Author Topic: I had a 'relapse' moment today.  (Read 10076 times)

DrakeGrimm

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I had a 'relapse' moment today.
« on: December 12, 2012, 11:49:28 PM »
For those that do not know, I work in the Mall of America in Minnesota. It's a very large mall, and each section has a different architectural and aesthetic style to try to 'break up' the monotony of the place. The South section is done up in lots of white, with inset lights, including the ceilings. It's very pretty.

I caught myself thinking, today, that I'd like to try to build that ceiling in the base editor. Specifically, the thought was "I wonder if I can recreate that ceiling in the base editor?" A split second later I caught myself and winced internally. The answer, of course, is no. No, I cannot recreate that ceiling in the base editor, because my base is gone. My City is gone. My home is gone.

We've reached another 'hurry up and wait' stage of our multi-tiered war against NCSoft, the destroyers of our beloved home. Make no mistake, this war is about getting our City back. Nothing more, nothing less. Our victory parameters are not the destruction of NCSoft, or the unemployment of its employees, or perpetuating misery and suffering. We have a single victory parameter: The return of our City, in the hands of a responsible party. The moment that happens, we withdraw. Period.

It's been quoted on this forum that we shouldn't expect movement from Disney--one way or the other--until after the New Year. That makes this a waiting game, something that is very hard for us to do. The loss of our City is still raw, still burns like a fresh wound. Many of us shed tears regularly, myself included. Some, shed tears daily. It's easy, during this moment of sadness and grief, to give in to despair and hopelessness. Then I see something that galvanizes me.

"We put ourselves in "the attitude of heroes"--and we all became a little more heroic." - VV

Those words come from our very own Victoria Victrix, who we have also come to know as the much lauded and acclaimed fantasy author Mercedes Lackey. These words strike straight into the heart and soul of our movement. I am uncertain if, as she typed them, she realized the import they carried. This does not change the fact that, for me at least, they are a fundamental truth. Through exploring a City of Heroes, we ourselves became heroic. City of Heroes promoted teamwork, companionship, and compassion. By playing that game, by "living" in that world, we took some of that into ourselves. City did not make us heroes, but it compelled us to make ourselves into heroes.

"We are heroes. This is what we do." - TonyV

Our rallying cry has sprang forth from this. Amidst cries of "AP33!" and "Save our City!", these words continue to ring out and pierce the dark corners of the internet. They resonate with each of us, because each of us has, in turn, taken in something heroic from our time spent in Paragon City. Even the villains among us, having stood beside us for such threats as the Rikti, Mot, and the Praetorians, recognize that sometimes--just sometimes--even the self-serving must stand for the many. At the very least, they recognize that they must stand for their own world. After all, that's where all their stuff is!

Many people who played our game, who walked our City streets, have found true love, happiness, and powerful friendships through City of Heroes. I found the most important person in my life through this game's community, and so have many of my friends. For those of us who had the opportunity to be brought together, I am grateful. Many, however, will not be given that chance now. Who knows how many will never meet someone they were meant to be with? For those who have lost this opportunity to NCSoft's own short-sightedness, my heart weeps.

I stand resolute. I will not falter. We will not fail. Stand with me. Raise your head. Dry your tears. We have mourned and buried our dead. It's time to get our metaphorical guns and stick to them. Spread the word. Raise awareness. Shout at the heavens. Don't limit yourself to your own friends and family, don't limit your sharing of knowledge to just other gamers and geeks. Reach out to your communities. Talk to random people you meet. Spread the word. Fight the fall of our City.

Don't sit on your laurels waiting to hear back from Disney on TF Hail Mary. Keep sending letters. Get others to send letters. Letters, and letters, and letters. Wrote one already? Write more. Let them know that you're interested enough to keep on top of it, and keep shouting at the heavens. I want NCSoft to hear our roars of defiance all the way in South Korea. I want the Mouse to hear our combined voices and realize that there is a market here. There is a strong, willful, loyal community waiting to give them money if they invest in restoring our City to its former glory.

Give not an inch. Delay not a second. Don't just stand your ground, advance. It's time to start fighting back, not give up.
We are the crazy ones, the mavericks, the dreamers, the forgotten sons. We color outside the lines for fun. We are the crazy ones! - "The Crazy Ones," Stellar Revival

"We put ourselves in "the attitude of heroes"--and we all became a little more heroic." - VV

Lucretia MacEvil

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Re: I had a 'relapse' moment today.
« Reply #1 on: December 13, 2012, 12:36:05 AM »
I still come up with new character concepts sometimes.  Having to remind myself that I can't actually make them is incredibly painful.

