Man, just when I think I've cried my last time over this.... Seeing this makes me all teary eyed again--and brings back just how much I miss it. I can't put in words how much I want Paragon back. I've been ill on and off since November, largely due to the inability to help manage my ridiculous work expectations. Many a night all I've wanted to do was to go run amuck in a Mayhem Mission. Or thrash a group of skulls. Or build a new toon and roll out... But I can't. And worst of all, there's few I can talk to that understand why.
We did lose--and yet... in a way... we didn't. We made an impression on the Devs--and on each other. We're still here, trying to help each other cope. And that means something. I think Scorpion is right--Paragon has somehow found us--and keeps us hoping. And while Hope is frail, it's hard to kill. I find myself on the edge of giving up all the time--but I have to hope. I /have/ to. Because if I admit defeat, I have to admit Paragon's really gone--and it's not /really/ gone. It's in my heart--and my memories--and in my dark moments I close my eyes and fly through the skies--and hope one day I can log in one more time and do it again.
Dear Menrva,
Back in the my childhood and young adulthood, which was prior to personal computers, one's own imagination and dreams were mostly what one had. Apart from the occasional film like
The Wizard of Oz 1939, most movies and television shows like the original
Star Trek series and such often had special effects that, while cool, were hardly seamless; hence my generation's appreciation for the original
Star Wars movie with Industrial Light & Magic's innovations, and later the spectacular effects of
The Matrix. Films such as
Shrek and
Ice Age weren't possible prior to all the development in animation technology. It is part of why I often prefer reading novels to watching movies, since one makes up the movie in one's head when reading. Anyhow, enough of my rambling digressions; you are entirely correct (imo): Paragon City lives on in each of our hearts, and the experiences we had playing can never be taken from us - hence why old gaming friends from tabletop and LARP and I often enjoy recounting our "war stories" and adventures to one another, recalling with fondness the fun times we shared. I'm sorry you've been ill and I hope you now enjoy good health. I can certainly appreciate why after a long day of work and related pressures one would want to blow off steam, especially in the MMORPG one had come to love. In fact I think I am kinda lucky in having gotten into MMORP gaming so late. My generation didn't have this diversion until the mid 1990's. I still recall a very unsophisticated computer
Star Trek game that I could play after hours in high school, where via a telephone modem (this is mid 1970's so no cell phone tech etc) and the game was played on a teletype - no graphics or monitor, nothing but keyboard characters on paper.
Your name looks like a clever way to spell the name of the Greco-Roman goddess of Wisdom, Minerva. Don't kid yourself, we lost, tho yet may prevail. At minimum, as you note none can take your experiences of playing CoH from you. I hope you have found new recreations. Back in my 20s and 30's I subscribed to a value of Work Hard/Play Hard and my social set and I took our recreation seriously, from tabletop gaming (dice, paper, pen and our collective imaginations and story telling! What inexpensive entertainment) to cards (i like bridge) to karate classes to music parties, discussion groups (we liked F&SF lit) etc. together. While the internet enriches us and brings the people of the planet closer together in understanding, there is still a whole world out there offline. I am not quite housebound but nearly, and have found online discussion groups (forums) as well persons around the world to Skype with to have the video phone calls shown only on kid's TV shows (The Jetsons - guess I'll believe wiki, I thought it was George Jettson.) Books, movies and music abound at your public library as well as online. I am increasingly surfing youtube to hear what Generation X and others have to say from Europe and elsewhere on various topics. You might even consider a yoga or tai chi class. Healthy mind in a Healthy body and all that. I hope more of your friends can empathize from what you write or tell them. Losing CoH was personally devastating, and it would have been worse for me, but I'd already experienced deep loss and grieving, a silver lining from decades of living. I know that for many younger women and men this loss will have been their first experience with a significant loss. I would extend to you, if welcome, my deepest, most sincere condolences. Harvesting silver linings from grief isn't a fun experience, but I think you already have things in perspective - and as the old saying goes, when life hands you lemons, make lemonade! Best wishes to you in life's journey!
