I've been having this nagging suspicion, given that this show likes to do this kind of thing, that the Monitor might actually turn out to be the Anti-Monitor - maybe that Barry is vital to stopping the Crisis, so the Anti-Monitor is convincing him that he has to die to stop it, or something like that. I'm not sure how it would work, given Barry's peek into the future, but I still have that fake-Monitor suspicion.
As for Arrow, I gave up on it a season or two ago. I got tired of the melodrama - when Oliver wasn't having relationship problems with Felicity, he was having them with the rest of the team. I can only take so much soap opera.