Where Have All The Heroes Gone: #4 - Task Force

[Paragon Avenger]

"Kolissa, I was worried about you.  Until the doctor says that it is safe, you are not to leave the Hero Corps building."  Ms. Liberty scolded.
"I went to every church in town.  Nobody needs an Arachnos has-been."  Kolissa stated.
"Now Kolissa, you are not a has-been."  Super Fire Dragon said.
"Kolissa, you are my favorite hero."  The Fattinator said.
"Why is he here?  I thought this was for invited guests only."  Kolissa asked.
"Kolissa, this is The Fattinator.  He will be helping out the team until you recover."  Ms. Liberty said.
"I don't like it.  It's too yellow.  Where's the bookend?"  Kolissa said starting to get upset.
"Kolissa, it's alright.  The Fattinator could you give us some privacy?"  Ms. Liberty said.
"Kolissa, I hope you get better soon."  The Fattinator said as he left the room.
"He's nice, but his costume needs more yellow.  And he needs to do something about those doorknobs.  Am I right or am I right?"  Kolissa asked.
"Kolissa, we are all pulling for you."  SFD said.
"Listen, girlfriend, anything you need consider it my pleasure."  Rare Earth offered.
"Super Fire Dragon is taller than The Fattinator, when they are both standing on marshmallows made of seven innuendoes."  Kolissa said.
"I don't think that word means what you think it means."  Flower Night said.
"Flower Knight!  You came to help me!  I knew you would, the elves said 'Posituck', but I knew you would come."  Kolissa said.
"I'm not Flower .. "  Flower Night began.
"It's ok, Flower Knight.  She's seen you.  Now you can return to your work."  Ms. Liberty said to Flower Night with a wink.
"Oh-oh, yes.  My work.  My work must continue.  Kolissa, get better."  Flower Night said as she left the room.
"How can I get better without any apple-butter?  How many times must I tell you people, apple-butter is the key?  Sure, you have liverwurst.  Everybody knows that liverwurst without apple-butter is inedible."  Kolissa complained.
"She's not making sense, but she talks to people instead of the décor, now."  Ms. Liberty.
"Kolissa, do you remember when you tricked Lord Nemisis?"  Vince Dastardly asked.
"I sure do."  Kolissa said with a laugh.
"It was brilliant."  Vince dastardly agreed.
"Yup, he'll never suspect that we switched his coffee with dandruff shampoo."  Kolissa laughed.
"Well, so much for that idea."  Vince Dastardly said disappointedly.
"Nice try Vince."  SFD said.
"He'll take a step and wham the snow-blower won't start.  What a great prank!"  Kolissa said still laughing.
Just then the doctor walked in.
"Hello Dr. X-Rays."  Ms. Liberty said.
"Hello Ms. Liberty, glad to see you again.  And how is our patient?"  Dr. X-Rays asked.
"Hello Doc, I was just telling them about the time I coat hangar the guy in the frog hat with salami."  Kolissa said.
"I see.  Kolissa, I want to ask you a question.  I want you to think hard about this question before answering.  Ok?"  Dr. X-Rays asked.
"Sure Doc, I got lots of plumbers."  Kolissa said.
"Ok, now think hard about this.  If you spill a glass of milk, where does the milk go?"  Dr. X-Rays asked.
"Let me think.  The goat will swim the Nile, but are you going to eat movie tickets without cheese?"  Kolissa asked.
"Yes, of course, but what about my question?"  Dr. X-Rays insisted.
"Oh, yes.  Doctor.  I must help you with that milk situation."  Kolissa said.
"That's right.  What do you think is the answer?"  Dr. X-Rays said.
"Yes, milk.  What flavor is the milk?"  Kolissa asked.
"Plain old whole milk."  Dr. X-Rays stated.
"Can it be skim milk instead, I'm watching my figure."  Kolissa asked.
"I'm watching it too."  SFD said.
"Dragon, don't interrupt."  Ms. Liberty said.
"Please, can you take your pets outside?"  Dr. X-Rays pleaded.
"Doctor, the milk runs out of the glass and makes a mess."  Kolissa said confidently.
"Oh."  Ms. Liberty inhaled with a tear in her eye.
"She's back!"  Ice Mannix said.
"Yes, Ice.  I'm back."  Kolissa said.
"You have made tremendous progress, Kolissa.  I am very confident that you will recover."  Dr. X-Rays said satisfied.
"Thanks, that is some medication you gave me."  Kolissa said.
"The wonders of modern medicine.  I'll be back tomorrow.  You get plenty of rest, you've earned it."  Dr. X-Rays ordered.
"Yes, doctor.  And thanks."  Kolissa said.
"Kolissa, no more talk about doorknobs or liverwurst?"  Ms. Liberty asked.
"Ms. Liberty, it was strange.  Part of it was the medicine.  That stuff really brings me back to center, but part of it was being asked to help somebody.  I need to help people.  I was thinking about what the doctor said.  The glass of milk was spilled.  Where did the milk go?  And those other thoughts went away.  It is such a relief.  Those other thoughts were so tiresome."  Kolissa explained.
"Well you rest now."  Ms. Liberty said.
"No, I want to help catch Giovanna."  Kolissa said.
"You're in no shape to do field work."  SFD said.
"I know that.  I want to help here, at HQ.  I want to keep busy.  I need to help."  Kolissa said.
"You need to help yourself."  Ms. Liberty said.
"Please, give me something to do!"  Kolissa begged.
"Alright, you can analyze these surveilence photos and determine which zone Giovanna might be in."  Ms. Liberty said as she walked over to her desk, picked up a file folder and handed it to Kolissa.
"Thank you, thank you.  I won't let you down, Ms. Liberty."  Kolissa said.
"I thought we already decided that Giovanna is in Brickstown in a Freakshow base."  SFD whispered to Ms. Liberty as the two left the room.
"We have,"  Ms. Liberty said in reply,  "But I can't trust Kolissa's opinions just yet, so I gave her a test."  Ms. Liberty said.
"You are a crafty one."  SFD said.

[Paragon Avenger]

