Author Topic: How are you handling the loss?  (Read 166313 times)

Tiriahna KnightRose

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #60 on: December 04, 2012, 08:18:17 AM »
I feel... broken. It feels like a part of me has been cut away.

I work two jobs. I don't get out much, and when I do, it's with my coworkers.

I don't get along with my family. Not in the "occasional argument, possible fight, but still always there at funerals and christmas" fashion. I don't claim a good portion of my family anymore, and those I do claim are mostly because I got lonely and they came looking for me to apologize over things. And to make sure I wasn't dead.

Some days I work both jobs. Which means I'm working for a good twelve hours. When I come home, I'm exhausted, starving and grumpy. Then I get... got on coh. I would get on the team with my husband, KnightHawk Prime, and our friends. I'd say hi and get an immediate "TIRI!" or "Welcome Home!" In several cases it was "TIRI! Heard you had a bad day, lets fix that!" and a few times it was, "Tiri! We have a suprise for you! TWO 50S! Hope it makes your day better."

So how am I handling it? Ask me again Thursday, when I've worked both jobs for two days in a row. I keep thinking maybe if I type /sync, it will fix it?

Colette

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #61 on: December 04, 2012, 08:45:30 AM »
I hope you'll all forgive me, this thread is interesting from a psychological and a spiritual point of view.

The things you're all writing about here are not the tantrum of a child for a lost toy, or the pain of an addict in withdrawal. It seems to me the symbolic loss of characters we've all invested in reminds us all uncomfortably of our own mortality. One poster here called midnight the hour "reserved for executions." We know we all must die... someday. But this experience of "virtual death" has forced us to confront our mortality in a frightfully visceral way.

Moreover, we together experienced "the end of the world." A poster here mentioned "On the Beach," and I think we have together endured something that, at least emotionally, makes us feel very much like what the characters in that story must have experienced. I myself had no desire to remain for the final shutdown; is this so different from those in the book who, pointlessly, committed suicide rather than naturally perish?

What a dreadful trauma we have endured together! The catastrophe is virtual, but the grief is real.

But if I may... suppose we succeed in prying "the world" from the clutches of "the devil?" Suppose one day, the torches re-ignite in the now pitch-black Atlas Park. Will we not, together, have emotionally experienced the "resurrection" of our virtual selves and restoration of the world in something very like the visions and prophesies of the world's faiths? I expect more than one "hallelujah!" would be heard over the broadcast channels.

The eu-catastrophe would be virtual, but the joy would be real. That... oh, that would be something to experience, now wouldn't it?

"It goes like this, the fourth, the fifth...."
« Last Edit: December 04, 2012, 09:04:31 AM by Colette »

Tiriahna KnightRose

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #62 on: December 04, 2012, 09:06:25 AM »
I hope you'll all forgive me, this thread is interesting from a psychological and a spiritual point of view.

The things you're all writing about here are not the tantrum of a child for a lost toy, or the pain of an addict in withdrawal. It seems to me the symbolic loss of characters we've all invested in reminds us all uncomfortably of our own mortality. One poster here called midnight the hour "reserved for executions." We know we all must die... someday. But this experience of "virtual death" has forced us to confront our mortality in a frightfully visceral way.

Moreover, we together experienced "the end of the world." A poster here mentioned "On the Beach," and I think we have together endured something that, at least emotionally, makes us feel very much like what the characters in that story must have experienced. I myself had no desire to remain for the final shutdown; is this so different from those in the book who, pointlessly, committed suicide rather than naturally perish?

What a dreadful trauma we have endured together! The catastrophe is virtual, but the grief is real.

But if I may... suppose we succeed in prying "the world" from the clutches of "the devil?" Suppose one day, the torches re-ignite in the now pitch-black Atlas Park. Will we not, together, have emotionally experienced the "resurrection" of our virtual selves and restoration of the world in something very like the visions and prophesies of the world's faiths? I expect more than one "hallelujah!" would be heard over the broadcast channels.

The eu-catastrophe would be virtual, but the joy would be real. That... oh, that would be something to experience, now wouldn't it?

"It goes like this, the fourth, the fifth...."

You have a way with words that most of us can only dream of.  Thank you.

Knightslayer

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #63 on: December 04, 2012, 10:46:01 AM »
I've played one. In fact, she was my last level 50.

