Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)

[Tubbius]

This just in,

     The THeM has complained that there is another bidder for the CoH IP.  This other bidder, THeM says, is well financed, determined and ruthless.  Our crack research department has learned that the following are all bidders for the intellectual property of City of Heroes:

THeM
Tony Stark
Bruce Wayne
Daddy Warbucks
Professor Charles Xavier
and
Scrougue McDuck

This depends. . . does Scrooge McDuck still have his lucky dime, or has Magicka tried stealing it this episode?

[Paragon Avenger]

This depends. . . does Scrooge McDuck still have his lucky dime, or has Magicka tried stealing it this episode?

McDuck is the dark horse in this race, the one to watch is Bruce Wayne.  Inside sources know that Tony Stark is bidding through Pepper Potts and his bids have been slow, but outrageous.  The Prof is in it for the publicity.  And it is rumored that Warbucks wants CoH for Annie's birthday.  The choice was CoH or a unicorn and it looks like an unicorn might be easier to get.

[Tubbius]

McDuck is the dark horse in this race, the one to watch is Bruce Wayne.  Inside sources know that Tony Stark is bidding through Pepper Potts and his bids have been slow, but outrageous.  The Prof is in it for the publicity.  And it is rumored that Warbucks wants CoH for Annie's birthday.  The choice was CoH or a unicorn and it looks like an unicorn might be easier to get.

But McDuck is not a horse of any color.  He is a duck.

[Paragon Avenger]

But McDuck is not a horse of any color.  He is a duck.

D'oh, now you tells me.

[Paragon Avenger]

This just in,

Talks between NCSoft and the THeM have come to a stand still.  Everything seems frozen in-place.  Nobody can say for sure what brought this about, but those closest to the talks insist that it was ... The Kragle.

[Paragon Avenger]

This just in,

      With the launch deadline of several successor projects looming, NCSoft has decided to re-launch City of Heroes.  They won't give out the URL, because that's privileged.  They are afraid of corporate sabotage.  So just start entering combinations of 4 number ranging from 0 to 255 separated by a decimal or peroid.  Oh wait, correction, they are using Iv6.

[Paragon Avenger]

This just in,

It was learned today that the Crey Corporation accidently dumped tons of a toxic substance into the nations water supply.  The only harmful effect that has been noted is that the population believes that there was once a massively multi-player on-line role playing game named City of Heroes.  When the chemicals wore off, most people believe that some evil corporation shut down the game.  No long term side effects have been noted except facial hair growth in men and mammary gland enlargement in women.  A spokesman for the Crey Corporation said, "Oopsy."

[Paragon Avenger]

This just in,
The talks between the THeM and NCSoft have completely stalled.
It seems that there was a delivery of some very fine French wine, but a corkscrew cannot be located anywhere.  As the search continues, the talks have dried up.

[Paragon Avenger]

This just in,

NO, WE DO NOT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE DEAL. YES, THEY ARE UNDER AN NDA. YES, EFFORTS ARE STILL ONGOING. STOP ASKING. JUST CHAT AND WAIT. THANKS.

So, everybody just chill and trust that a ragtag group known as THeM is making progress.  Just last week, they found their way out of the Hotel's parking garage.

[Paragon Avenger]

There appears to be two kinds of posts about the no news is good news approach.
Frustated posters wondering why the gameain't going.
And frustrated posters who can't say what they know telling people for the umpteenth time to be patient.

Try to remember that business deals take time.
I realize that it isn't easy to hear, "Just wait and chat and we will all learn the fate of CoH together".
It is also not easy to try to calm people down over-and-over.

So, I have come to realize that the deal is probably just moving slowly through the various channels and hurdles that deals do.
I work in the public sector, if I told you where I would have to  ... never mind, anyway, we have been waiting about 2 years for news of consolidation of certain software products to we use on a daily basis.

So please be more patient.  If the deal is toast, I can wait to hear that.  If the deal is done, I doubt that even the THeM couldn't find a way to tell us.

[Paragon Avenger]

This just in,

City of Heroes was shut down, because it was infested with a virus.  The development team confirmed today that the game was riddled with viruses and logic bombs.  Any attempt to re-launch the game will most likely shut down the entire internet.  So it appears that it is indeed hopeless ... what?  (mumbles something to somebody off-camera.)

The viruses as it turns out or actually buffs and debuffs.

[Paragon Avenger]

This just in,

The talks between NCSoft and the THeM have hit a road-block as it were.  There is a strict no smoking policy in the Nexon building where the talks are taking place.  The THeM insist that e-cigarettes don't count as smoking.  Tony or that other guy said, "Hey, no smoke is coming out, how can it be smoking?"  An NCSoft executive responded by saying, "You put cigarette in mouth, you draw in air, you exhale.  It's smoking!"

