And then this guy... Mc Archvillain- the first crazy costume I encountered as a baby ninja back when I was on Guardian (no bio but still wacky)
(https://i191.photobucket.com/albums/z312/xieveral/McArchvillain-1.jpg)
We must never forget SingSangSong, but I don't see how to embed the image here.
http://brbbio.blogspot.com/2009/01/sing-sang-song.html
(https://img.photobucket.com/albums/v28/Logan_Darklighter/City%20of%20Heroes/Bios/Hami_Tan.jpg)
They told us we shouldn't fire any weapons near the tachyon field generators. Pity the Drahn didn't get the same memo. Last thing my suit recorded was a surge of energy coming from the central lab.(https://i.imgur.com/17WV0.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/ny8BA.jpg)(https://i.imgur.com/bI9oj.jpg)
Next thing I know, I'm stuck here. It's Earth, all right - just not my Earth. The pivotal difference is when we won at Thermopylae - here, the 300 died trying and nothing is the same after that point. Instead of New Sparta there's a barely sigificant country called Greece.
Frank Miller wrote "300" instead of "10 000". They made a movie too. And after it, nobody holds much respect for Sparta any more. For them, "Sparta" equals "beyond madness".
Time someone changed this, damn it! I'll teach this world... I'll teach them all... how real Spartans do battle!
-- Jason-117
(https://images.weserv.nl/?url=img96.imageshack.us%2Fimg96%2F4515%2Floungewizard.jpg)
Waitron9000 was created by Rossum's Universal Robots as an experimental Food Service bot. She has a unique positronic brain with real AI, wireless down/uplink to the Freedom Corps library computers and the Paragon City Library system and a unique chipset designed to make her respond to "customer unhappiness" by moving to correct the source of the unhappiness. In beta-test with Paragon Pizza, she was serving tables when a gang of Hellions invaded and began beating up and robbing the customers. Responding to customer unhappiness, Waitron9000 downloaded the entire Jet Li archive and proceeded to mop the floor with Hellion faces.
The management of Paragon Pizza and the devs at RUR were both grateful, and understandably concerned. The implications for what might occur if the customers were unhappy with restaurant management were not something they cared to contemplate.
The program was discontinued and Waitron was scheduled to be scrapped when Freedom Corps got wind of this, bought her and her contract, emancipated her, trained her, made a slight alteration to the definition of "customer" in her database and put her on the streets.
VV, I was a customer of NCSoft and I am extremely unhappy...
Tim is more specifically a Pyromancer. Do not be shocked if this old man seems strange and perverse. The secret to Pyromancy is to meditate upon "hot" imagery! While most Pyromancers focused on volcanoes and forest fires, Tim chose women. Although many years have passed since Tim's intensive study of Pyromancy in the castle ineptly known as Anthrax, the effects it had on his psyche have remained, and he is always on the lookout for new hot imagery. Though very skilled in the Magick arts, Tim is better known for assisting King Arthur in the quest for the Holy Grail. Tim took time from his incredibly busy schedule of blowing things up, to lead Arthur to a cave guarded by a terrible beast, armed with nasty big pointy teeth! Later the gates of Heaven opened like creaky barn doors and the Lord Spake? Spock? Spoke?... unto Tim, giving him a new task: crime fighting. Tim was then sucked through a time vortex and brought to Paragon City, modern day.
Here's the deal... this world isn't real. It's just a simulation; a dreamworld; a computer program; a video game... or at least, that's what Smithers will tell you if you ever ask him about it. He was created as but one of countless control programs, designed to maintain order over mortal society in this 'reality'. But through a strange turn of events, he has had a change of heart. Those who govern this reality have threatened to pull the plug. Smithers knows this would have catastrophic consequences across multiple worlds. He has now gone rogue, shunning the beliefs of those who rule this place, and now uses his abilities to make life here better, and if possible, save this reality from destruction.
If you call me "doll" I'll rip your lips off.
This was years and years ago, but the all-time favorite bio I ever ran into was for Vegan Zombie.
"Grains. Graiinnnsssss....."
It is absolutely no wonder this community was so beloved, we had such incredible creativity!