Stay Strong! 


Jordan_Lee

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Re: I had a 'relapse' moment today.
« Reply #2 on: December 13, 2012, 12:55:31 AM »
lol when CoH comes back you should hire yourself out as a supergroup base interior designer. I couldn't do much of anything with my base.

:( I still have the game in my start menu, I want to play soooo bad. I miss my characters and my badges.

Victoria Victrix

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Re: I had a 'relapse' moment today.
« Reply #3 on: December 13, 2012, 02:42:39 AM »
Thank you, Grimmie.  There is a reason why this season, back in the Old Times, was not joyous, but fearful.  What if the sun continues to dim?  What if it goes out and leaves us forever in the darkness?

We have to band together against the growing darkness and fight for the return of the sun.
I will go down with this ship.  I won't put my hands up in surrender.  There will be no white flag above my door.  I'm in love, and always will be.  Dido

healix

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Re: I had a 'relapse' moment today.
« Reply #4 on: December 13, 2012, 02:46:09 AM »

Listen to the 'mustn'ts'. Listen to the 'don'ts'. Listen to the 'shouldn'ts', the 'impossibles', the 'won'ts'. Listen to the 'you'll never haves', then listen close to me... Anything can happen . Anything can be.

JanessaVR

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Re: I had a 'relapse' moment today.
« Reply #5 on: December 13, 2012, 02:51:22 AM »
Got a new wallpaper.  Thanks much.

Aggelakis

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Re: I had a 'relapse' moment today.
« Reply #6 on: December 13, 2012, 03:05:16 AM »

Oh man, do you have that in ginormous size? Say... 1920x1080 ? :p
Bob Dole!! Bob Dole. Bob Dole! Bob Dole. Bob Dole. Bob Dole... Bob Dole... Bob... Dole...... Bob...


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Perfidus

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Re: I had a 'relapse' moment today.
« Reply #7 on: December 13, 2012, 03:16:15 AM »
Thank you for this post, Drake. It's exactly what I needed to read tonight.

You have my sword.

NecrotechMaster

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Re: I had a 'relapse' moment today.
« Reply #8 on: December 13, 2012, 03:21:51 AM »
I still come up with new character concepts sometimes.  Having to remind myself that I can't actually make them is incredibly painful.

Stay Strong!

with the icon program that codewalker worked up you semi-can create characters and stories for them

Triplash

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Re: I had a 'relapse' moment today.
« Reply #9 on: December 13, 2012, 03:48:36 AM »
Oh man, do you have that in ginormous size? Say... 1920x1080 ? :p

Yes please!

Lovin' that one, healix :D

healix

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Re: I had a 'relapse' moment today.
« Reply #10 on: December 13, 2012, 04:14:06 AM »
Try this...



Larger
Listen to the 'mustn'ts'. Listen to the 'don'ts'. Listen to the 'shouldn'ts', the 'impossibles', the 'won'ts'. Listen to the 'you'll never haves', then listen close to me... Anything can happen . Anything can be.

Colette

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Re: I had a 'relapse' moment today.
« Reply #11 on: December 13, 2012, 04:21:52 AM »
Well said, Drake, and well done, Healix.

We have taken the initiative and moved with urgency. It's less than two weeks since the lights went out in Paragon City. We've accomplished a lot in that time. A heroic effort, in fact!

But we must also have patience. That doesn't come easy for us. Whatever the case, I'm confident our adversary is at least aware that he made a dreadful blunder, one that will haunt his company for however long they uphold that callous phrase, "shut down permanently."

Whatever happens, I'm here to the end, too, with the puny skills I have to offer. Whether that end will be the surrender of Paragon by NCSoft, or the "low road," as I have dubbed it, only the years will tell.

Tubbius

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Re: I had a 'relapse' moment today.
« Reply #12 on: December 13, 2012, 04:25:27 AM »
I've caught myself doing that sort of thing before Drake, but not from City of Heroes--from DOOM.  I used to make levels all the time for DOOM--danged good ones, too, and I still find myself thinking of stuff in terms of linedefs, sectors, and vertices.  :)

I can certainly sympathize.  I've gone multiple weeks without getting to touch City much before thanks to work--longer than this.  It's the fact that double-clicking that icon on my desktop won't do anything now that hurts.

Vasarto

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Re: I had a 'relapse' moment today.
« Reply #13 on: December 13, 2012, 04:27:26 AM »
I wanted to make a Whinnie the pooh character and make him into a Tank of some kind.
I made one with Hero Editor but I think I should had shrunk the guy down a bit.


