Author Topic: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates) (Read 224108 times)

Taceus Jiwede · « **Reply #320 on:** May 11, 2015, 05:57:12 AM »

Quote from: Paragon Avenger on May 11, 2015, 03:30:40 AM

This just in,
The THeM has reported that the National Dairy Association still refuses to allow the THeM to discuss particulars about the game deal. Here is what we know so far.
There once was a game
The game was an MMO
The game was a superhero/supervillian themed RPG
The game was administered by NCSoft for several years
The game was under maintenance and new development by a subsidiary company or not
The game had the name City of Heroes or something similar
The game had subscribers at one time
The game was shut down for a reason or reasons that have not/ will not be disclosed
And I'm not left-handed

........ number 9 seems a little fishy.......I feel like something is being....left out!

Floride · « **Reply #321 on:** May 11, 2015, 02:32:34 PM »

News For May, 11, 2015:

Today, again, nothing happened.

Murray Weinstein
Staff Reporter - Paragon Times

If you see a villain or a hero or a humungous monster, please contact Murray Weinstein immediately at 555-1212. Any information will be rewarded by both Mayor Morales and Provost Marchand.

Paragon Avenger · « **Reply #322 on:** May 12, 2015, 03:52:16 AM »

Quote from: Taceus Jiwede on May 11, 2015, 05:57:12 AM

........ number 9 seems a little fishy.......I feel like something is being....left out!

No, that was from "The Princess Bride"

Paragon Avenger · « **Reply #323 on:** May 13, 2015, 03:27:14 AM »

This just in,

Breakthrough, the THeM has reported that they have actually found the NCSoft headquarters building. They arrived too late to make an appointment with the guy who can put them in touch with the guy who has the telephone number of somebody who claims to have heard of City of Heroes. THeM will try again tomorrow to get in to see the person who schedules appointments. Keep your fingers crossed.

Hats off to that one guy who realized that they had been only making left-hand turns. He was quoted as saying, "Hey, maybe we should try turning right, once."

Paragon Avenger · « **Reply #324 on:** May 14, 2015, 12:53:11 AM »

Quote from: Paragon Avenger on May 13, 2015, 03:27:14 AM

This just in,

Breakthrough, the THeM has reported that they have actually found the NCSoft headquarters building. They arrived too late to make an appointment with the guy who can put them in touch with the guy who has the telephone number of somebody who claims to have heard of City of Heroes. THeM will try again tomorrow to get in to see the person who schedules appointments. Keep your fingers crossed.

Hats off to that one guy who realized that they had been only making left-hand turns. He was quoted as saying, "Hey, maybe we should try turning right, once."

This just in,

It turns out that the THeM didn't go to see the guy who schedules appointments today. One of the members of THeM was having a bad hair day. Another member lost a sock in the dryer. And the driver felt like staying inside and reading.
Here's hoping that tomorrow goes better.

Floride · « **Reply #325 on:** May 14, 2015, 12:56:08 AM »

Quote from: Paragon Avenger on May 14, 2015, 12:53:11 AM

This just in,

It turns out that the THeM didn't go to see the guy who schedules appointments today. One of the members of THeM was having a bad hair day. Another member lost a sock in the dryer. And the driver felt like staying inside and reading.
Here's hoping that tomorrow goes better.

This just in..
In Korea it's already tomorrow. We're all dooooomed!

Tubbius · « **Reply #326 on:** May 14, 2015, 04:18:46 PM »

This just in:

People out on the street report seeing a four feet tall, plump penguin with a humanoid musculature poking his head around an alleyway and looking fearfully about. When approached with a fresh fish, the mutated bird asked squeakily, "Where Waddle? Waddle hero. Waddle want HOME!" before taking the offered fish in his beak and leaping away, landing atop a nearby motel and taking off in a run across the building.

No penguins are reported missing from local zoos. Thus, the origins of this mysterious "Waddle" are, indeed, mysterious. More news later.

Paragon Avenger · « **Reply #327 on:** May 15, 2015, 04:25:09 AM »

This just in,
It is indeed tomorrow already in Korean.
The THeM have been arguing about where to go for breakfast.
The argument lasted up until lunch. The team was so hungry that they just went to the first place they came across. Unfortunately, they all got sick from over-eating and went home to lay down.

(It maybe completely fake news, but it does explain alot.)

Floride · « **Reply #328 on:** May 16, 2015, 05:28:24 AM »

This just in...
Son of NCSoft CEO Kim Taek-Jin recently revealed the events surrounding the closure of the Superhero MMO CIty of Heroes. "My dad was all like 'you gotta stop spending all night playing that game and do your homework' and I was all like 'no way dude, I'd rather play CoH' and he was all like 'stop playing that game or I'll make you stop' and I was all like 'you can't stop me old man' and he was all like 'oh yeah? watch me' then he made a phone call and I was all like 'dude, that was sooo uncool'".