"The Fattinator, sir, could you fire up your team transport?"  Vince Dastardly said still in fear of this over-sized yellow maniac with the power to summons and control deadly robots.
"You mean that we might actually be going to a mission?"  The Fattinator said in surprise after having to wait only a couple of posts.  What's his hurry?  He's only going to get killed in a couple more posts anyway.  Did I type that out-loud?  No, the Fattinator won't get killed, keep reading, nothing to see here.
"Yes, The Fattinator, we are ready to go on a mission and track down that no good, Giovanna."  Rare Earth said.
"But first, let's check in on Necrophillia."  Marshal Darkness said.
"I love going on missions with a big team."  Flower Night said.
"Why's that?"  Ice Mannix asked.
"I don't have to work as hard."  Flower Night admitted.
They all laughed.
"So is everybody ready to go after Giovanna in Brickstown?"  Super Fire Dragon asked as he walked back into the room wiping his paws on a brown paper towel.
"I was born ready and grew up willing."  Rare Earth said.
"Let's roll."  Ice Mannix shouted.
"Great, but first, let's check in with Necrophillia."  SFD said.
"Augh!"  Ice Mannix groaned.
Super Fire Dragon walked over to Ms. Liberty's desk and flipped a toggle.
"Necrophillia, report to Ms. Liberty's office immediately."  SFD said into the desk intercom system.
"What-a, you want how many soups for lunch."  The Italian chef said over the intercom.
"Fool, Dragon.  Let me do it."  Rare Earth said.
Rare Earth walked over to Ms. Liberty's desk and told the chef that it was a mistake.
"Necrophillia, girlfriend, get your scrawny butt up here."  Rare Earth said into the intercom.
"Oh yeah, that's much better.  Here, let me do it."  Vince Dastardly said as he pulled the intercom closer to him.
"Necrophillia.  Necrophillia, calling Necrophillia.  Necrophillia please report to Ms. Liberty's office ASAP."  Vince Dastardly said into the intercom.
"Vince, not everybody knows what ASAP means.  Here give it to me."  Ice Mannix demanded.
"Necrophillia, report to Ms. Liberty's office, on-the-double.  Move it mister."  Ice Mannix said into the intercom.
"That's no way to call somebody, even if it is Necrophillia.  Here let me do it."  The Fattinator said as he tore the intercom box away from Ice.
"Necrophillia, please report to Ms. Liberty's office for team assignment and training."  The Fattinator said.
"No that's wrong!  Give it here."  SFD said as he struggled to get control over the intercom.
"No, you fools, let me handle it."  Marshal Darkness said as grabbed the intercom.
"Let go, I'll do it."  Vince Dastardly said as he pulled on the intercom wires trying to get control over the device.
"Stop it!  This is not a toy.  It is an intercom.  It is used for official business only.  I shall be in control of it.  Just because I hit the wrong button the first time, doesn't mean that I'm not an expert with it."  SFD said with authority.
"Necrophillia, report to Ms. Liberty's office, and bring cheese."  SFD said into the intercom.
"Now you wants the cheese, what da matter with you."  The Italian chef said over the intercom.
"Why do I keep getting that guy?"  SFD said.
"Because you don't know what you are doing, never have, never will."  Ice Mannix said.
"What?  Why you."  SFD said as he put a fire circle around Ice.
Ice made freezing rain fall and put out the fire.  SFD fire cinders at Ice.  Ice ducked and the cinders hit Flower Night.  Ice set a bolt of ice towards SFD.  The dragon flapped his wings and dodged the attack.  Flower Night recovering from the cinders, shot a fist full of arrows at SFD.  Ice moved accidently into the line of fire and caught several of the arrows.  SFD used combustion to get everyone's attention.  Ice Mannix put a patch of ice under Flower Night's feet causing her to fall to the floor.  Marshal Darkness summoned his zombies and had them yell, "Time Out!"  The Fattinator called up his robots to guard him from stray ice, fire and arrows.  Vince Dastardly got so frightened by the display of powers that he became invisible and hid.  SFD used breath of fire at Ice Mannix just as Ice Mannix was about to punch him with an ice covered fist.  The fire melted away the ice.  Rare Earth grabbed the intercom.
"Necrophillia, what are you doing, girl?  Now get yourself up to Ms. Liberty's office.  You're missing Ice and the dragon going at it."  Rare Earth said into the intercom.
"What is going on in here?"  Ms. Liberty asked at the top of her voice as she walked into her office and saw the mess.
Ice Mannix and Super Fire Dragon didn't hear her as they continued fighting.  Ice threw a left upper cut.  The dragon retaliated by throwing a fireball at him.  Ice ducked and the fireball found the drapes.  Ice throw another ice bolt at the dragon.  SFD dodged the ice and used embers on Ice.  The ice bolt hit Ms. Liberty sending her flying to the floor.  Ice started coughing and choking, but before SFD could move in for the kill, Rare Earth encased him in stone.
"Melissa!  I had him."  SFD shouted.
"Listen, you two, if you're going to fight, take it outside."  Rare Earth said.
"Marshall, help me!"  Flower Night cried as she fought the blazing drapes.
"Just look at this mess!"  Ms. Liberty shouted shaking off the effects of the ice bolt and getting to her feet.
"He started it."  SFD and Ice Mannix said in unison.
Ms. Liberty reached for her desk intercom only to find it broken.
"Longbow!  Assemble!"  Ms. Liberty shouted.
Just then the Italian chef walked in with 12 bowls of cream of cheese soup.
"Ms. Liberty, I make-a good soup for you.  I used extra cheese.  Special, just for you."  The Italian chef said.
They all laughed.
"Thank you, chef."  Ms. Liberty said to the Italian chef.
"Gratzie."  The Italian chef said as he left the room.
"Now, the rest of you, OUT!  Get out!  OUT!  OUT!  OUT!"  Ms. Liberty shouted.
"So does this mean that I don't get any cheese soup?"  Vince Dastardly asked.
"Dude, even I'm not foolish enough to ask that."  SFD advised Vince Dastardly.

[Paragon Avenger]

"Have they left for the task force mission?"  Ms. Liberty asked The Longbow Warden.
"Yes, they left for Brickstown a little while ago."  The Longbow Warden answered.
"Good, send in a repair and clean-up team to my office, and get me a new intercom.  Mine looks like it lost a tug-a-war."  Ms. Liberty ordered.
"Yes."  The longbow Warden said leaving Ms. Liberty's office.

Meanwhile

"This must be the place."  The Fattinator said.
"Ok, let's go in."  Marshal Darkness said.
"Wait a minute.  Let's go over our roles.  I'm the star of the mission, the willpower tank."  Super Fire Dragon said.
"And I'm the assassin who kills, I mean, arrests the bosses."  Vince dastardly added.
"I'm the controller who will lock everybody in-place."  Rare Earth said.
"I'm the blaster who will shoot arrows at our enemies."  Flower Night said.
"And I'm the blaster who will actually do damage to our enemies with ice."  Ice Mannix bragged.
"I'm a mastermind who will use my robot army to defeat any foe."  The Fattinator said.
"No, I'm the mastermind who will use dead things to frighten and defeat our foes."  Marshal Darkness said.
"I wish we had Kolissa's buffs and debuffs."  SFD said.
"Necrophillia and Marshal Darkness made an interesting double zombie masterminds.  Robots and zombies just don't go."  Ice Mannix said.
"Are you complaining about my robots, punk?"  The Fattinator threatened.
"Yeah The Fattinator.  Who ever heard of undead robots any how?"  Rare earth asked.
"Robots, zombies it's all the same, but arrows, now you're talking."  Flower Night said.
"Arrows, posh.  Ice is king."  Ice Mannix said.
"Ice schrice, for arresting power you need a katana and the know-how to use it."  Vince Dastardly said.
"And it don't hurt being invisible as you strike the first blow --- cheater!"  Rare Earth taunted.
"Look at you, without your pet baked potato, you're nothing."  Ice Mannix said.
"For the last time, it's not a baked potato.  It is a living rock creature."  Rare Earth defended.
"Well, it looks like a baked potato."  Ice Mannix said.
"Ice, you're one to talk.  Didn't they nerf Ice Blast to the point that you're more of a controller now."  SFD said.
"Hey, what's wrong with controllers?"  Rare Earth asked.
"There is nothing wrong with being a controller; some of my best friends are controllers."  Flower Night said.
"Me, how about you, Dragon?  Isn't willpower so nerfed now that you're only a paper dragon."  Ice Mannix insulted.
"Oh that is it!  Put them up.  Put them up."  SFD said mocking the Cowardly Lion from The Wizard of Oz.
"Stop it!  We have a job to do.  Let's be professional.  Stop bragging about who is more nerfed or whatever."  Rare Earth said.
"No, we weren't bragging about being nerfed."  Ice Mannix tried to explain.
"My robots are so weak."  The Fattinator said.
"How weak are they?"  Marshal Darkness asked.
"My robots are so weak that even your zombies could whip them."  The Fattinator said.