Believe me, it doesn't help :(
Yep... no Psi defenses or resists... =/

ohms

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #64 on: December 04, 2012, 10:54:51 AM »
Quote
How are you handling the loss?

Not well.

TonyV

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #65 on: December 04, 2012, 11:01:47 AM »

Nishastra

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #66 on: December 04, 2012, 01:24:54 PM »
It's funny, I hadn't actually been playing since well before the announcement (got tired of the solo Incarnate grind), but I had a dream a few days ago that there was still some alternate way to play it that I just hadn't thought about before for some reason.  After that I was sad.

I spent thousands upon thousands of hours in CoH.  Looking at my Amazon order history, in the mid 2000s almost everything was CoH.  So many time cards I bought, and I had every edition and preorder of CoH and CoV on my account.  It wasn't a game I played continuosly (I never play anything for more than a couple of months at a time), but it's something I always came back to.

And now, obviously, I can't do that any more.  It gets more sad the more I think about it.


I've tried numerous times to get into CO, but I just don't like it.  I can't seem to make a character I like the look of, as I don't really like the art style at all.  That's pretty much the beginning and end of it for me.  I can't play a character I don't like.

In DCUO it's pretty easy to make a nice-looking character, as you have extremely limited customization options!  I played the game to completion on a Joker villain in about a week, and then there was really no reason to go back...  I could have at least played some kind of hero through since they have different areas, but I couldn't even get myself to do that.

Maybe I'll try CO again.  I'm willing to bet I uninstall it after 5 minutes, though :P

Colette

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #67 on: December 04, 2012, 04:48:35 PM »
"You have a way with words that most of us can only dream of.  Thank you."

Very kind of you. :: Bows. ::

"I want you spitting mad, but I also want you healthy physically and mentally for the battle.  To anyone who is having a genuinely hard time handling the shutdown, please seek help if you need it."

Hear hear! I said this early on: while the game isn't real, your grief is and you must take it seriously. Also remember what de Lachos (by way of Khan) taught us about revenge....

[Invul has] no Psi defenses or resists..."

Funny... a month ago I helped our beloved Ascendant respec, and gave him an anti-psi invul build that worked very well.  :)

srmalloy

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #68 on: December 04, 2012, 04:51:39 PM »
It's curious how many things yank me back to Paragon City. Just this morning, I opened a Gawker article on banning public subsidies for private companies, and it had this picture as the leader:


link if the image doesn't display

My first thought was "The old Portal Corps buildings in the northwest corner of the Hive".

Dollhouse

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #69 on: December 04, 2012, 05:04:21 PM »
It's curious how many things yank me back to Paragon City. Just this morning, I opened a Gawker article on banning public subsidies for private companies, and it had this picture as the leader:


link if the image doesn't display

My first thought was "The old Portal Corps buildings in the northwest corner of the Hive".

That one actually yanks me back to Fallen Earth more than CoH...but I know what you mean. I see things all the time that just scream "Paragon City" to me. I live in an old part of Portland, and there are a lot of commemorative plaques and such on historical buildings. When I see one, I get the overpowering urge to click it...   :(

NecrotechMaster

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #70 on: December 04, 2012, 06:45:44 PM »
It's curious how many things yank me back to Paragon City. Just this morning, I opened a Gawker article on banning public subsidies for private companies, and it had this picture as the leader:


link if the image doesn't display

My first thought was "The old Portal Corps buildings in the northwest corner of the Hive".

that image reminds me of the sun setting in sharkhead isle behind the hellforge (which if looked at from the right angle would look similar to the cryptic logo)

also when i think about hellforge, i think of ncsoft

Twisted Toon

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #71 on: December 04, 2012, 08:06:45 PM »

[Invul has] no Psi defenses or resists..."

Funny... a month ago I helped our beloved Ascendant respec, and gave him an anti-psi invul build that worked very well.  :)
Warshades don't come with Psi resists either. I managed to gain 12% through set bonuses.

It helped a little against the BP.
Hope never abandons you, you abandon it. - George Weinberg

Hope ... is not a feeling; it is something you do. - Katherine Paterson

Nobody really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy. - Cynthia Nelms

Epelesker

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #72 on: December 04, 2012, 09:10:58 PM »
I've actually taken it relatively well.

As I've mentioned in other places, been playing Champions Online since September. I made sure to set up the UI and controls similar to how I had them in City, and that's done wonders in terms of getting used to the game and ultimately enjoying it (dare I say) just as much as the old game.