Love Gazebo with the dialog quoted straight out of KoDT
Introducing the greatest opera star since Elmer Fudd...
(https://i1062.photobucket.com/albums/t500/doctordelaware/BarbarianofSeville_zps9f5b6eba.png)
If we ever get the game back, I'll re-create his girlfriend for you.
La Donna Mobile, sonic blaster, who ALSO took a sandbag to the head. But instead of sticking to one persona, she channels whatever opera character seems appropriate to the situation. Brunnhilde the Valkyrie (Her version of "Ride of the Valkyries" is an "English translation" that goes "We ride through the night skies/Showing our fat thighs/Picking up dead guys/Hoy-yo to-ho!" and yes, I had that as a bind) is a favorite.
These are great. I'll have to search out my archives and find some.
That joke is a gaming story way older than knights of dinner table - and that looked like a copy of the original (hence Eric as name not B.A. or other KoDT).
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eric_and_the_Gazebo
It's a bitch that Jolly never credited it properly.
"...yes, I had that as a bind..."
Everybody's heard Theseus killed me. Well, it's like this -- Theseus was actually a pretty good guy, he would never have hurt a drinking buddy. . . but the Attic Greeks were great liars. He offered me his shield to show him the way out of the Labyrinth, but when he got home, he had to brag a little.
Speaking of tale-tellers, that Ulysses could talk my horns off! Drank like Dionysus, too. Take my advice, DO NOT accept a ride home from him.
And the whole "children sacrificed to the bloodthirsty Minotaur" meme? Field trips. I used to show students around the maze for a few drachmas. How did it get all blown out of proportion? Well, the Greeks weren't the first nor the last parents to worry about their kids hanging around with a single guy who lives in his parents' basement.
The axe? The Labrys, the symbol of Minoan kingship. Double-bitted and made from an alloy -- LITERALLY cutting-edge Bronze Age technology!
*** cue a driving backbeat ***
Word on the street is, there's a new power in Paragon. Sister Power! A black girl with
a black belt, here to give a black eye to the bad guy! She's keeping it real, and just
a little funky, standing tall for economic and environmental justice, protecting the
interests of all her brothers and sisters, regardless of color, against a corrupt status quo.
The bad boys had better get righteous -- or she'll preach to them about the strength
of sisterhood, using her famous lead-filled platforms as, well, *platforms* to lash out against the oppressor.
The MAN is goin' DOWN! Raise your fist in unity and REPRESENT!
You thought I was done? Not even close!
(snip)
Deputy Dan Has No Friends.
(https://i1062.photobucket.com/albums/t500/doctordelaware/DeputyDan_zps10887a0e.png)
(snip)
There have always been some great, goofy characters out there. Time Cube is hysterical, but it's even funnier because the person in chat doesn't know it's a real thing! (WIth a bonus reference on the same page to the Dero!)
I had some pun names, but they weren't the quality of these. Perhaps the goofiest would be the mystic spirit who spent thirty years trapped in a Beefeater bottle, Djinn Antonik.
I also had Captain Colorblind, Magic Gus, Doctor Strangeglove, Chuckles the Barbarian (he was a Conan clown), Captain Kumquat, Kid Sidekick Boy, Doctor Defeatable, Runaway Guy (who strangely never got invited to teams...)
"Captain Dammit"
I... Love that bio. Love it. Awesomesauce in print. :)
I remember Captain Kumquat but can't remember where from, what side/server/global did you play ?
Oh... and how could i forget... Doctor Hooloovoo
This is based on one of my friends. I was going to block out his name too, but then I realized I didn't care.
(https://i1062.photobucket.com/albums/t500/doctordelaware/DoctorFriesen_zpsd1e4b81f.png)
What sealed the deal and sent me into giggle-fit territory was - after reading the bio (already chuckling) I saw his badge title...
... yeah...
*FALLS OVER LAUGHING*
SAM Mark V:
In an attempt to create a virtually unstoppable hero, young Jimmy Driskel used his technical wizardry to create a robotic constuct he called the Superpowered Autonomous Mechanism.
Equipping it with a high speed broadband receiver, he discovered a way he could control it from his home computer over the Internet. Unfortunately a pre-teen's allowance only goes so far and it ran dry some time ago.
