E! True Paragon Story

Steelclaw · August 19, 2013, 07:09:23 PM

The following are excerpts from interviews done with various Heroes and Villains from the game CoH. The interviews were candid and informal, their main goal being to get the real story behind the mask of some of the more well known personalities in Paragon and the Rogue Isles. All interviews took place in the months following the shut down of the game.

Ms. Liberty – "The thing I miss the most? I'd have to say the excitement and anticipation... the wonder... in the eyes of the new people arriving in Atlas Park and coming to me to train to 2nd level. What I miss the least? The smell. I swear... why did I have to be saddled with the zone that had a sewer run for leveling?"

Captain Mako – "It's hard making the transition. All of us are still the intellectual property of NCSoft after all. That doesn't hurt much if you're a human wearing a mask; you just take the mask off and market yourself as someone other than your old identity. My appearance severely limits my options. The Discovery Channel won't even accept my calls for Shark Week any more."

Blue Steel – "In some ways it's a relief to have it over and done. I know it started out as a joke but the whole 'Blue Steel can do ANYthing' fad got to be a bit of a burden after a while. I thought it was funny as all hell... right up until I got that letter from Chuck Norris..."

Lord Recluse – "I think it's safe to say the writers hated me. I was supposed to be the biggest bad guy on the block... then they introduce the whole 'everything's a Nemesis Plot' angle... then suddenly I'm robbing banks instead of having my hired muscle do it... oh... and let's not forget ditching me entirely to build up this new Tyrant guy... I thought them killing off my best friend was the last straw. But apparently they wanted to go lower... they did the most horrible... most despicable... thing anyone can do to a man. They resurrected my ex-girlfriend."

Positron – "I'll always miss it. I think the most painful part is I won't ever get to see where I would have ended up. When it all started I'd been trapped in my own armor for years and I have, arguably, the most gawd-awful Task Force in the game. Kind of a low starting point, ya know? But then things start looking up. I get out of the armor without blowing up. My Task Force not only gets a complete revamp, but is the only one in the game with two parts to it. I actually get a ROMANTIC story line started with a very sexy, if immaterial, lady... I tell you... it pays to be the namesake of one of the head developers."

Ghost Widow – "I'm looking forward to trying something new and more challenging. 'The Dead Can Never Change' might be a great character anchor to build a story around... but it's a bullet to the brain for character development."

Foreshadow – "I totally saw this coming... but did anyone listen to me? Nooooooo..."

Lord Nemesis – "Unlike many of the others who've found themselves out of work, I am not satisfied with collecting unemployment and crying in my coffee. After careful consideration, I believe my particular skill set could find me advantageous employment... in Marketing!"

Back Alley Brawler – "We're only taking Galaxy City for the tutorial they said... You'll always have a place here in Paragon they said..."

Wretch – "I must admit I am not as melancholy as some of my erstwhile compatriots. The cataclysmic debacle of our patron's departure may have left me currently adrift in a sea of possibilities, but at the very least I shall no longer be called upon to play the buffoon. And to think I graduated from Juilliard with honors..."

Penelope Yin – "It figures... as soon as I start getting a bigger and more central role in things, the plug gets pulled. On the other hand... at least I've stopped having nightmares about being forced to do a love scene with a brain in a jar..."

Arbiter Sands – (reading from a letter) "... dear Mister Sands... thank you for your interest in Vegas Weddings While You Wait, Inc... We will add your resume to those on record and contact you should a position become available..."

Sister Psyche – "Timing is everything."

Azuria – "I've said it before and I'll say it again... the missing office supplies had nothing to do with me... neither did the missing magical items... that time they caught me... er... found me in a pawn shop was because I was bargain hunting... I was buying... not selling... and that shop owner is a >Bleep<-ing liar!"

Statesman – "Am I sorry they killed me off? Heck no. Now that the whole thing's closed down I can tell you the truth. I ASKED them to kill off my Statesman character. The actors playing 'name' characters are salaried rather than making an hourly wage. They had me playing both Statesman and Tyrant; so I'm basically working twice the hours for the same amount of pay. I could live with that. Right up until they came out with the Hybrid Incarnate power. The only way to unlock it was to kill Tyrant... so all of a sudden I'm not even getting my union mandated fifteen minute breaks. Thank goodness someone came up just clearing the first wave of enemies in a farm or they would have seen a giant Tyrant having a nervous breakdown..."

Jim Temblor – "Yeah, Fusionette and I broke up soon after the game shut down. She started acting really strange. At first she'd run up to some of the out of work Lost guys and act like she was helpless. When that didn't work I would get calls from her twice, sometimes three times a day saying her car had broken down or she was lost. One time she claimed she'd gotten her head stuck in a burning car. I couldn't take it anymore. I heard she'd gone into therapy. She's been diagnosed with O.D.D.S.... Obsessive Distressed Damsel Syndrome..."

Television – "This concludes our Broadcast Day..."

Eoraptor · August 19, 2013, 08:00:40 PM

*applaudes*

PunkusJR · August 19, 2013, 09:28:12 PM

haha. These managed to make me smile xD

Eoraptor · August 19, 2013, 10:11:53 PM

Twinshot: It's been really hard with ICE ever since paragon closed down. All of my documentation is still in Praetoria and I constantly have to fight deportation.

Nealix · August 20, 2013, 05:36:41 PM

:)

Kaiser Tarantula · August 20, 2013, 05:41:24 PM

*comforts Lord Recluse*

You poor guy. Lemme buy you a drink or six. I know a lovely little bar just outside Vegas that has a 'no questions asked' policy about body modifications.

corvus1970 · August 20, 2013, 07:08:05 PM

Hah! Very well done :D

healix · August 20, 2013, 07:27:28 PM

Steelclaw,

https://i.imgur.com/VdK0xMY.gif

Triplash · August 21, 2013, 03:27:54 AM

Yay! Steelclaw documentaries are the bestest kind of documentaries! :D

Spoiler for zany antics:

Menrva Channel · August 30, 2013, 02:51:11 AM

That was amazing! I was more angry they killed Psyche as I kinda adored she and Manti. :/ Any parting words from Manti? (Manti, Pysche, and Sirocco were some of my favorite characters.) You had a great mixture of humor and even some poignant moments in there (like Mako). I loved the Shark Week reference!... and I miss. Television. And Doc Aeon... and everyone... :(

Also, I loved Brawler's comments! Those were awesome!

Floride · August 30, 2013, 06:35:31 AM

Mother Mayhem: My seers saw the end coming. As soon as they told me, I applied for a lateral transfer. Those arrogant NC blowhards told me I wasn't "jiggly enough" for Blade and Soul!