[Paragon Avenger]

After several minutes of putting each others' powers down and telling bad jokes, the team entered the warehouse.  This warehouse is believed to be an important base for the Freakshow.
"Anybody got a map of this dump?"  Super Fire Dragon asked.
"Just push the 'M' key, Dragon."  Ice Mannix replied.  Sometimes Ice wondered how that dragon could do anything.
"I left my keyboard in my other pants."  SFD said.
"You're not wearing pants."  Flower Night played along.
"That explains why it hurts when I put my hand in my pocket."  SFD said laughing.
"Dragon!  This is serious business.  We must defeat the Freakshow and find Giovanna."  The Fattinator reminded.
"Oh good luck trying to get that dragon to be serious."  Ice Mannix offered.
"Now guys, I can just as serious as the next dragon."  SFD defended.
"Hows about the next tank smasher?"  The Freakshow Tank Smasher said as he started to smash Super Fire Dragon, the tank.
Ice Mannix put an ice patch under the Tank Smasher.  Flower Night shot the Freak with several arrows.  The Fattinator summoned his robots. Rare Earth locked the tank smasher in place with stone cages and summoned her pet baked potato.  Vince turned invisible and went scouting the rest of the map.  Super Fire Dragon was knocked down and unconscious.  Ice Mannix then knocked the Freak out by giving him an ice covered right upper-cut to the chin.
"Dragon!"  Rare Earth exclaimed.
"Dragon, stop playing around."  Ice Mannix said.
"I think he's dead."  The Fattinator said.
Flower Night dropped to her knees and did the grief emote.
"Did he have his toggles on?  Does anybody know if he had his toggles on?"  Marshal Darkness asked.
"That Tank Smasher came out of no where.  He might not have been ready?"  Rare Earth thought out loud.
"Dragon, go to the hospital, we'll wait."  Ice Mannix insisted.
"Ice, I think he might be held."  Flower Night said.
"No, he's faking.  He is always faking."  Ice Mannix said.
Just then Vince became visible as he ran towards the group.
"Guys, guys.  There is a mobile group heading this way."  Vince Dastardly said.
"How long do we have?"  Flower Night asked.
"Thirty seconds, tops."  Vince dastardly said.
"Well, well.  Heroes.  Get them!"  The Freakshow boss said to his group.
"Maybe less."  Vince Dastardly said.
"Great, just great."  Flower Night said trying to sound like Super Fire Dragon.
"What are you doing?"  Vince Dastardly asked.
"That was my tank impersonation; what did you think?"  Flower Night asked.
"Needs work."  Ice Mannix said.
The heroes were victorious against the Freaks, but Flower Night and Marshal Darkness are smelling the carpet.
"Marshall!  Wake up, baby."  Rare Earth yelled.
"He seems to be like Super Fire Dragon.  Held or something.  They are unable to go to the hospital."  The Fattinator said.
"Yes, and we're down to only 4, and Vince is useless."  Ice Mannix said.
"Hey, just because I'm invisible doesn't mean that I can't hear."  Vince Dastardly said.
"Do you hear what I hear?"  Rare Earth asked.
"More on the way, yikes."  The Fattinator said.
"Brace yourselves, this is going to sting."  Ice Mannix said as he charged the incoming Freaks.

Meanwhile

"Ooo, this one looks a lot nicer than my old one."  Ms. Liberty cooed.
"Yes, it can patch into all the com channels and phone lines.  It can even read your email."  The technician bragged.
"Ms. Liberty!  Ms. Liberty!"  Kolissa said as she ran into Ms. Liberty's office.
"Kolissa, you're supposed to be resting."  Ms. Liberty said.
"Ms. Liberty,"  Kolissa said panting,  "It's a trap."
"What are you talking about."  Ms. Liberty asked.
"No time to explain, we must warn them."  Kolissa said.
"I'm not warning the Pope about the Swiss Guard until I get some answers."  Ms. Liberty insisted.
"Actually, they're on the same side."  The technician said.
"Look, I studied these photos.  They look like Giovanna is in Brickstown with the Freakshow, but when I looked closer."  Kolissa said.
"What?"  Ms. Liberty asked taking the photos that Kolissa handed her.
"Yes, when I looked closer, I could tell that these photos are faked."  Kolissa said.
"How?"  Ms. Liberty said in disbelief.
"You see this shadow.  It points to the Zig, but the location of that building is North of the Zig."  Kolissa explained.
"You're right.  Unless that is the parking garage photo-shopped to look like that other building."  Ms. Liberty said.
"Yes, the parking garage is East of the Zig.  That would make this photo make sense, but it can't be that warehouse."  Kolissa continued.
"That means that somebody wanted us to ...  I got to warn the team."  Ms. Liberty said.
"May I do it?"  Kolissa asked.
"Ok."  Ms. Liberty said.
"Kolissa to task force blue 35.  Come on please, this is Kolissa calling task force blue 35."  Kolissa said into Ms. Liberty's new intercom system.
"Kolissa, not a good time."  Ice Mannix answered.
"Ice, where's Super Fire Dragon?"  Kolissa asked.
"Oh, he's kissing the floor.  Can this wait?  We are in the middle of a fight."  Ice Mannix complained.
"I'm calling to tell you that you might be heading into a trap."  Kolissa said.
"Thanks loads.  Ice Mannix out."  Ice Mannix said.

[Paragon Avenger]

"How did we survive that last onslaught?"  Ice Mannix asked.
"We won't survive another, we lost The Fattinator."  Vince said.
"Without his robots to take the heat, we're toast."  Rare Earth.
"Cute, Melissa."  Ice Mannix said.
"I say we cut our loses and head for the exits."  Vince Dastardly said.
"No, Vince.  We are NOT leaving these brave heroes, and Super Fire Dragon, behind."  Ice Mannix.
"You must really hate that dragon."  Rare earth said.
"Yeah Ice, lighten up on Super Fire Dragon already."  Vince dastardly said.
"He started it."  Ice Mannix said.
"Trying to train you, as I recall."  Rare Earth said.
"Details, details.  Anyway, he got me killed so many times that I lost count."  Ice Mannix said.
"Six."  Rare Earth said.
"No it was at least 10 if not five thousand!"  Ice Mannix said.
"Yeah, it was six."  Vince Dastardly said.
"Ok, but being killed dead even once is a lot for most people."  Ice Mannix said.
"Dude, you went straight to the hospital after each time."  Vince dastardly said.
"And have you tried hospital food, lately?"  Ice Mannix said.


Meanwhile

"Ms. Liberty, is this new furniture?"  Kolissa asked as the two stood in Ms. Liberty's office.
"Yes, Ice Mannix and that Dragon had a dust-up."  Ms. Liberty said.
"Oh, really, what happened?"  Kolissa asked.
"I got all new furniture and I new improved intercom system and new drapes and fresh wall coverings."  Ms. Liberty answered smugly.
"No!  I meant with the fight?"  Kolissa insisted.
"Oh who knows, they both looked unharmed, but my office was totaled."  Ms. Liberty said.
"Those two have been at it this entire task force."  Kolissa said.
"Yup.  So what do you think, a sofa over there or a setee?"  Ms. Liberty asked.
"Oooo, a nice sectional, comfy, but professional.  Not too leather, steel and glass looking.  That post modern stuff is way over done."  Kolissa offered.
"A sectional, in corduroy and wooden end tables."  Ms. Liberty said.
"Yes.  And ceramic lamps, oriental, but not too ornate."  Kolissa said.
"Girlfriend, you're on fire."  Ms. Liberty said with a giggle.
"Thanks, deary, I do have a certain flair for this sort of thing."  Kolissa said.
"I was thinking an oversized painting, a landscape, for the far wall.  What do you think?"  Ms. Liberty asked.
"I always like those paintings that continue onto the next frame.  Sort of like the wall is a group of windows."  Kolissa said.
"Love it."  Ms. Liberty said.
"Hey, I feel like we're forgetting something."  Kolissa said
"Yes!  But what is it?"  Ms. Liberty said.
They both thought in silence for a few seconds.
"The carpet!"  They said unison.

