoft was the subject of a violent toxic gas attack, the gas; sleeping gas, knocked out everyone in the building, whereby People dressed in strangely realistic City of heroes nemesis gear entered the building with gas masks on, reports indicate the CEO of NCSoft, the CEO's lawyer, the Intellectual Property to city of heroes, the server code and save data, as well as the developer utilities and apparently 1 working pen were all kidnapped, no news as of the Nemesis's location has been given and no videos of demands or ransoms have been given at this point."

[TimtheEnchanter]

I think in the movie Phenomenon, gardening was used by the military as codes for managing a missile base. Each grouping of missiles corresponded to a different kind of flower. And 'watering' them, had something to do with maintenance or engine tests.

Yes, I just added the keyword, 'missile' to this thread.

[FlyingCarcass]

Gardening can be quite sinister.

http://youtu.be/LBDhoUZgsDo?t=48s

[dwturducken]

No matter which decryption I try, I keep coming up with 42. It's the damnedest thing...

[GuyPerfect]

Searching through the depths of the shady underground, I was able to find some harsh chemicals made by an organization that wishes to remain anonymous. This vile solution was designed to combat the spread of dandelions.

https://images.weserv.nl/?url=i.walmartimages.com%2Fi%2Fp%2F00%2F07%2F15%2F49%2F99%2F0007154999042_500X500.jpg

[Joshex]

Searching through the depths of the shady underground, I was able to find some harsh chemicals made by an organization that wishes to remain anonymous. This vile solution was designed to combat the spread of dandelions.

https://images.weserv.nl/?url=i.walmartimages.com%2Fi%2Fp%2F00%2F07%2F15%2F49%2F99%2F0007154999042_500X500.jpg

lol, you trust what it says, lol. most anit weed chemicals have some sort of claim like that these days, problem is they don't kill the tough dessert varieties of weeds and instead kill the grass... hmm now that sounds opposite the advertisement. no matter which dandelion you are removing you will need to excavate the root and put down something like you show there, don't expect to just spray it on your lawn and never have dandelions again, they'll spring back in a week or so.

[eabrace]

I prefer properly applied (i.e. point blank, narrow dispersion) Roundup.  :)

One of the many lessons in gardening that I learned from my grandfather growing up in farm country.

[Aggelakis]

... tough dessert varieties of weeds ...

Imagining tall stalks of various sweeties and cakes and things, all with angry faces and guns and knives and stuff...

[Brightfires]

I prefer properly applied (i.e. point blank, narrow dispersion) Roundup.  :)

Word.

I fight an all-out war every year with the dandelions that try to come up in my garden and little patch of lawn, and Roundup is my weapon of choice. 'Kills the evil things dead.

Now if only our neighbors would kill the ones in THEIR yards, too, so I wouldn't have to deal with the seeds that drift in and regularly replenish the ranks of the enemy. <_<

[TimtheEnchanter]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eRZ3ATORZU

[houtex]

Ow.  This whole thread.

So.. in the words of SNL Frankenstien's Monster...

Weeds BAD!  Weed Killer Good... Maybe!  Grass and Weed Killer BAD!

Got it. 

/RoundupX, btw, is great to get rid of a serious weed problem.  Get a decent sprayer and mix up a gallon or two, go to town, weeds dead in 2 days.
//Turned to mulch in a week or so, if you're lazy like me. :)
///Which probably continues the cycle, but screw it.  MOAR SPRAY ROUNDUPX!!

[Segev]

Imagining tall stalks of various sweeties and cakes and things, all with angry faces and guns and knives and stuff...

o/~ ESS YOU GEE-AY-ARR / Jump into your racing car and / SOOGAH RUSH! SOOGAH RUSH! o/~

[Segev]

Of course, the best solution in Missouri is just to not grow grass at all. Let the faux-clover that naturally wants to grow everywhere overtake your lawn. It will choke out dandylions. Also, there's no need to mow it!

[Joshex]

Of course, the best solution in Missouri is just to not grow grass at all. Let the faux-clover that naturally wants to grow everywhere overtake your lawn. It will choke out dandylions. Also, there's no need to mow it!

this FTW

[Harlequin565]

My garden used to have the blasted things everywhere. Then we got chickens :)

Not sure whether they are eating the shoots as they pop up, or whether their carp is keeping them down, but we have a lovely lush green lawn (that you can't walk on barefoot!)

The eggs are a bonus :)

-H