HERE HE IS!
Spoiler for Hidden:



I think I should had miniaturized him.

FatherXmas

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Re: I had a 'relapse' moment today.
« Reply #14 on: December 13, 2012, 04:42:03 AM »
Tempus unum hominem manet

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Vasarto

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Re: I had a 'relapse' moment today.
« Reply #15 on: December 13, 2012, 05:01:53 AM »
I made this up for a little Holiday Cheer!

Invuln + Super STR

Spoiler for Hidden:



Tahquitz

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Re: I had a 'relapse' moment today.
« Reply #16 on: December 13, 2012, 05:10:49 AM »
Thank you for this post, Drake. It's exactly what I needed to read tonight.

You have my sword.

And my schteel!

Damn it! (Turns Army of Darkness off.)
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Perfidus

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Re: I had a 'relapse' moment today.
« Reply #17 on: December 13, 2012, 05:14:42 AM »
You don't turn off Army of Darkness until it's over. Those are the rules.

Ziggy1890

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Re: I had a 'relapse' moment today.
« Reply #18 on: December 13, 2012, 05:35:13 AM »
Man I miss camp snoopy..

Colette

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Re: I had a 'relapse' moment today.
« Reply #19 on: December 13, 2012, 05:51:01 AM »
(Irrrelevant dithering warning.)

And my uh... hmmm.... :: Looks around. :: My trained attack kitten!

I still call up the MIDS designer. I enjoyed making builds. While I still think the IO system needed balancing and tinkering, it was very neat to be able to tailor your character into something unique.

I made up "Colette" as a team scrapper in defiance of the solo scrapper model. In all her variants (stalk, brute) she had the leadership togs and healing to bring to the team. I was really salivating over that magic pool too. She played with the team in mind as well, stomping sappers on sight, and woe to anything that dared attack a squishie on her watch.

Ascendant used my Invul build, designed to maximize psi resist and hit points. He said the build was "golden." Very proud. Interestingly, Smersh took a different direction and maxed his def.

When the came starts up again, whistle me up. I'll make 'ya a build.
« Last Edit: December 13, 2012, 06:20:36 AM by Colette »

DrakeGrimm

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Re: I had a 'relapse' moment today.
« Reply #20 on: December 13, 2012, 05:54:01 AM »
You don't turn off Army of Darkness until it's over. Those are the rules.

That's right. Hail to the King, baby.
We are the crazy ones, the mavericks, the dreamers, the forgotten sons. We color outside the lines for fun. We are the crazy ones! - "The Crazy Ones," Stellar Revival

"We put ourselves in "the attitude of heroes"--and we all became a little more heroic." - VV

Electric-Knight

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Re: I had a 'relapse' moment today.
« Reply #21 on: December 13, 2012, 06:57:50 AM »
I had a tiny bit of a relapse moment in a different way...

Please understand that it was not uncommon for me to not log in for a week or maybe two now and then (especially the past year, as I've been busy on a big project of mine)...
So, it just sort of hit me the other day. I came home really exhausted and beaten down from some long hours of work and found myself wanting to play.
I knew full well that I couldn't, so it wasn't one of those brain lapses... but it was just that first moment when I truly, naturally, instinctively said, "I want to log in for a bit".
Sure, I wanted to log in the Saturday after the shut down, but... this was different.

Anyhow... We're here, standing shoulder to shoulder... for each other... for our game... for that work of art... for what's right.
I'm very happy to be amongst you all. :)
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LightofthePhoenix

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Re: I had a 'relapse' moment today.
« Reply #22 on: December 13, 2012, 07:30:56 AM »
I had a relapse this past Saturday (about a week after the shut down...) as well.  I was looking at my list of games in Steam just trying to find something to play.  Note: This list includes a wide variety of games including Champions Online and Star Trek Online.

As I looked at the list and mentally checked off each game as one I didn't feel like playing at the time I just thought to myself "Eh.  I really don't feel like playing any of these.  I'll just go play good ol'... City... of Heroes..."  And yes, that is exactly how it went down in my head.  The use of 'good ol'' just before my slow realization of what I was thinking.  Needless to say I was genuinely depressed for at least a couple hours after that.
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Kuriositys Kat

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Re: I had a 'relapse' moment today.
« Reply #23 on: December 13, 2012, 07:45:53 AM »
I smell a new lapel pin.

Dang it  I  knew I should have cultivated more interest in jewelry making besides stringing pearls.  Only  proper enameling will do that justice.
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Triplash

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Re: I had a 'relapse' moment today.
« Reply #24 on: December 13, 2012, 08:22:10 AM »
And my uh... hmmm.... :: Looks around. :: My trained attack kitten!