[Paragon Avenger]

"Ms. Liberty, they told me that I was to report to your office."  Necrophillia asked.
"Necrophillia!"  Kolissa shouted.
"Hello, Kolissa, let me ... "  Necrophillia started.
"I am so sorry for upsetting you, deary."  Kolissa interrupted.
"No, I should apologize for losing my temper."  Necrophillia replied.
"Not at all, deary.  I realize that I provoked you."  Kolissa said.
"Well, I'm sorry that I lost control.  Ms. Liberty, I'm here to pick up my last pay-check.  It was fun being a superhero."  Necrophillia said keeping a brave face.
"Here you go.  What will you do now?"  Ms. Liberty asked handing Necrophillia her severance pay.
"I don't know, I was thinking of getting into modeling.  The Goth look is in."  Necrophillia said with a laugh.
"Wait a minute.  Ms. Liberty, you lied to me."  Kolissa said.
"I did not lie."  Ms. Liberty insisted.
"Here we are redecorating your office when Task Force Blue 35 walked into a trap."  Kolissa said angrily.
"You're not ready for field work."  Ms. Liberty stated.
"No, field work ain't ready for me."  Kolissa insisted.
"But you can't go in alone, and they already have 7 on the team."  Ms. Liberty said making excuses.
"Ms. Liberty, I need you to do two things so that I can rescue my team."  Kolissa said.
"What do you want me to do?"  Ms. Liberty played along.
"Reinstate Necrophillia and bump the team cap to 9.  We're going in."  Kolissa said.
"But you haven't asked Necrophillia."  Ms. Liberty said.
"She doesn't need to!"  Necrophillia asserted.
"What do you mean?"  Ms. Liberty asked.
"I mean, any hero worth her salt would gladly risk anything to save her friends."  Necrophillia shouted getting a bit angry at  Ms. Liberty for asking such a basis question.
"That's what I wanted to hear."  Ms. Liberty said.
"What do you mean?"  Necrophillia said.
"You had said that you were sorry for what you did to Kolissa, but you never said that you would give up anything to help her.  You are hereby reinstated.  Now go rescue your friends."  Ms. Liberty said.
"Ms. Liberty, you are crafty.  You planned this whole thing, didn't you?"  Kolissa asked.
"Well, most of it, now get going."  Ms. Liberty said.
Just then Necrophillia deployed her team transport.
"My powers work, again!"  Necrophillia exclaimed.
"Yes deary, just don't try 'Soul Drain' again."  Kolissa said.
They both laughed as they entered the team transport.

[Paragon Avenger]

"Necrophillia, wait.  Before we go in."  Kolissa said.
"Yes?"  Necrophillia asked.
"You're wearing black low heels, dark blue slacks and a powder blue sweater."  Kolissa noted.
"Yeah so?"  Necrophillia asked again.
"No superhero on my team with a name like Necrophillia is going on a mission dressed like that.  Put on your costume."  Kolissa insisted.
"Oh right.  It has been so long since they allowed me to wear it.  Hang on."  Necrophillia said.
And in a blinding flash of light and a clap of thunder, Necrophillia was again dressed in her trademark really-too-short pink dress with the demon head in the middle of the chest.  She had an evil smile on her Goth made-up face.  And from the top of her head to the bottoms of her spike high heels she had that "Come to your doom, boys" look about her that is so popular these days.
"Much better."  Kolissa admired.
Kolissa started for the door, but Necrophillia stopped her.
"Aren't you forgetting something?"  Necrophillia asked.
"Ummm, ladies of the night first?"  Kolissa puzzled.
"No, I can see your face."  Necrophillia said.
"Well, I'm not going to marry you, deary."  Kolissa answered.
"No, your costume."  Necrophillia insisted.
"Oh, of course.  I've been through a lot these last few days, thanks by the way, I nearly forgot."  Kolissa likewise changed into her Night Widow costume.
"You send one person's soul to hell, and they never let you forget it."  Necrophillia mused.
"It is funny that we can joke about it.  I nearly lost my mind ... " Kolissa said.
"And I nearly lost my freedom."  Necrophillia said.
"Let's promise each other, right here that we will never tease or prank each other again."  Kolissa said.
"Boy, this experience has changed you.  I will promise to go easy on you and try to be nicer."  Necrophillia said.
"The old Kolissa would not have said that?"  Kolissa asked.
"Well, no.  She probably would have said,"  Necrophillia continued imitating Kolissa, "Deary, if I ever catch you doing that 'Soul Drain' again, you'll lose more than your freedom.  Here, have some tea."
"That's pretty good.  I have missed you."  Kolissa said.
They hugged each other as they started to cry.


Meanwhile

"Yes, Giovanna.  I have sent Kolissa and Necrophillia to that same warehouse."  Ms. Liberty said over the telephone.
"Excellent.  I shall arrange a welcome party for them."  Giovanna said as she hung-up the phone.  "Ms. Liberty has lived up to her part of our deal.  Once we capture this Task Force Blue 35, nothing will stop us."
"Brilliant.  I can't believe that you managed to get the great Ms. Liberty to go along with our plans."  Kalinda said.
"It was easy; I told her that I have found a way to bring Statesman back to life."  Giovanna said and started to laugh.

Back at Ms. Liberty's office:

"Yes, I just got off the phone with her ..."  Ms. Liberty said into the phone.  " ... I don't care about that.  Send everything!"

[Paragon Avenger]

"But it isn't safe!"  Kalinda argued.
"Listen, I want to be there when the last hero is banished from my beloved city!"  Giovanna countered.
"But what if something goes wrong?"  Kalinda asked.
"What could happen?  We're super villains."  Giovanna said

Meanwhile

"Ice, this is a good plan.  We revive The Fattinator and Marshal Darkness."  Vince dastardly said.
"Yes, so we can use their pets to guard around the corner."  Ice Mannix said.
"We should be able to hold them off."  Vince Dastardly said as he went invisible and gave The Fattinator a wakie.
"Remind me to stop at 6 drinks next time."  The Fattinator said as he staggered across the room toward the group.
"Lol, that never gets old.  Every time you say it."  Ice Mannix said sarcastically.
The Fattinator knelt down and rested to regain strength and endurance.
"We also need Marshal Darkness, for this plan to work, but he is being guarded."  Vince Dastardly said.
"Did you give him a wakie, yet?"  Ice Mannix asked.
"Yup, and I whispered the plan to him."  Vince dastardly said.
"When you're ready, Vince, attack the Lieutenant."  Ice Mannix instructed.
"Hold it, let me recharge first."  The Fattinator said.
"Of course."  Ice Mannix said.
"Once we hold this room, we should be able to get to Super Fire Dragon."  Vince informed.
"Do we gotta?"  Ice Mannix asked.
"Let's not go through all that again."  Vince Dastardly laughed.

Meanwhile

"Best friends forever?"  Necrophillia asked Kolissa.
"Best friends forever, deary."  Kolissa responded.
"Oh, wait, the mission."  Necrophillia said in surprise.
"Oh, yeah, I almost forgot."  Kolissa replied.
"Call Ms. Liberty and tell her that we are in place."  Necrophillia suggested.
"Deary, we left, via teleport, an hour ago.  We are supposed to be inside already."  Kolissa reminded.
"It's been that long?  Maybe we should just go inside now?"  Necrophillia said.
"I don't know, I hate to arrive so late."  Kolissa said jokingly.
"I superhero is neither late nor early, but she arrives precisely when she means to."  Necrophillia said.
They both laughed and entered the warehouse.

