Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)

[Paragon Avenger]

Further details have been learned about the recent hack of City of Heroes.

It all started when one of the hackers AE arc got nerfed.

[Paragon Avenger]

More details about the City of Heroes hack ...

They have posted on-line the password to the midnighters' club, and are threatening to post other sensitive information unless they demands are met.

[Paragon Avenger]

As it turns out, the hackers have stolen a backup copy of i21.
So there is no danger to the game in that THeM is trying to pyrchase from our friends at NCSoft.

[Floride]

This just in... DC has announced the purchase of the City of Heroes comic book franchise and plans to relaunch the defunct MMO based on the comic. DC plans to retire many of the CoH heroes in favor of DC staples, such as replacing Statesman with Superman, Manticore with Batman, and Swan for Wonderwoman. DC expects the old CoH fans to embrace these changes based on the naive opinions of it's marketing department. More as the story unfolds...

[Paragon Avenger]

This just in ...
During a recent meeting with NCSoft, one of the THeM belched the Star Spangled Banner.  This impressed the South Korean executives that they tried belching their county's national anthem.  They ended up in the hospital with multiple fractures and contusions.  This might set the pace of the negotiations to the slowest it has every been.

[Eoraptor]

While searching the southern indian ocean for remains of  malaysian air airliner, investigators discovered several large rectangular objects. they were later determine to be the dumped game servers and account information for NCSoft customer's City of Heroes accounts. more nws on this discovery after the sharks stop circling the boxes.

[Paragon Avenger]

While searching the southern indian ocean for remains of  malaysian air airliner, investigators discovered several large rectangular objects. they were later determine to be the dumped game servers and account information for NCSoft customer's City of Heroes accounts. more nws on this discovery after the sharks stop circling the boxes.

City of Heroes:  Atlantis.

[Paragon Avenger]

This just in,

In an effort to show respect to the NCSoft executives hosting the negotiations, THeM staged a 21 fart gun salute.

It lost something in the translation.

[Blackgrue]

This just in,

NCSoft's new Trademark filing "Heart of Thorns" thought to be a Guild Wars 2 Expansion turns out to be a City of Heroes Expansion dealing with the Circle of Thorns.

[Paragon Avenger]

This just in,

In an effort to show respect to the NCSoft executives hosting the negotiations, THeM staged a 21 fart gun salute.

It lost something in the translation.

I guess I stole GrueGirl's post, well she is a minion.

[Paragon Avenger]

This just in,

NCSoft has turned down the offer that the THeM made citing irreconcilable differences.

As it turns out, you can not show up to corporate headquarters and expect to get anyway while dressed up like circus clowns.

Members of the THeM could not be reached for comment, but did release the following statement:
"Smell my flower"

[Ankhammon]

While searching the southern indian ocean for remains of  malaysian air airliner, investigators discovered several large rectangular objects. they were later determine to be the dumped game servers and account information for NCSoft customer's City of Heroes accounts. more nws on this discovery after the sharks stop circling the boxes.

So Captain Mako won?

[Pengy]

Aw, look at the cute shark playing City of Villains!

[Paragon Avenger]

This just in ...

It turns out the reason talks seem to us to be taking forever is that no source or binary code exists for the game City of Heroes.  So, NCSoft is feverishly trying to re-code the game from scratch while leading the THeM on.

[Paragon Avenger]

This just in,

The talks with NCSoft have stalled over the placement of the Icons on the opening screen.
NCSoft wants their Icon to the far left and Paragon Studios Icon to the right of Cryptic.
MWM wants their icon in the middle with Cryptic on the right and Paragon Studios on the left with NCSoft's icon on the other side of the opening screen.
Disney wants their icon in the upper left corner, but nobody knows why.

[Blackgrue]

This just in,

The talks with NCSoft have stalled over the placement of the Icons on the opening screen.
NCSoft wants their Icon to the far left and Paragon Studios Icon to the right of Cryptic.
MWM wants their icon in the middle with Cryptic on the right and Paragon Studios on the left with NCSoft's icon on the other side of the opening screen.
Disney wants their icon in the upper left corner, but nobody knows why.

A Cryptic spokesperson has been quoted as saying "Why the hell do we care?" and promptly vanished in a puff of logic.

[Paragon Avenger]

This just in,

The new City of Heroes will allow open game play for leagues.
That's right, contacts missions, radio missions, bank missions, paper missions, task forces, trials, AE missions even signature story arcs can be played with a league of up to 6 teams of 8 players.

Some of the maps might get a bit crowded.

[Sugoi]

Ah, just imagining running the 'Wedding Cake' Cave run with 48 Masterminds on the team.  And in reality, it'd probably be worse than I can imagine. ;D

[Paragon Avenger]

48 robotic MasterMinds.
The noise would be horrific.

Demon Summoning as well.

[Eoraptor]

screen rendering tasks strong enough to turn your vid card into a jet engine/space heater ;P