Author Topic: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates) (Read 224671 times)

Sugoi · « **Reply #260 on:** March 09, 2015, 10:47:25 AM »

This just in....

Mark Wahlberg has been signed as the spokesperson in a series of advertisements for the revival of City of Heroes.

When asked how he qualified for the position, he mentioned his upcoming role as sidekick to his best friend Ted in the upcoming movie Ted 3, where Ted gets exposed to magical Fairy Dust, gaining powers above and beyond the average bear, leading into his role as the star of the updated classic BBC children's animated series, Super-Ted!

Remember, you heard it here first!

Paragon Avenger · « **Reply #261 on:** March 09, 2015, 11:55:06 PM »

This just in,

Apparently the negoiations to purchase the MMORPG known as City of Heroes has hit a major snag. The TBADL, (Teddy Bear Anti Deformation League), has filed several injunctions demanding equal representation under any new or revamped City of Heroes title. Also, they are demanding that THeM feature Teddy Bears in every aspect of the City of Heroes management.
When asked for comment, Iron Wolf said, "Are you high?"

Paragon Avenger · « **Reply #262 on:** March 11, 2015, 05:27:59 AM »

This just in,

Apparently, the Teddy Bear Union has gotten involved with the purchase of City of Heroes.
They are picketting the NCSoft Headquarters building and stagging a sit-in.
Several of the Teddy Bears were overheard singing Kumbyla and other togetherness songs.
"Heck no, we won't leave." One of the Teddy Bears said.
When asked for comment, Mike or Steve said, "Why aren't you wearing pants?"

Paragon Avenger · « **Reply #263 on:** March 12, 2015, 04:12:46 AM »

This just in,
The good folks at the county health clinic helped me get my prescription filled.
After taking the reccommended dose, the angry Teddy Bears have vanished.
I now call my medicine, "My Anti-Teddy Bear Formula."

Now if we can get somebody to do something about all this tiny fairies demanding fairy crossing zones in super markets, we would be all set. Have you seen my pants?

Paragon Avenger · « **Reply #264 on:** March 13, 2015, 02:19:25 AM »

This just in,

The THeM and the NCSoft executives about a year ago reached an agreement and re-launched City of Heroes. You can play by invitation only. What a great way of controlling the environment. Sorry, I cannot tell you the URL, but you also need the game key to play. They will kick you off if they find you there without being asked to join. But I probably said too much. Nevermind, talks are on-going and the National Dairy Assocaition refuses to let anybody talk about it.

Paragon Avenger · « **Reply #265 on:** March 14, 2015, 12:39:39 AM »

This just in,

The National Dairy Association has asked me nicely if I would please be so kind and nice and retract my earlier post. They even thanked me for my understanding. So I hereby retract my previous post it was just a joke. There isn't any relaunch.
On a side note, my kneecaps are healing nicely and the doctor is confident that I will walk again.

Paragon Avenger · « **Reply #266 on:** March 15, 2015, 02:01:00 AM »

This just in,

I love you, but don't tell your parents.

Paragon Avenger · « **Reply #267 on:** March 17, 2015, 01:59:42 AM »

This just in,

The only thing standing in the way of us playing City of Heroes, is one minor detail that needs to be worked out.

Hand dryers or paper towels.

Paragon Avenger · « **Reply #268 on:** March 19, 2015, 12:44:45 AM »

This just in,

The deal fell-through I'm sorry to say.
It seems that somebody on these titan network forum has been making fun of NCSoft and South Korea and so forth. And doing weird stuff like claiming to be not wearing pants.
NCSoft has had enough.

If only we knew who this fiend could be.

Paragon Avenger · « **Reply #269 on:** March 21, 2015, 10:30:59 AM »

This just in,

City of Heroes IS back on-line, but you MUST have at least one blue star on the titan forums to play.

ParagonLurker · « **Reply #270 on:** March 21, 2015, 09:36:17 PM »

Drat!
I don't have a blue star.

Sugoi · « **Reply #271 on:** March 23, 2015, 02:00:44 AM »

Quote from: ParagonLurker on March 21, 2015, 09:36:17 PM

Drat!
I don't have a blue star.

"No COH for you!" (or me either)

Eoraptor · « **Reply #272 on:** March 23, 2015, 03:49:14 PM »

Meanwhile, in unrelated CoH news, with word today that Windows 10 may not allow customers to install other OSes, including downgrades to windows 7, users began seeking out their favourite cyber-themed heroes and villains for workarounds to install ArachnOS

Paragon Avenger · « **Reply #273 on:** March 24, 2015, 02:18:08 AM »

Quote from: Eoraptor on March 23, 2015, 03:49:14 PM

Meanwhile, in unrelated CoH news, with word today that Windows 10 may not allow customers to install other OSes, including downgrades to windows 7, users began seeking out their favourite cyber-themed heroes and villains for workarounds to install ArachnOS

I had used arachnOS.
It is great for searching the web.

Paragon Avenger · « **Reply #274 on:** March 26, 2015, 12:55:26 AM »

Been busy playing CoH, I have at least one blue star after all, so I haven't been able to post as much as you might want me to.

Let's see, ah. This Just In,

The THeM has reported progress. NCSoft no longer calls security every time they show-up.

Paragon Avenger · « **Reply #275 on:** April 02, 2015, 12:15:51 AM »

This just in,

City of Heroes is being ran by kittens. If you don't believe me, go to www.bing.com and click on the link in the left-most popup box. You better hurray, because if this truth gets out, they may shut it down.

Floride · « **Reply #276 on:** April 02, 2015, 01:28:47 AM »

OMG I just logged in!
I was going to play a coh demo file and accidentally launched the login screen like I've done many times before. But then I noticed Virtue had 3 RED dots, so I tried it and holy carp! I've been running missions for the past 4 hours!

Floride · « **Reply #277 on:** April 02, 2015, 01:30:56 AM »

Quote from: Floride on April 02, 2015, 01:28:47 AM

OMG I just logged in!
I was going to play a coh demo file and accidentally launched the login screen like I've done many times before. But then I noticed Virtue had 3 RED dots, so I tried it and holy carp! I've been running missions for the past 4 hours!

April Fools!

Paragon Avenger · « **Reply #278 on:** April 02, 2015, 02:12:23 AM »

Quote from: Floride on April 02, 2015, 01:28:47 AM

OMG I just logged in!
I was going to play a coh demo file and accidentally launched the login screen like I've done many times before. But then I noticed Virtue had 3 RED dots, so I tried it and holy carp! I've been running missions for the past 4 hours!

I knew that it was an April Fools joke.
First, Virtue with 3 reds, it was Freedom that always had 3 reds.
Second, you have to have at least one blue star to play CoH.

Paragon Avenger · « **Reply #279 on:** April 03, 2015, 05:40:21 AM »

This just in,

The THeM reports progress.
They have actually gotten several NCSoft executives to admit that NCSoft once had a game called City of Heroes.

News:

Author Topic: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates) (Read 224671 times)