Meanwhile

"I'm leaving to check on some field work.  You are in-charge until I return."  Ms. Liberty said.
"I understand."  The Longbow Warden said.
"And stay out of my liquor cabinet."  Ms. Liberty said.
"Yes, Ma'am."  The Longbow Warden said disappointedly.
Ms. Liberty pushed a button on her new intercom.
"Task Force Blue 36, are you ready for deployment?"  Ms. Liberty asked.
"It depends on your definition of 'ready'."  Developer 13 said over the intercom.
Ms. Liberty thought about how she had to scrap the bottom of the barrel to put this task force together.  There was Developer 13 a mind-control controller, and Some Nut With A Gun an assault rifle blaster, and Red Control an illusion controller and Not Another Hero a super strength tank and Richard Bourbon, XXIV a water blaster and Guns McCoy another assault rifle blaster.  They weren't bad heroes, they just weren't very good.  And to make matters worse, they didn't team well.
"Get going, and stop giving me double talk."  Ms. Liberty said into the intercom.
"This situation must be dire."  The Longbow Warden said.  "If you have to use heroes like Developer 13."
"Yes, until Iron Wolf can return the rest of the heroes, just is all there is, along with the Longbow and the Vanguard."  Ms. Liberty said.
"And the Vanguard is busy keeping the Rikti from taking advantage of the situation."  The Longbow Warden said.
"Right; and the rest of the Longbow are keeping Arachnos from taking advantage of the situation."  Ms. Liberty said.
"What about the Vindicators?"  The Longbow Warden asked.
"You're looking at her."  Ms. Liberty said.
"Really?  What happened."  The Longbow Warden asked.
"All the heroes were sent to another dimension."  Ms. Liberty said in that well duh voice that people use sometimes.
"Oh, yeah, I forgot."  The Longbow Warden said.

[Paragon Avenger]

"Ms. Liberty's office, please hold."  The Longbow Warden said into the intercom system as yet another incoming call buzzed.
"I can't take it anymore.  This stupid phone won't stop buzzing.  Everybody decided to call Ms. Liberty while I'm in-charge.  I hate this job."  The Longbow Warden said out loud to no one.
"Is this Ms. Liberty's office?"  Totally Awesome Dude asked as he walked into Ms. Liberty's office and past the sign on the door that read, "Ms. Liberty".  He was good looking and dressed in a sky blue suit.  His slicked back hair and aviator sunglasses made him look confident.  There was something about him though.  Maybe it was that he is a Kheldian.  Maybe it is his name.  He seemed out of place.
"Who are you?"  The Longbow Warden asked.
"I'm Totally Awesome Dude."  Totally Awesome Dude said.
"I am a Longbow Warden.  You will address as Sir or Warden."  The Longbow Warden insisted as he stood up from Ms. Liberty's desk and tried to look big, mean and aggressive.
"Ok, good to know, sir."  Totally Awesome Dude replied a bit confused.
"Now, what is your name, private?"  The Longbow Warden said snapping back to his military training days.
"Warden, no.  That is not my name."  Totally Awesome Dude responded.
"What?"  The Longbow Warden was totally confused.
"Warden, Sir, I'm Totally Awesome Dude."  Totally Awesome Dude said.
"Stop calling me 'dude'."  The Longbow Warden shouted.
"I'm not calling you, sir."  Totally Awesome Dude said.
"I know you are not calling me 'sir', you're calling me 'dude'."  The longbow Warden explained.
"What?"  Totally Awesome Dude was totally confused too.
"Are you drunk?  Spell your name."  The Longbow Warden requested.
"Y-O-U-R N-A-M-E, see, I'm not drunk, sir."  Totally Awesome Dude replied.
"WHO ARE YOU?"  The Longbow Warden demanded.
"I am a peacebringer superhero looking for Ms. Liberty, sir."  Totally Awesome Dude said.
"Now, we're getting some where.  What is your name?"  The Longbow Warden asked.
"Oh brother."  Totally Awesome Dude said under his breath.
Just then Developer 13 walked into Ms. Liberty's office.  Developer 13 wears a clown costume.  His principle powers put people to sleep as he drones on-and-on about computer program design patterns and the merits of functional versus declarative programming paradigms.
"Totally Awesome Dude, here you are.  I've been looking all over for you."  Developer 13 said cheerfully.
"Oh hi Dev.  Long time.  How's it going?"  Totally Awesome Dude asked.
"Oh same old, same old.  I've been looking into the R language; they recently added Big Data capabilities to it.  It should make it interesting."  Developer 13 said.
"Big data?  What's that?"  The Longbow Warden asked.
"NO!"  Totally Awesome Dude tried to stop what was to come next.
" ... and so you can have multiple federated searches inside portal mash-ups running independently."  Developer 13 paused long enough to take a breath after his 20 minute explanation of the R language, Big Data and the internet of things.
"That is fascinating, too bad we can't hear more --- ever."  Totally Awesome Dude took the opportunity to reply.
"Oh."  Developer 13 said.

Meanwhile

"Ice Mannix, my good friend.  How have you been?"  Kolissa asked as she and Necrophillia approached Task Force Blue 35 inside the warehouse.
"Stay back!"  Ice Mannix said aiming his ice flinging fist at Kolissa.
"Ice, it's ok.  Meet the new Kolissa."  Necrophillia said pointing to Kolissa.
"What happened to her?"  Ice Mannix asked in shock.
"I sent her soul to hell, remember."  Necrophillia said almost saying 'well duh'.
"I know that, but why is she so, so, nice."  Ice Mannix wondered.
"She might not be ready for field work yet, but we got no choice."  Necrophillia explained.
"Kolissa!"  Vince shouted as he became visible running toward her.
"Vincent.  You are looking well.  Well, now that I can see you."  Kolissa said.
"Kolissa, I'm glad you're on our team, but how is that possible.  That makes 9."  The Fattinator puzzled.
"I told Ms. Liberty to bump the team cap.  This is a nice looking warehouse, for a warehouse."  Kolissa said.
"Wow, Ms. Liberty can reprogram the game like that without kicking us out."  Ice Mannix said.
"Yes, and as it turns out, Ms. Liberty has been pulling the strings behind the scenes.  She planned most of this."  Necrophillia chimed-in.
"Do we know what she is up to?"  Vince Dastardly asked.
"Not really, she is a crafty old gal."  Kolissa stated.
"So what's the 211?"  Necrophillia asked.
"211?"  Ice Mannix asked.
"It's a variant on the 411.  In most cities 211 gets you information about social services which I nearly needed."  Necrophillia explained.
"It's just as you see; Vince, The Fattinator, Marshal Darkness over there and myself trying to get to Super Fire Dragon, Rare Earth and Flower Night."  Ice Mannix detailed.
"The map doesn't allow you to go to the hospital."  Vince Dastardly spoke up.
"I always hated those."  Kolissa said.
"Necrophillia, can you put your zombies on guard with the others.  Kolissa, we need your buffs."  Ice Mannix said.
Necrophillia summoned her zombies and placed them as asked.
"Super Fire Dragon trained you well."  Kolissa said firing off mind-link and other buffs.
"Yes.  Yes, he did."  Ice Mannix said suddenly realizing how far he had come since that day he met SFD in the library.