SARobb

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Re: I had a 'relapse' moment today.
« Reply #25 on: December 13, 2012, 02:59:18 PM »
I'm not one to wax poetic with words.  But I do understand the feeling.  I had one of those moments the other day when driving home.

Self: yaknow.... i wanna sit down and play jen (my mind/psy/psy dommie)
*gets excited cause the toon is fun*

Self: yep... grab a beer... sit dow- oh... that's right.
*suddenly the drive home seemed a lot longer*

So ya. I sat down and played Champions. Which pales in comparison to CoH... because I needed some sort of hero fix and I wasn't about to play that abomination DCUO... it didn't fix the fact that our home is dark right now, but it was something.  That, and I dug up Jock's stories and am in the process of sharing them in this link: http://www.cohtitan.com/forum/index.php/topic,7313.0.html
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corvus1970

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Re: I had a 'relapse' moment today.
« Reply #26 on: December 13, 2012, 03:15:26 PM »
That's right. Hail to the King, baby.

"Lady, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave the store."
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Lucretia MacEvil

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Re: I had a 'relapse' moment today.
« Reply #27 on: December 13, 2012, 04:46:39 PM »
with the icon program that codewalker worked up you semi-can create characters and stories for them

:O  where...?

johnrobey

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Re: I had a 'relapse' moment today.
« Reply #28 on: December 13, 2012, 04:47:26 PM »


Thanks, Healix, for yet another BIG smile!   8)
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Globetrotter

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Re: I had a 'relapse' moment today.
« Reply #30 on: December 13, 2012, 10:08:29 PM »


Which is exactly why I can't go anywhere else. Visiting these forums, playing the demos and the demo-editor helps me to ovecome my relapse moments.
Gutta cavat lapidem, non vi, sed saepe cadendo.

dwturducken

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Re: I had a 'relapse' moment today.
« Reply #31 on: December 13, 2012, 10:38:28 PM »
That'd be an awesome ball cap, too. I really wish I still wore those!
I wouldn't use the word "replace," but there's no word for "take over for you and make everything better almost immediately," so we just say "replace."

DrakeGrimm

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Re: I had a 'relapse' moment today.
« Reply #32 on: December 13, 2012, 11:22:46 PM »
We need a button. And a patch. And a t-shirt. We need that emblem everywhere, really. Everywhere. >.>
We are the crazy ones, the mavericks, the dreamers, the forgotten sons. We color outside the lines for fun. We are the crazy ones! - "The Crazy Ones," Stellar Revival

"We put ourselves in "the attitude of heroes"--and we all became a little more heroic." - VV

healix

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Re: I had a 'relapse' moment today.
« Reply #33 on: December 14, 2012, 01:09:22 PM »
Easy enough to buy tee shirt transfer paper, get the pic/emblem you want and iron it on the front or back of a shirt...wear with pride. Could also do ball caps, aprons, jackets, canvas bags etc. This is the back of a tee shirt I did in 2005.


I am now inpired to make a new one. I will post it as soon as it's done.

Listen to the 'mustn'ts'. Listen to the 'don'ts'. Listen to the 'shouldn'ts', the 'impossibles', the 'won'ts'. Listen to the 'you'll never haves', then listen close to me... Anything can happen . Anything can be.

Perfidus

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Re: I had a 'relapse' moment today.
« Reply #34 on: December 14, 2012, 10:09:35 PM »
Reading that article on onrpg.com, the interview with Matt and Melissa, was very difficult for me, and caused yet another 'relapse' moment.

JetFlash

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Re: I had a 'relapse' moment today.
« Reply #35 on: December 14, 2012, 10:17:43 PM »
Man I miss camp snoopy..

Bah... all I need is the LEGO Store.   :D

JaguarX

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Re: I had a 'relapse' moment today.
« Reply #36 on: December 14, 2012, 10:42:42 PM »

Don't sit on your laurels waiting to hear back from Disney on TF Hail Mary. Keep sending letters. Get others to send letters. Letters, and letters, and letters. Wrote one already? Write more. Let them know that you're interested enough to keep on top of it, and keep shouting at the heavens. I want NCSoft to hear our roars of defiance all the way in South Korea. I want the Mouse to hear our combined voices and realize that there is a market here. There is a strong, willful, loyal community waiting to give them money if they invest in restoring our City to its former glory.

Give not an inch. Delay not a second. Don't just stand your ground, advance. It's time to start fighting back, not give up.

