The WACKIEST Personal Bios! (WARNING - IMAGE HEAVY)

[Tubbius]

I was half-expecting for someone to post Tubbius's or Waddle the Penguin's bios and pics in here. 

[Ice Trix]

These are great. I'll have to search out my archives and find some.

Love Gazebo with the dialog quoted straight out of KoDT

That joke is a gaming story way older than knights of dinner table - and that looked like a copy of the original (hence Eric as name not B.A. or other KoDT).
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eric_and_the_Gazebo

It's a bitch that Jolly never credited it properly.

[Victoria Victrix]

Introducing the greatest opera star since Elmer Fudd...

If we ever get the game back, I'll re-create his girlfriend for you.

La Donna Mobile, sonic blaster, who ALSO took a sandbag to the head.  But instead of sticking to one persona, she channels whatever opera character seems appropriate to the situation.  Brunnhilde the Valkyrie (Her version of "Ride of the Valkyries" is an "English translation" that goes "We ride through the night skies/Showing our fat thighs/Picking up dead guys/Hoy-yo to-ho!" and yes, I had that as a bind) is a favorite.

[DoctorDelaware]

If we ever get the game back, I'll re-create his girlfriend for you.

La Donna Mobile, sonic blaster, who ALSO took a sandbag to the head.  But instead of sticking to one persona, she channels whatever opera character seems appropriate to the situation.  Brunnhilde the Valkyrie (Her version of "Ride of the Valkyries" is an "English translation" that goes "We ride through the night skies/Showing our fat thighs/Picking up dead guys/Hoy-yo to-ho!" and yes, I had that as a bind) is a favorite.

That is amazing. I wholeheartedly approve.

[samfivedot]

"Disposable Hero."

Anyone who references Scud the Disposable Assassin gets a thumbs up in my book!

[Minotaur]

These are great. I'll have to search out my archives and find some.

That joke is a gaming story way older than knights of dinner table - and that looked like a copy of the original (hence Eric as name not B.A. or other KoDT).
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eric_and_the_Gazebo

It's a bitch that Jolly never credited it properly.

Yeah, you're right, of course it was "I waste it with my crossbow" in KoDT (it was the thief rather than BA who's the GM). Would have to go back to my printed copy to see if he acknowledges it anywhere in there.

[Merseine]

"...yes, I had that as a bind..."

ROFLMAO!!

[DoctorDelaware]

Want more? No? Too bad!

Somehow Exalted is where my Blaxploitation-themed characters ended up.



Robots!



More robots!



And finally (...FOR NOW!...) one of my absolute favorites. This guy never failed to make me laugh.

[Kriiden]

I remember meeting that accountant guy. I was more dubious then anything else. "How could ANYONE be able to do that", I thought. I offered him some influence, which he graciously declined, stating his challenge, and not wanting any help. I thought it was crazy, seeing as how I could never work WW in my favor. Then I realized I didn't have that kind of patience.

At least, I think it was him. The community was (IS!) so varied, I may have seen someone else with a similar goal...

[corvus1970]

"the growing threat of suckas"

Well done!  

[Sailboat]

This one's not especially wacky, but it is a bit humorous...The Last Minoan, my Minotaur Shield/Axe Tanker:

Everybody's heard Theseus killed me.  Well, it's like this -- Theseus was actually a pretty good guy, he would never have hurt a drinking buddy. . . but the Attic Greeks were great liars.  He offered me his shield to show him the way out of the Labyrinth, but when he got home, he had to brag a little.

Speaking of tale-tellers, that Ulysses could talk my horns off!  Drank like Dionysus, too.  Take my advice, DO NOT accept a ride home from him.

And the whole "children sacrificed to the bloodthirsty Minotaur" meme?  Field trips.  I used to show students around the maze for a few drachmas.  How did it get all blown out of proportion?  Well, the Greeks weren't the first nor the last parents to worry about their kids hanging around with a single guy who lives in his parents' basement.

The axe?  The Labrys, the symbol of Minoan kingship.  Double-bitted and made from an alloy -- LITERALLY cutting-edge Bronze Age technology!

And a potential companion for Xerxes Jones -- Sister Power!

*** cue a driving backbeat ***

Word on the street is, there's a new power in Paragon. Sister Power! A black girl with
a black belt, here to give a black eye to the bad guy! She's keeping it real, and just
a little funky, standing tall for economic and environmental justice, protecting the
interests of all her brothers and sisters, regardless of color, against a corrupt status quo.

The bad boys had better get righteous -- or she'll preach to them about the strength
of sisterhood, using her famous lead-filled platforms as, well, *platforms* to lash out against the oppressor.

The MAN is goin' DOWN! Raise your fist in unity and REPRESENT!

[JorReno]

Rambo Bright and Milktank are amazing!!!
Most original and funny heroes i've ever seen.
 

[DoctorDelaware]

You thought I was done? Not even close!

No points for guessing what his battle cry is...



Deputy Dan Has No Friends.



A little something for the ladies...



Another all-time favorite, and one that I can't believe never got flagged.

[Atlantea]

You thought I was done? Not even close!

(snip)

Deputy Dan Has No Friends.



(snip)

Awesome stuff there. Wonderfully loopy!


Deputy Dan reminds me of another one I've seen -



Safety Officer Steve's is a never-ending battle for truth, injustice, and filling out the proper risk assessment forms.

[houtex]

"Captain Dammit"

I... Love that bio.  Love it.  Awesomesauce in print. 

[hurple]

There have always been some great, goofy characters out there. Time Cube is hysterical, but it's even funnier because the person in chat doesn't know it's a real thing! (WIth a bonus reference on the same page to the Dero!)

I had some pun names, but they weren't the quality of these. Perhaps the goofiest would be the mystic spirit who spent thirty years trapped in a Beefeater bottle, Djinn Antonik.

I had some great names.  My favorite of them all was Silver Beetle.  I thought that one was good on so many levels... and then DC started having different color "Beetles" show up in the Booster Gold book... razzle frazzle grumble mutter gripe...

I also had Captain Colorblind, Magic Gus, Doctor Strangeglove, Chuckles the Barbarian (he was a Conan clown), Captain Kumquat, Kid Sidekick Boy, Doctor Defeatable, Runaway Guy (who strangely never got invited to teams...)

I need to see if I can find any of my bios... I spent hours working on some of them.

[hurple]

Oh... and how could i forget...  Doctor Hooloovoo

[Minotaur]

I also had Captain Colorblind, Magic Gus, Doctor Strangeglove, Chuckles the Barbarian (he was a Conan clown), Captain Kumquat, Kid Sidekick Boy, Doctor Defeatable, Runaway Guy (who strangely never got invited to teams...)

I remember Captain Kumquat but can't remember where from, what side/server/global did you play ?

[DoctorDelaware]

"Captain Dammit"

I... Love that bio.  Love it.  Awesomesauce in print. 

I think my favorite thing about him was the supergroup I started for him: the Dammiteers.

[hurple]

I remember Captain Kumquat but can't remember where from, what side/server/global did you play ?

Had him on several, but played him on Virtue.  Was going to eventually play him on others.. but... And, surprisingly, that name was taken on one or two of the servers.  If it wasn't a 6'0" smiley-faced guy in a goofy orange outfit with green boots and gloves, it wasn't me.

Oh, and I also had "Abe Vigoda" and "Sir Cecil Creape" (with bonus points for anyone who knows who that really is)

Anyone else ever mine the old, forgotten, now public-domain superheroes for toons?  I made "homages" to Dare-Devil, Nukla, The Black Terror, Pyroman, and Hydroman. 

Geez, I do miss this game.