[Paragon Avenger]

"Ok, I'm the team leader, because after all I am a developer."  Developer 13 said.
"Yes, but you're not a City of Heroes developer.  You have no power over us."  Guns McCoy said.
"He controller, he control freak."  Not Another Hero said.
"Why don't you use verbs?  Verbs are our friends."  Some Nut with a Gun said.
"You funny.  I break you.  There are you happy now, I used a verb?"  Not Another Hero said.
"N-A-H, I thought you spoke like that because you were all brawn."  Totally Awesome Dude said.
"What?  You never hear role playing?"  Not Another Hero replied.
"And he's back."  Some Nut with a Gun said.
"Wait a minute, not all controllers are control freaks."  Red Control said.
"I think that he might have been only referring to the dev."  Richard Bourbon, XXIV said.
"Yes, Developer 13 is a control freak."  Some Nut with a Gun said.
"Pipe down all of you.  Like I said, I'm the team leader."  Developer 13 insisted.
"I think that maybe we should elect the team leader."  Totally Awesome Dude said.
"Be democratic.  One man, one vote."  Not Another Hero said.
"I nominate Richard Bourbon, the 24th, as our team leader."  Some Nut with a Gun said.
"I nominate Totally Awesome Dude, as our team leader."  Red Control said.
"Somebody nominate me or I'll explain the difference between 'And' and 'AndAlso' in VB.NET, at length."  Developer 13 threatened.
"Ok, ok, me nominate Developer 13, as team lead, as long as he no talk about programming truth tables."  Not Another Hero said.
"Do we got to second each nomination?"  Guns McCoy asked.
"I say we dispense with the seconds and get on with the voting.  Who all wants me as your team leader?"  Developer 13 asked.
Totally Awesome Dude raised his hand.
"Well, tough.  As team leader I declare that I won the election."  Developer 13 said.
"What?"  Red Control said.
"Can he do that?"  Richard Bourbon, XXIV asked.
"I got the most votes.  I won. End of file---I mean story."  Developer 13 said.
"Well, nobody else received any votes."  Totally Awesome Dude said.
"It unanimous."  Not Another Hero said.
"As I was saying, as team leader what I say goes."  Developer 13 ordered.
"Yes, great leader."  Guns McCoy said.
"The rest of you, what did you say?"  Developer 13 asked.
"Yes, Great Leader!"  The team shouted.
"Ok, Ms. Liberty instructed me to take you guys to some warehouse or something."  Developer 13 said.
"Me like warehouse, taste good."  Not Another Hero said.
"You know, that really is starting to get old."  Richard Bourbon, XXIV said.
"If you bothered with me talk, we step outside."  Not Another Hero said.
"Me like you talk."  Richard Bourbon, XXIV caved.
"Not Another Hero, please do not eat the warehouse.  The rest of you, form up on me as I fire up the old team teleport."  Developer 13 said.
And with that, they vanished with a flash of light.

Meanwhile

"Thanks for rescuing me, that floor smelt funny."  Super Fire Dragon informed.
"Oh Dragon, we couldn't leave a hero such as yourself lying around.  We need your wisdom and guidance."  Kolissa said.
"Who is THAT?"  SFD asked.
"That's the new Kolissa."  Ice Mannix said.
"You will get used to her, eventually."  The Fattinator said.
"That's Kolissa?  When was her last dose of medicine?"  SFD asked.
"I don't know, Kolissa, when was your last shot."  Necrophillia asked.
"Oh, I don't remember.  Was it 4, no brown.  Yes tuba o'clock in the foyer."  Kolissa said.
"Great, just great."  SFD said.
"Sorry, Dragon, she seemed so normal a little while ago."  Necrophillia explained.
"Flower Night, please take Kolissa back to headquarters for her shot."  SFD said.
"Look at all the pretty colors."  Kolissa said pointing to the approaching group of Freakshow.
"Great, just great."  SFD said.
"You already said that."  Marshal Darkness said.
"We have no choice, she has to stay and fight."  Ice Mannix said.
"Kolissa!  Listen to me."  SFD said.
"Are you real?"  Kolissa asked.
"Ice, see if you can get through to her, I'll go tank the freaks."  SFD said.
"Kolissa, this is your old buddy, Ice."  Ice Mannix said.
"Ice, I never lampshade your sense of humor."  Kolissa said and then she fell to the floor.
"She passed-out."  Ice Mannix said.
"Great, just great."  SFD said, again.
"Necrophillia, you better hope she recovers, because after this fight, if she doesn't, we are going to stomp you."  Marshal darkness said.
"Me, what did I do?"  Necrophillia pleaded.
"You sent her soul to hell and then you brought her to a mission when she wasn't ready for field work."  Flower Night recapped.
"Oh yeah."  Necrophillia said as if she just suddenly remembered.

[Paragon Avenger]

"Who are you people, and what are you doing in my bedroom?"  Kolissa asked regaining conscientious.
"Wow, she slept through that entire battle?"  Vince Dastardly said.
"Kolissa, are you alright?"  Super Fire Dragon asked with concern.
"Super Fire Dragon, deary, nice to see you."  Kolissa answered.
"Kolissa, we need to get you back to headquarters for your shot."  Flower Night said.
"I don't need a shot, well, not that kind anyway.  I need to give Necrophillia a piece of advice."  Kolissa said.
"Necrophillia, Kolissa wants you."  Ice Mannix called over to Necrophillia.
Necrophillia left her zombies guarding the hallway and walked over to where they were helping Kolissa up into a chair.
"What is it?"  Necrophillia asked sheepishly.
"Necrophillia, deary, sleep with one eye open."  Kolissa threatened.
"She's back."  SFD said.
"Yes, I'm back you talking lizard.  Now let's find Giovanna."  Kolissa stormed.
"Not so fast."  Developer 13 said as he walked into the room with the rest of Task Force Blue 36.
"Who is this clown?"  Kolissa asked.
"We are about to find out."  Ice Mannix said.
"I am Developer 13 and this is Totally Awesome Dude."  Developer 13 said pointing to his right where Totally Awesome Dude was standing.
"Do I look like a dude?"  Kolissa shouted.
"Well, no.  Why do you ask?"  Developer 13 answered.
"You called me 'dude'; don't do it again."  Kolissa said aiming her wrist dart gun at Developer 13.
"Let me explain."  Totally Awesome Dude said.
"Ok, start talking."  Kolissa said aiming her wrist dart gun at Totally awesome Dude.
"Maybe I should explain, you could get us all killed."  Guns McCoy said.
"Me 'splane."  Not Another Hero said.
"No, you're doing wrong.  I'll do it."  Some Nut with a Gun said.
"He Totally Awesome Dude.  Me Not Another Hero.  That guy Guns McCoy."  Not Another Hero said.
"Oh, 'Totally Awesome Dude' is his name."  Kolissa said lowering her wrist dart gun.
"She followed THAT?  She's either crazy or completely cured."  Marshal Darkness said.
"And I'm Some Nut with a Gun."  Some Nut with a Gun said.
"You certainly are."  Necrophillia said.
"Yes, he certainly is."  Red Control said.
"So why are you guys here?"  SFD asked.
"We rescue pansy team Task Force Blue 35."  Not Another Hero said.
"We're Task Force Blue 35!"  Ice Mannix shouted.
"No offense."  Not Another Hero said.
"Look, Some Hero with a Developer or whatever your name is, we don't need rescuing."  The Fattinator said.
"Yeah, we got back on our feet and we have 9 members, so go away."  Rare Earth said.
"We can't do that, you see the game has an automatic force multipler directly related to the inverse of the number of vacant teammember slots needed filled at the cycle start using the Cummings-Rosenblatph theory of paradigmn shift."  Developer 13 said as Necrophillia and Flower Night fell asleep.
"Great, just great."  SFD said.
"He has that effect on people."  Guns McCoy said.
"If you promised that not explain anything ever again, you can stay and help out."  Vince Dastardly said.
"Ok, what's the plan?"  Some Nut with a Gun asked.
"Me smash."  Not Another Hero said.
"You can't say that, it's copyrighted."  SFD said.
"Oh right, Me Clobber."  Not Another Hero said.
"Nope, you can't say that either."  Kolissa said.
"Oh crap."  Not Another Hero said.
"Not that either."  Vince Dastardly said.
"What, I didn't say bad word."  Not Another Hero said.
"Hell Boy says, 'Oh Crap', so you can't use it."  Red Control said.
"I better call my Bat-Writer and get a Bat-Battlecry."  Not Another Hero said.
"Oh, he's doing it on purpose."  Flower Night said.