We will keep you informed.

[JoshexProxy]

This just in,

The talks between NCSoft and the THeM have hit a road-block as it were.  There is a strict no smoking policy in the Nexon building where the talks are taking place.  The THeM insist that e-cigarettes don't count as smoking.  Tony or that other guy said, "Hey, no smoke is coming out, how can it be smoking?"  An NCSoft executive responded by saying, "You put cigarette in mouth, you draw in air, you exhale.  It's smoking!"

We will keep you informed.

then the guy at the end of the desk got an instant serving of "ding!" and a lightbulb appeared above his head. the outcome is he frantically drew out plans for a tobacco flavor and nicotine extractor that filters out tar, then drew plans for a compressor which mixes the flavor particles with air and compacts it into tiny cigarette size cylinders which can contain the same amount of flavor and nicotine as an entire carton of cigarettes with no vapor and no smoke, and added the final touch with a output pressure controller wheel and a "toke" button. he added plans for a battery controlled air warmer to be able to be attached for later release.

he then realize he'd never get the cigarette companies to buy it and that it had nothing to do with CoX, so he balled it up and threw it out.

true story, I got the plans from the waste-bin.

not really true, but it's a nice idea I think.

[Paragon Avenger]

This just in,

The talks between NCSoft and the THeM have hit a road-block as it were.  There is a strict no smoking policy in the Nexon building where the talks are taking place.  The THeM insist that e-cigarettes don't count as smoking.  Tony or that other guy said, "Hey, no smoke is coming out, how can it be smoking?"  An NCSoft executive responded by saying, "You put cigarette in mouth, you draw in air, you exhale.  It's smoking!"

We will keep you informed.

This just in,

Unable to smoke or e-smoke in the Nexon building, the THeM turned to snorting coke.  The only problem that they have reported is getting ice cubes stuck up their noses.

More as details become available.

[JoshexProxy]

This just in,

Unable to smoke or e-smoke in the Nexon building, the THeM turned to snorting coke.  The only problem that they have reported is getting ice cubes stuck up their noses.

More as details become available.

This just in, tired of having excessive deposits of C02 near their brains the THeM have continued negotiate after NCSoft suggested they try something a bit more in tune to the subject at hand, however a terrible typo in the instructions issued which initially aimed to ask all parties involved in negotiations to make their own Heroine and bring it to the meeting (minus an 'e') ended up with a visit from the local law enforcement.

No word as of yet for when the delay associated with the narcotics agents visit will be over.

[Paragon Avenger]

This just in, tired of having excessive deposits of C02 near their brains the THeM have continued negotiate after NCSoft suggested they try something a bit more in tune to the subject at hand, however a terrible typo in the instructions issued which initially aimed to ask all parties involved in negotiations to make their own Heroine and bring it to the meeting (minus an 'e') ended up with a visit from the local law enforcement.

No word as of yet for when the delay associated with the narcotics agents visit will be over.

Everybody knows that the police completely understand typos.  The THeM will be lost in their hotel by supper.

[Paragon Avenger]

This just in,

The THeM spent several weeks making posters and charts for the presentation that they were going to show NCSoft.  The posters had sparkles and 6 different color construction paper.  They used bright markers and carefully colored within the line drawings.  If it had been a 9th grade art project, they very easily would had gotten a B, maybe even a B+.  Unfortunately, it was a business presentation.  NCSoft was completely unimpressed with the whole thing and wondered out loud why a technology company didn't have a power-point.

Yeah, we can just sit back and chat and wait, the fate of the game is in good hands.

[Paragon Avenger]

This just in,

NCSoft and Nexon have gone their separate ways.  Now the only thing standing in the way of re-launching City of Heroes is a small group of pests that claim to want to buy the game, or license it from a three-party.  NCSoft has always planned to bring the game back as part of a retro promotion, but certain people had caused grief for the company.

[Paragon Avenger]

This just in,

Citry of Heroes has been re-launched and we all can play again ... no wait.
McFly!  Stop screwing with time travel.  Thi nk McFly, think.  I can't do this report with you changing the time line every few minutes, I'll get fired.  You don't want me to get fired, do you, McFly?


(In honor of Oct 21 2015, time-travel day.)

[JoshexProxy]

contrary to popular belief, all this time the THeM have not successfully entered negotiations for anything regarding CoX. When they approached NCSoft about making a deal, NCSoft told them that they need to know the real reasons why CoX was shut down in the first place, then said when Nexon sells off it's stock they will tell them.

Today NCSoft's executives finally found time to tell the THeM what the real reason is albeit by forwarding an email from the Nexon executives that was to be released if pressed for information about the shutdown. the email is as found below, please take care to watch the quotation marks.

"H41 6v135!

1 PW4N3D = J00 411



teacups."