In fact, if I was presented with the problem of hypothesizing a technology that could imitate one, maybe I would consider a light saber handle that contained a retractable thin metal extension that itself was designed to emit a very strong magnetic field, and within that field would be contained a very high energy plasma.
Arcana - I don't believe that I'm stroking your ego by acknowledging that you're one of the smartest people I've had the chance to interact with online. Despite that, you're positing solutions to the "lightsaber problem" that are the same low-hanging fruit that I was arguing about with my fellow nerds forty-years ago, and that decades of SIGS, BBS's, Fidonets, Usenet groups, and countless web forums have continued to propose to solve the problem of a real-world "lightsaber".
There is only a handful of technologies that can be brought to bear on the problem and despite some truly revolutionary advances in tech and scientific endeavor over four decades, it's still basically true.
Lightsabers are magic. There's no more point in dissecting them than there is in dissecting Harry Potter's wand. If fact, if we leave the realm of the films and start taking the novels into account then we have to account for the actual magical ingredients: the "force crystal" that is unique to each Jedi and that is basically identical to the phoenix feather at the core of Harry's wand.
Star Wars is not a science fiction story. It's a fairy tale dressed up in the trappings of a science fiction story. It tells you that from the outset. "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away..." If that wasn't already a big enough tip-off then the Republic serial opening sealed the deal for any adult who remembered watching them in the theaters and any kid who grew up with Commando Cody as part of his after-school kid's TV programming.
They exist because George Lucas thought a movie with "laser swords" would be cool and somebody suggested that "lightsaber" sounded cooler than "laser sword".
Likewise, arguing whether blaster bolts, i.e. "laser bullets", should have the kinetic energy to knock something down as opposed to simply vaporizing it. Laser bullets exist because they look cool. They knock people down because movie-goers relate to bullets that knock things down.
The real-world can't explain these things because they aren't real-world effects, at least not in the part of the universe that we live in.
Sure, it's fun to try and figure out how you could approximate the effects of Star Wars tech, but even someone as smart as you isn't coming up with anything really new and different to explain it. At some point, you have to say, "Eh, it's a movie. Let's just enjoy it for what it is."
Especially since blaster bolts are just lightsaber blades that aren't attached to a handle. There's no qualitative difference between a lightsaber and a blaster. The lightsaber is a Jedi weapon because only the Jedi have magic on their side to even out a battle where you bring a knife to a gunfight, not because there's something inherently "Jedi" about a laser sword (or whatever a lightsaber is). Finn is competent with a lightsaber, not because he's unknowingly Force-sensitive (though of course he might be) but because he's a trained soldier and a lightsaber is just another kind of energy weapon. Rey is masterful with it because she's the mundane kid who discovers that she's actually the magician's apprentice who was hidden from the evil Dark Lord that wants her power. She is magical, Finn is not, but you don't need magic to simply push a button and thrust and parry with a blade, regardless whether it's metal or some sort of contained energy field.
I'll tell you the truth about Republican and Empirical energy weapons - they're actually contained fields of quantum uncertainty; literal columns of quantum foam. The "light' is essentially Cherenkov radiation, where the surface of the tube of quantum particles interacts with the outside universe and some of the quantum potential escapes and becomes "real", releasing photons and assorted brands of high energy particles in the process.
A blaster bolt is an unstable field that collapses when it encounters an object, causing its payload of quantum flux to immediately assume form in the "real world", creating a mass of matter and anti-matter particles out of thin air, as it were, which instantly annihilate each other, producing the desired explosive effect that blows something up and sends it hurtling instead of just vaporizing it.
A lightsaber is only a difference of kind, not quality. It is simply attached to a handle that holds the containment field stable despite outside stresses and thus creates a controlled release of energy when it comes into contact with solid matter. In reality, if you observed a lightsaber blade for an extended period of time, you'd see all kinds of small "explosions" happening along its length continuously, as it encountered and annihilated every air molecule that bounced its way.
Sadly, we're still a ways off from realizing that technology in the 21st century.
And whatever you think of energy weapons, in the end they're just props in a story and understanding the props doesn't actually bring you to a better understanding of the story.