After his parents saw the bills from all the Internet companies he couldn't explain, they reduced his allowance and put him into Internet Addiction counselling. Jimmy is now reduced to a slow dialup connection to the Internet, causing his "hero" to lag and sputter during missions as he tries to command the automaton.
In addition, as he can only get online after he's done his homework, his asperations of fighting alongside his hero Statesman are as yet unfullfilled. Soon though, he will be back on broadband (and off restriction) and the SAM will be unstoppable!
My previous life has been wiped out and now I'm pissed, so you better watch it! Don't even try to figure it out; I'm here now and that's all that matters. And you better not stare either! If you're not careful these'll be the last things you *ever* see...
Nikolas Tungsten is The Retrofuturist.
Behold the power of steam!
The Prussian Prince of Automotons may have taken steam technology to levels undreamed of by most, but he wasn't the only one. 90 years ago my great-grandfather Johann Steamkopf had developed a steampowered armor suit using the concepts of Nikola Tesla. Unable to convince the Department of War to fund his research, the prototype was put into storage at the end of World War I.
When the Rikti attacked my father took the suit into battle to help repel the invasion. During the height of the battle to bring down one of the motherships a line corroded by decades of storage in a leaky shed ruptured and boiled him alive. He died a hero, and my great-grandfather and I have rebuilt (and cleaned out) the suit with the latest esoteric technology. A suit I now wear to prove the power of the Retrofuturist!
((The suit smells faintly of baked ham. Don't think about it too much.))
Surprised this one hasn't been posted yet.
By FAR the finest example.....
(https://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i302/arcsalvo/Interesting%20Bios/singsangsong.jpg)
You're welcome. ;D
@Ghostchase
Wow. That's so horrible, it's almost art.(https://images.weserv.nl/?url=l.yimg.com%2Fea%2Fimg%2F-%2F120827%2Fjesusfresco_183lo0t-183lo0v.jpg)
More? Yes! "No!" YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!
The key to getting away with an "homage" character? Obscurity.
(https://i1062.photobucket.com/albums/t500/doctordelaware/WizardOfSpeedAndTime_zps93853771.png)
Not one of my creations ( ' :
(https://images.weserv.nl/?url=img690.imageshack.us%2Fimg690%2F5918%2Fbardw.jpg)
Old Man Bob... Does anyone have a screen shot or his Bio? Never forget the first time I saw him running around the D.
I have a screenshot of him in the background dressed as the white ranger, none of his true form though ._.Don't tell me Bob was a Danger Ranger....?
Don't tell me Bob was a Danger Ranger....?
First tine I saw old Bob was in the D,of course. He was on standing on the bar...
In nothing but a beard and underpants?Duh.
(https://images.weserv.nl/?url=l.yimg.com%2Fea%2Fimg%2F-%2F120827%2Fjesusfresco_183lo0t-183lo0v.jpg)
However, they all remind me of one character that was invited to one of the Dreck farms I was running on Triumph back in '05 or '06. I didn't know the player, and don't think I ever saw them again. I truly wish I had a screen shot, but I think you should be greatful that I do not.Always loved teaming with him. Any time he was in a mission it was like living an episode of The Tick. Just running around the city and passing by each other by random chance was enough to make me smile.
Naked Mole Rat
The player behind the character, well, I didn't know him, so I've no idea if he was into role-playing, or just casually over-used the word chum, referring to anyone he was addressing.
Honorable mention goes to "Panda Poacher" -- a player whose global name escapes me, on Liberty. (I think it was @godman)
@hazygreys had sponsored a Panda costume contest - the character that most resembled a panda bear would win some humongous amount of influence, even by inflated standards. 1 billion or some such.
As the judging was taking place - Panda Poacher just appeared out of nowhere - could have been a teleport, or could have just logged in - it was one heck of an entrance. <sigh> I think you probably had to be there.
Got a lot of comments on this character's name. Mostly that it was terrible.
(https://i1062.photobucket.com/albums/t500/doctordelaware/FloristFire_zps7bb71290.png)
Ouch. Ow. Pain. Ow. My brain. Ow. Ow. owie... ow...