[Paragon Avenger]

"Ok, if this is going to work, we all need to know our parts."  Ice Mannix said.
"That's right.  I'm the team leader."  Developer 13 said.
"What, you?"  Necrophillia asked.
"Yeah, we voted, he won."  Guns McCoy offered.
"Well maybe you voted, deary, but that mean anything here."  Kolissa said.
"Look, I'm in charge, you understand."  Developer 13 insisted.
"He is a developer after all."  Red Control said.
"So!"  Super Fire Dragon asked.
"So, he can erase you from the hard-drive."  Red Control explained.
"No he can't.  They use RAID-5.  He would have to erase all the hard-drives at the same time."  Vince dastardly said.
"Actually, that's not how RAID-5 works.  Firstly ... " Developer 13 started.
"I don't care how RAID-5 works!"  Ice Mannix interrupted.
"But, but, but ..."  Developer 13 stammered.
"This is how it goes, I'm in-charge, because I'm the senior tank.  Kolissa is in-charge of communication and organization."  SFD said.
"Now, hold on."  Ice Mannix said.
"What?"  SFD asked.
"First, I'm not 100% sure of Kolissa.  And who do you think brought this team back from disaster.  It was me."  Ice Mannix said.
Kolissa shot Ice with her wrist dart gun.
"The dragon is in charge, and I'm in-charge of communication and organization.  Any questions?"  Kolissa asked.
"No, questions.  We're good.  Put the dart gun away, nice lady."  Developer 13 caved.
Ice Mannix fell to the floor.
"Ice, hit the hospital."  SFD said.
"Kolissa, you have got to control your temper, girlfriend."  Rare Earth said.
"I'm not mad, or upset.  I just have a point to make.  I think Ice got the point."  Kolissa said.
"Ok, nobody cross Kolissa.  She has a dart gun and is not afraid to use it.  And those darts sting."  Necrophillia said.
"Thanks, deary.  Now, everybody say what your powers are so we can keep track.  I'm an Arachnos Night Widow with dart gun and psychic powers like confusion."  Kolissa said
"I'm a willpower fire tank."  SFD said.
"Me tank too."  Not Another Hero said.
"I am a tri-form peacebringer."  Totally Awesome Dude said.
"I am an assault rifle blaster."  Guns McCoy said.
"Guess what power I got."  Some Nut with a Gun said as he shot the ceiling.
"Hey, knock it off."  Kolissa demanded.
"Make me."  Some Nut with a Gun said.
Kolissa raised her arm to aim her wrist dart gun, but Super Fire Dragon stopped her.
"Don't you ever touch me again, you over grown lizard."  Kolissa said.
"Look, you can't shoot all our teammates full of poison darts, no matter how much you want to."  SFD warned.
Kolissa shot SFD with her dart gun.
"Very funny.  I have my toggles on.  If you can't control yourself, I'll make you door-sit."  SFD threatened.
"Alright, I'm sorry I shot you with lethal poison darts."  Kolissa said.
"Anyway, Hi everyone, my name is Flower Night, no 'K', and I am an archery blaster."  Flower Night said without a 'K'.
"I'm Red Control.  I'm an Illusion Controller."  Red Control said.
"I'm a katana stalker."  Vince Dastardly said.
"I am Marshal Darkness.  I have pet zombies that do as I say."  Marshal Darkness said.
"I too have pet zombies that follow my commands."  Necrophillia said.  "Oh, by the way, I get the dead bodies."
"Zombies, schrombies.  I have deadly robots with deadly lasers.  They are deadly."  The Fattinator said.
"Three masterminds, that's cool."  Totally Awesome Dude said.
"Listen sucker, I got a pet too.  It's a ... "  Raer Earth started.
"Baked potato."  Ice Mannix said as he returned from the hospital.
Everybody laughed.
"No, it's a living rock creature."  Rare Earth finished.
"I'm an Ice Blaster with Ice Melee powers."  Ice Mannix said.
"I'm a mind controller."  Developer 13 said.
"Melissa, state your power."  Kolissa said.
"Oh right, I'm an earth controller."  Rare Earth (Melissa) said.
"By the way, Kolissa, that's one.  Two more strikes and look out."  Ice Mannix said.
"Can I shoot him?  Please."  Kolissa asked.
"No, you over there, what's your name."  SFD asked.
"Hi, I'm Richard Bourbon, XXIV.  And I'm a water blaster."  Richard Bourbon, XXIV said.
"Hello Richard."  Everybody said.
"This isn't an AA meeting."  Developer 13 said.
"Whatever, dude."  SFD said.
"What?"  Totally Awesome Dude asked.
"No not you."  SFD said.
"Kolissa, maybe you should report in to Ms. Liberty."  Necrophillia suggested.
"Don't bother, she isn't in her office.  We just came from there."  Developer 13 said.
"Where could she be?"  Vince Dastardly wondered out loud.
"She's right here."  Giovanna said walking into the room.
"Ms. Liberty, how could you?"  Necrophillia asked.
"It was simple; she offered me the square root of smoke dollars."  Ms. Liberty said.

[Paragon Avenger]

.

[Paragon Avenger]

"So we're fighting these guys, now?"  Some Nut with a Gun asked.
"Yes, you nut.  Get in there and fight."  Guns McCoy answered.
"Come on everybody, let's show them who's the boss."  Totally Awesome Dude said.
"But I never liked Tony Danza."  Red Control.
"What?"  Totally Awesome Dude asked in exasperation.
"I don't know, it was a cute show, Full House was better, but what does that have to do with anything?"  Developer 13 said.
"Lesser heroes, what are you talking about?"  Kolissa demanded.
"Hey, just because we were deleted before hitting that precious level 50, doesn't make us lesser heroes."  Developer 13 shouted.
"Well, it kind of does."  Not Another Hero said.  "Although, technically, I wasn't deleted, the game was shut-down."
"Snooty-pants."  Some Nut with a Gun countered.
"Look, I was deleted fair and square.  I can live with that.  I didn't measure up or perhaps the slot was needed for a different character.  Like maybe an Arachnos Widow."  Developer 13 said.
"You were deleted to make more for Kolissa?"  Red Control asked.
"Well no, not exactly, but I could have been."  Developer 13 said.

[Author's note, ok this is getting surreal.  Yes, the second team is made up of characters of mine that I deleted, but ...]

Guns McCoy fired his assault rifle at the group of bad guys.
"Great, just great."  Super Fire Dragon said.  "Somebody just shot me."
"Oopsy."  Guns McCoy said with a giggle in his voice.
"Dude, like you just shot the great Super Fire Dragon, who by the way, was never deleted."  Developer 13 said.
"I'll fix it."  Some Nut with a Gun said as he opened fire on SFD.
"Ouch!  Hey!  Cut it out!  That stings."  SFD said.
"See, it's all better now."  Some Nut with a Gun said.
"You ARE Some Nut!"  Guns McCoy shouted.
"Me fix this.  Me kill Freaks."  Not Another Hero said as he waded into the group of bad guys.
"Hey, you talk funny."  SFD said.
"Me talk funny when me remember that me big dumb hulk, sometimes I forget."  Not Another Hero said.
"I can see why you were deleted."  SFD said.
"Me never get deleted!"  Not Another Hero said.
"I thought that all you guys on the second team had been deleted."  SFD said.
"Not me.  Game got shut down."  Not Another Hero said.
"Wait a minute, I know you.  You are the Increbidle Hulk."  Necrophillia said to Not Another Hero.
"No me was Increbidle Hulk then me was Generic 01625 then me Not Another Hero."  Not Another Hero said.  "Try to keep up."
"Oh, sorry, of course."  Necrophillia said.
"Enough of this chit-chat, attack!"  Ice Mannix demanded.
"Mr. Ice, sir, with all due respect, you were never even a character."  Red Control said.
"Yeah, Red Control was the first character."  Developer 13 said.
"Yeah, the first to get deleted."  SFD said said.
They all laughed.
"I too was not deleted.  The game shut down before I could obtain high level."  Richard Bourbon, XXIV said.
"You throw bourbon at bad guys.  That would have gotten old eventually."  Developer 13 said.
"Yes, but I could truly say 'Bottoms Up!'."  Richard Bourbon, XXIV said.