Paragon Avenger · « **Reply #329 on:** May 17, 2015, 08:00:34 AM »

This just in,
The THeM was all set to meet the guy to make the appointment to talk to the guy who knows the guy with the phone number of somebody who recently acknowledged that City of Heroes existed, when the offices were closed for a national holiday or something. Dejected, the THeM drowned their sorrows in ice cream novelties and fireworks. The team got arrested for being too happy in public without a license and spent the night in jail.

Paragon Avenger · « **Reply #330 on:** May 18, 2015, 08:12:35 PM »

This just in,
with renewed hope, the THeM set off to the NCSoft corporate offices.
They realized too late that it was the weekend and the offices were closed.
Completely bummed by this whole exprience, the THeM went baby-clothes shopping for no apparent reason.

Paragon Avenger · « **Reply #331 on:** May 20, 2015, 02:15:36 AM »

This just in,

The THeM has decided to form a rock band.
They were going to be called the "Hail Marys", but that name was already taken.
So then they picked the name "The Team", but it is copyrighted.
Next, they finally decided on "The Group Trying to get City of Heroes Back", but they kept getting confused with "The Guys Working to get City of Heroes Back" and that group has a bad rep.

Paragon Avenger · « **Reply #332 on:** May 21, 2015, 02:57:59 AM »

This just in,

Oh happy day.
The THeM actually went to NCSoft today and met with a company representative. After the 3 hour meeting, the things that got decided are:

THem is to stop harrassing NCSoft employees
No one on the Titan Forum is to say anything like NCSoft is a bunch of [grapefruit]
City of Heroes will be shut down at the end of November and no amount of time travel will change that
NCSoft agreed to allow THeM to make appointments in the future at some undisclosed date
THeM agreed that they will wear pants to the next meeting

Ankhammon · « **Reply #333 on:** May 21, 2015, 04:34:01 PM »

Minutes from the meeting:

NCSoft: You say you want a revolution? Well, you know, we all want to rule the game...

THeM: Nowhere man, don't worry. Take your time. Don't hurry. Nowhere man, the City is at your command...

Floride · « **Reply #334 on:** May 21, 2015, 09:10:43 PM »

CoH MMO set for relaunch!
That's right, you heard it here first. The developer of the failed MMO has decided to relaunch it's popular franchise and plans to have the game in beta testing by August.
Sources confirm Relic has officially greenlighted Company of Heroes online!

Paragon Avenger · « **Reply #335 on:** May 22, 2015, 02:23:26 AM »

This just in,

NCSoft is actively searching for a buyer for the City of Heroes franchise. The problem is that there is this weird group who keep bugging them wanting to buy the thing. One unnamed executive, who wished to remain anonymous, said, "We want to sell it to Nabisco, but we have to deal with this 'Hail Mary' crowd."

Paragon Avenger · « **Reply #336 on:** May 23, 2015, 04:46:36 PM »

This just in,

The THeM went pants shopping for their upcoming meetings with NCSoft. These Koreans and their customs.

Paragon Avenger · « **Reply #337 on:** May 25, 2015, 04:24:25 AM »

This just in,

THeM member Steve or was it David.
Anyway, let's call him George.
So George accused one of the other members of stealing his pants.
Joel, let's call the other guy Joel, punched George in the nose.
Mark, another THeM member knocked the two other members heads together.
George stuck out his fist and said, "I dare you to hit that."
Joel hit it on the top and George swung his arm around and hit Joel on top of the head.
Mark said, "Oh, a wise guy and pinched George's nose with a pair of pliers."

It was funny, you had to be there.

LaughingAlex · « **Reply #338 on:** May 25, 2015, 05:50:22 AM »

(Continuing my fake news from earlier last year).

This just in: Perfect world entertainment plans to up the cost of all existing costumes, even the crappy ones, to twenty five dollars an hour. Also expect the latest costumes to be released in an abyssal state of plain uglyness. Expect idiots in the forums to back up the decision and- Oh, this also just in. PWE has decided enough was enough, canned the developers, and moved it back to it's original studio because the latest one's brains had fallen out listening to idiots who backed up decisions full well knowing people would quit and leave.

Paragon Avenger · « **Reply #339 on:** May 25, 2015, 08:14:18 AM »

Quote from: LaughingAlex on May 25, 2015, 05:50:22 AM

(Continuing my fake news from earlier last year).
twenty five dollars an hour.

You know that's 340 bob, nobody can afford that.

News:

Author Topic: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates) (Read 224108 times)