NeutronPixie

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #73 on: December 04, 2012, 09:37:09 PM »
Saturday night I had a dream. I was sitting in the Shadow Shard, watching the colors. I woke up thinking I simply hadn't taken enough screen shots.. I thought I had, but I hadn't. Crashing sadness again.

...to sooth it, I come here.. I play TOR... I play a little CO... and I write.

Maybe that will be the legacy of CoH.. I will write and shadows of my time in CoH will be reflected there...

ahmpizzedoff

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #74 on: December 04, 2012, 10:11:18 PM »
On the day they announced CoH was being shut down, our SG lost one of our members to cancer. A dedicated player, we all felt a terrible pain between losing one of our SG family and then finding we were also going to lose CoH.

I continued to play hoping the end was just a joke concocted by the Devs for the opening of I24. Guess not, It was just wishful thinking. I stayed till the very end that last night. About 20 minutes from the end, an Admin, Heat Sink I think was the name, came on and announced the servers would be shutting down in 20 minutes. Again he came on and announced they would be shutting down in 10 minutes and made a comment, not verbatim, "I wish this wasn't happening. If it were up to me this would not happen. We've had a helluva ride together" Then for the final time he again came on, said," It's been a helluva ride. Fly Free," and about 2:10 AM Central time my screen locked up and CoH was no more.

The reality had finally hit. All of us not only lost CoH, we lost friends, family and a community. Now it's up to us to act as the Heroes we once were and fight to regain our community and CoH. With some luck and the perserverance of a Hero we will get our CoH back. Like that Admin. said, "FLY FREE," and fight to get our friends, family, community and CoH back.
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houtex

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #75 on: December 05, 2012, 02:24:57 AM »
First, sorry to hear of the loss.  Never is something I can express well with words.  Feels just don't work with my hands/mouth very well. :(
 
---
 
I, for my part, am doing ok-ish. 

I was thinking this afternoon, though, about how I *won't* be able to log in and beat the hell out of some baddie who desperately needed 'arresting', because I really could use that.

But otherwise, yeah... I had made peace with things about a month ago.  I made my projects, did them, felt pretty satisfied at The End, and still have some hope that our beloved City will rise again. 

Still miss it a little, but doin'.. ok-ish.  Yeah.  Really wanna play, and visit in game, but... It is what it is, and I must cope, so I am.

Colette

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #76 on: December 05, 2012, 05:19:29 AM »
Gee... I didn't mention, did I? On the Saturday after Black Friday, my family lost our sealpoint Birman. That was a really bad weekend. She was only eleven, too.

We now have an adorable black kitten who fills the hole wonderfully. Anyway, I know a cat's nothing to losing someone to cancer. Still, sorrows come not single file, but in battalions.

corvus1970

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #77 on: December 05, 2012, 07:42:44 AM »
"When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions" - Claudius in HAMLET

So very, very true. Superb quote to have in mind Colette.

And I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your cat.
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johnrobey

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #78 on: December 05, 2012, 08:31:12 AM »
After server shut down and finding the official forums closed, I came over to Titan and started this thread: http://www.cohtitan.com/forum/index.php/topic,6503.0.html   In addition to sharing and my ridiculously long posts there's advice from a player with experience as a Bereavement Counselor and other resources have been linked.

Friends made in-game have many of them become RL friends, and we keep in contact.  I'd cleared this weekend just past to allow time for grieving.  At this point I feel a LOT better.  I've allowed myself several emotional wallows and can now watch the Last ITF Ever youtube vid and others without tears, at least this evening.  The sorrow isn't all out until it is.  Sharing with the community has helped me tons, and I've made TN my "home" server, largely substituting these forums for time I'd have spent in game.  I'm lucky also in having non-CoH friends listen sympathetically.  They didn't play City of Heroes but they "got it" and understood.

Otherwise like just about everyone, I have other interests and activities to turn my attention to, but I'm not ready yet; thus other than activities like housework, I'm reading and posting to these forums as I regain my equilibrium.  Best wishes, regards and hugs to everyone in the Community.
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Victoria Victrix

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Re: How are you handling the loss?
« Reply #79 on: December 05, 2012, 10:23:07 AM »
I will go down with this ship.  I won't put my hands up in surrender.  There will be no white flag above my door.  I'm in love, and always will be.  Dido