[Paragon Avenger]

"But that's impossible."  Jenny Hall said to her doctor.
"I have examined you, and my findings are sound, but if you want a second opinnion ... "  Her doctor said.
"No.  It isn't that.  I mean I believe you, but we haven't planned this."  Jenny said.
"I suggest that you have a long and serious talk with him regarding your responsibilities."  Her doctor replied.
"You don't understand.  The father of my baby is a superhero."  Jenny Hall said and broke into tears.
"Now, there, there."  Her doctor said while patting her on the back trying to console her.
"A superhero!  Why?  Oh, why?"  Jenny cried.

Meanwhile

"What is that annoying sound."  Super Fire Dragon asked.
"Me no hear nothing."  Not Another Hero said.
"Yes Dragon, deary, what is this sound you think you hear?"  Kolissa asked mockingly.
"Oh, sorry, it's my cell phone."  Ice Mannix said as he pulled out his cell phone.  It was playing the song "My Girl".
"Who could be calling you at this hour?"  Necrophillia asked.
"Girlfriend, it's probably his girlfriend; I'll bet."  Rare Earth said.
"Is there anyway to stop that noise?"  SFD asked.
"Yeah, hang-on."  Ice Mannix said as we answered the phone and walked away.
"How rude?"  Flower Night said.
"What do you mean?"  Developer 13 asked.
"Calling in the middle of a fight, like that, the nerve of some people."  Flower Night answered and shot a fist full of arrows into the approaching Freakshow.
"Well, maybe the other party doesn't realize what is happening right now."  Developer 13 reasoned as he cast an wide area effect sleep hold, or did he explain the difference between a string and a string pointer to the Freakshow.
"Flower Night, not everybody understands what it is like to be a superhero."  Richard Bourbon XXIV offered as he woke the Freaks up by spraying them with 3 year old bourbon.
"Is that the 8 year old whiskey?"  Guns McCoy asked.
"Nope, I use the young naughty whiskey on bad guys."  Richard Bourbon XXIV replied.
"What you have in reserve?"  Not Another Hero asked.
"I have some fine barrel strength 7 year old that I'm saving for a special occasion."  Richard Bourbon XXIV said.
"Sounds great."  Red Control said.  "Hey, Dragon, hurry up and win this fight,  Richard has some hooch that he wants us to try."
"This would go faster if you guys would help."  SFD complained.
"We have better things to do than fight bad guys."  Developer 13 said.
"No womder you got deleted."  SFD replied.
"Hey, fighting isn't everything."  Some Nut with a Gun said as he emptied yet another clip into the approaching Freakshow.
"Who are you and what have you done with Some Nut with a Gun?"  Red Control asked.
"Yeah, without fighting, my zombies are pretty much useless."  Marshal Darkness added.
"All I'm saying is that I don't want to fight ALL the time.  I like to relax and have fun."  Some Nut with a Gun said.
"Yeah, relaxing by using signs, street lights, windows and whatever else as target practice."  Red Control said.
"Hey, you relax your way, I relax my way."  Some Nut with a Gun said.
"So you're the nut who shot-up my car last week?"  The Fattinator shouted as he sent his robot army into the path of the approaching Freakshow.
"Who me?  No, I was out-of-town that week.  Heh."  Some Nut with a Gun said.
"Look, Mr. The Fattinator, Sir.  I'm sure that if and I say if Some Nut with a Gun shot up your car, we have no way of knowing that Some Nut with a Gun was the Nut with some gun that actually did do the shooting up."  Totally Awesome Dude said.
"That was awesome!"  Some Nut with a Gun said.
"Ok, but when I figure out what the initials SNWAG means, I'm going to send a robot to the gunman's house."  The Fattinator said.
"SNWAG?  What's that?"  Red Control asked over-hearing The Fattinator.
"That was the pattern left by the bullet holes on the side of my car."  The Fattinator said.
"SNWAG?  That's weird, we may never know what that means."  Some Nut with a Gun said.
"Yeah, we will never know."  Totally Awesome Dude said knowingly.
"Me know what it means."  Not Another Hero said.
Some Nut with a Gun's face went white.
"What does it mean?"  Red Control asked.
"You need new car.  Ha!  Ha!  Ha!"  Not Another Hero said.
"SNWAG, let's see Some Nut with ... " Vince Dastardly said.
"We may NEVER know."  Totally Awesome Dude interrupted.
"No I almost have it, Some Nut ... "  Vince Dastardly started.
"We may NEVER know; you understand?"  Totally Awesome Dude interrupted.
"Wait, SNWAG, could that mean Guns McCoy?"  The Fattinator asked.
"No!  No, there is no way on earth that SNWAG could possible mean Guns McCoy."  Guns McCoy said nervously.
"Guns is right, SNWAG means Some Nut with a Gun and that could be anybody."  Red Control said.
"Right.  Paragon City is full of weirdos."  The Fattinator said.
"Yeah, weirdos everywhere."  Some Nut with a Gun said after he started breathing again.
"Next time, make sure it isn't an over-sized superhero with lethal robots whose car you're shooting up, ok?"  Totally Awesome Dude whispered to Some Nut with a Gun.
"Gulp!"  Some Nut with a Gun replied.
"Guys!  Guys!  Guess what?"  Ice Mannix shouted as he ran back into the room.
"The doctor found your spleen and can reattach it next week."  SFD said while waiting for breath of fire to recharge.
"Dragon, stop reading my email."  Ice Mannix said sternly.
"Ok, ok, what's the big news?  You finally made it to level 50 or something?"  Necrophillia asked.
"I'm going to have a baby."  Ice Mannix said.
"What?"  SFD said.  "I thought you were male."
"Congratulations, Ice."  Rare Earth said.
"When is Jenny due?"  Kolissa asked.
"We have to throw a shower."  Necrophillia said.
"Let's go baby clothes shopping.  Is it going to be a boy or a girl?"  Flower Night asked.
"Too early to tell that.  I'm just so happy, I can't think straight."  Ice Mannix said.
"Dude, 2 am feeding.  Poopy diapers.  Babies cry when they poop and poop when they cry."  Guns McCoy said.
"Oh, come on, it's not that bad."  Marshal Darkness said.
"Oh, man, it just hit me.  I'm going to be a father.  Some kid's dad.  I can't be a dad."  Ice Mannix said.
"You'll make a great dad.  Now, does Jenny like ducks or cartoon characters better?"  Flower Night asked.
"Maybe we should get yellow stuff until we know if it's a boy or a girl."  Necrophillia said.
"Well, she'll need receiving blankets, bottles, diapers, a bassinette, a crib, a playpen, a changing table, one of those wind-up mobiles and baby toys like teething rings and rattles."  Kolissa said.
"And bibs, bonnets, booties, and pacifiers."  Necrophillia added.
"Great, just great.  We lost the females."  SFD said.
""Ice, is Jenny going to breast feed or formula feed?"  Rare Earth asked.
"What, I don't know.  What's the difference?"  Ice Mannix said confused.
"What's the difference??  Men!"  Flower Night, Kolissa, Necrophillia, Rare Earth and Ms. Liberty said.
"What did I say?"  Ice Mannix said.
"Ice, welcome to fatherhood.  Your girlfriend and all the women you know are having the baby.  You are just along to pay the bills."  Marshal Darkness said.
"Where I come from, we fathers get to eat about half the newly hatched eggs, before their mother chases us off."  SFD said.
"Eeeeeewwwww!"  Vince Dastardly said.
"Still, it has some merits."  Guns McCoy said.

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