Speaking of which, I need to go ahead and work on my letter to Disney and other entities. I'm coming up with a list of people to contact in case the Plan Zs  is the option that will continue on, and see if they interested in throwing their weight behind the projects and or when it's time, some marketing, thorugh radios, commericials in Atlanta on the radio and other stuff to get the name and product out. Hell, I'll go as far as paying for a few commericals myself if I have to when the time comes and or convince my friend E. who played COX for years and who make my account look like  sofa change to get behind the project and help out even if it's just for the game, but that task is about as daunting as convincing NCSoft to let go of it IP but I can walk away saying I tried them. If anyone have any tips to help me out with convincing E. to let go of some cash to support the project, way more than I can let go (if she wanted to and can convince her husband probably could buy a good portion of the IP today themselves if they chose to and NCSoft was willing to let go (going by a buy price of 15-30 million dollars.), I'm all ears. Of course this will be all moot if another company picks up the IP but just in case, help me help out in anyways I can on the fincancial standpoint when the time comes for that.

Sajaana

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Re: I had a 'relapse' moment today.
« Reply #37 on: December 16, 2012, 02:35:23 AM »
The mention of the base editor brought a tear to my eye.  :'(

I remember the bases I built.  The one I was most proud of was my base for The Villains of Paragon City on the Virtue server.  You see, Arbiter Fallen's base was taken down in John Starkweather's absence, so it fell unto me, in May, to design the whole thing from scratch.

It was still never completed.  I used all 20,000 decorative items and was constantly going in there, substituting one item that could do the work of five, and so on.  But in that time, I built some of the most beautiful structures that I ever did, sinking hundreds of hours into it.

I built an arena with at least a hundred seats for spectators.

I built a full medical bay with operating rooms and a holding area for test subjects.

I built a four building barracks with three floors each.  It looked like an apartment block from Dark Astoria or Kings Row.  about 5,000 items were in that room alone.

I built a tank with a crew compartment that could hold a dozen troops.  Battle stations in the turret and in the hull.

I built a small shuttle in our seven room space battlecruiser, designed to go up against Jagged Edge's space station SG base in a roleplay battle we never waged.

And I was even building a new security entrance the day I...heard the news on August 29th.

...I never worked on that VoPC base again after that...

It seems that we had more urgent things to worry about, like exploring content, getting badges, experiencing the game before it went out.

And yet, even though I don't have the base anymore, I can still imagine myself walking through its halls as Femme Fencer.  I can imagine with clarity jumping over items, examining every room.  It makes me believe what Thomas Hobbes said about the end of the world, that if everything in the universe were destroyed, the human mind would be able to recreate it in every detail.

Indeed, if we ever do get the game back, I'd redo everything if had to be redone.  And, hopefully DrakeGrimm, you'll be able to recreate that roof in your own SG base.

DrakeGrimm

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Re: I had a 'relapse' moment today.
« Reply #38 on: December 17, 2012, 08:57:24 AM »
Our City will return. Never lose hope. Never lose faith. Never give up.
We are the crazy ones, the mavericks, the dreamers, the forgotten sons. We color outside the lines for fun. We are the crazy ones! - "The Crazy Ones," Stellar Revival

"We put ourselves in "the attitude of heroes"--and we all became a little more heroic." - VV

Victoria Victrix

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Re: I had a 'relapse' moment today.
« Reply #39 on: December 17, 2012, 09:30:26 AM »
The Marines are still collecting Toys for Tots.

Go get something, no matter how small, and donate it. 

If you can afford 20...do that (we did, one for each kid at Sandy Hook).
I will go down with this ship.  I won't put my hands up in surrender.  There will be no white flag above my door.  I'm in love, and always will be.  Dido

DrakeGrimm

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Re: I had a 'relapse' moment today.
« Reply #40 on: December 17, 2012, 09:56:56 AM »
The Marines are still collecting Toys for Tots.

Go get something, no matter how small, and donate it. 

If you can afford 20...do that (we did, one for each kid at Sandy Hook).

This is a fantastic idea for those who can manage it. :)
We are the crazy ones, the mavericks, the dreamers, the forgotten sons. We color outside the lines for fun. We are the crazy ones! - "The Crazy Ones," Stellar Revival

"We put ourselves in "the attitude of heroes"--and we all became a little more heroic." - VV

TargetOne

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Re: I had a 'relapse' moment today.
« Reply #41 on: December 17, 2012, 07:57:10 PM »

Darkness De Ding

  • Underling
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Re: I had a 'relapse' moment today.
« Reply #42 on: December 27, 2012, 12:22:17 AM »
Everywhere it shall be. I wanna plaster them all over where I work.
Me? Just a blaster? My shoes will kick your ass.