Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)

[Goddangit]

NCSoft Executive after reading the previous post: You fools, you tried to trick us.  No sale.

No soup for you!

[Paragon Avenger]

This just in...
One of the lead negotiating team said, "I love you" out of the blue.
This infuriated the NCSoft executives, who wanted to say it first.
Both sides started shouting compliments at each other, causing City of Heroes to be sold out right.  Go to http:\www.fooledyou.com\ to play.

[Floride]

In a bold move, Game developer Rockstar Games has announced it has invested in a 3rd party IP venture concerning it's GTA franchise, and has plans to release Grand Theft Auto: Paragon City in late spring 2015.

[Paragon Avenger]

In a bold move, Game developer Rockstar Games has announced it has invested in a 3rd party IP venture concerning it's GTA franchise, and has plans to release Grand Theft Auto: Paragon City in late spring 2015.

Further information has come to light.
You can play either the car thief / car jacker or the superhero trying to stop the thieves.
No version has been announced for City of Villains, but Lord Recluse was quotedas ssaying that there had better not be.

[Paragon Avenger]

This just in:
NCSoft announced today that it will sunset City of Heroes by the end of November 2012.

Hey, our wire machine has been down for a while.

[Floride]

In tech news, the now defunct video game City of Heroes and it's intellectual property rights closed at auction last night on eBay for a mere $10. NCSoft listed the game in the hopes of pitting fans of the game against one another, and expected the bidding to rise to at least $8,000,000. In a press release the winning bidder, TonyV69, stated "We are heroes, this is what we do. I'm going to relaunch the game by the end of next year."
Although the game and it's IP are accurately described in the description, many would-be investors never knew the game was for sale due to NCSoft posting the listing from a cell phone with auto-correct, and accidentally titling the auction as "City of Herpes".

[ParagonLurker]

In tech news, the now defunct video game City of Heroes and it's intellectual property rights closed at auction last night on eBay for a mere $10. NCSoft listed the game in the hopes of pitting fans of the game against one another, and expected the bidding to rise to at least $8,000,000. In a press release the winning bidder, TonyV69, stated "We are heroes, this is what we do. I'm going to relaunch the game by the end of next year."
Although the game and it's IP are accurately described in the description, many would-be investors never knew the game was for sale due to NCSoft posting the listing from a cell phone with auto-correct, and accidentally titling the auction as "City of Herpes".

Yay!  The game is back!
Boo, to cell phone auto-correct.

[Paragon Avenger]

If it weren't for cell phone auto-correct, my "Where Have All The Heroes Gone?" series of fan fiction would have been much worse.
Yep, my phone is a better writer than I am.
It's part of the plan I have.

[Paragon Avenger]

This just in ...
Sources close to the NCSoft team disclosed that the reason NCSoft has taken so long to return with a decision regarding the submission of developer viability is simple.  The submission was in the found of a lockbox.  The NCSoft team has been grinding their games trying to earn enough "currency" to purchase the key.  Another reason why lockboxes might not be ideal.

[KennonGL]

This just in . . .

As it turns out, the deal to sell CoH was finalized several months ago.

The new management team has just been keeping things quiet until the
new servers were ready to go.

CoH will be going live again tomorrow!

[Paragon Avenger]

This just in . . .

As it turns out, the deal to sell CoH was finalized several months ago.

The new management team has just been keeping things quiet until the
new servers were ready to go.

CoH will be going live again tomorrow!

Yay!

[Ironwolf]

In Light of the current Political unrest in NA, every time you resurrect at a Hospital you will receive debuffs that last 24 hours - depending on how good your insurance is, the penalties will be lighter and last shorter.

This way we can appeas the Teabaggers

Was it necessary to insult someone? Before you do how about you actually talk to one of them?

I know several folks here who are Tea Party members and we don't appreciate the sexual connotations of the "teabagger" reference.

[Paragon Avenger]

This just in ...
Everyone involved with trying to purchase the intellectual property know as City of Heroes, was abducted and replaced by exact duplicate robots.  Paranoid sources have confirmed that the robots primary mission is to enslave the human race.  Their secondary goal is to bring back CoH.  Here's hoping that at least one of their missions is successful.

[Floride]

This just in... Bungie has announced the forthcoming installment of it's flagship franchise to be titled Halo: The Rikti Wars. Master Chief's true identity will also be revealed as obscure supersoldier Hero One. More as the story develops....

[Eoraptor]

In recent news, NCSoft has sold its former flagship superhero MMO "City of Heroes" to Apple corporation (APL) the game will be launched on the itunes store for  minimum $25.00 subscription, alongside additional in-game purchases, with APL commanding 99.3% of gross revenues, with the other .6% being shared amongst all licensees of the game. It will also require a properly licensed and secured Apple product for play, with minimum system requirements of osX 10.17 or iOS 7.0 or higher.

Further news on this story as it evolves.

[Paragon Avenger]

Announced today, PepsiCo, the corporate owners of Frito-Lay, Inc. will acquire a controlling interest in NCSoft.
A company spokesperson, Melody Hayes said, "In order to realize the synergestic realignment of marketplace factors that constitute our core target, we have diversified into the online multiple player paradign.  This will inable the brands most sought after to compete in a global real-time environ."
We are not completely sure what all that means, but we're getting the game back!  We're getting the game back!!  WE'RE GETTING THE GAME BACK!!!

[Pengy]

I think it just means that Fritos will taste like Aurin from now on.

[Paragon Avenger]

More developments on the Frito-Lay take-over of NCSoft.
Today, PepsiCo announced that there will be changes to all the NCSoft games currently offered.  And the CoX game will be offered again.
Some of the changes ...
The Statesman Task Force will now be the Chester Cheetah Task Force.
Outdoor advertising in the game will be for Frito-Lay & Pepsi products, with out a way to shut them off.
NPC's in game will be doing the "eat" emote, but instead of donut they will eat from Lays chips bags.
Most glowies in the game will look like giant bags of Doritos.
New villain groups will be added to all games, like The Pringle's Gang and The Coke Fiends.
Kracken and Jack in Irons will both accuse passers by of stealing their snack chips or pepsi cola.
Inside specially marked bags of Tositos, there will be "easter egg" hints and tricks.
Sending in 100 proof of purchase from Fritos, will grant you a free character slot.
Bags of Rold Gold pretzels will be sent to anyone spending $500 or more at the in-game store.
Subscribers of the game will receive each month, a coupon good for 20% off any Frito-Lay or PepsiCo product.

[Tubbius]

Sending in 100 proof of purchase from Fritos, will grant you a free character slot.

Don't do this to me.  I'd be 500 pounds in short order, and I am one skinny dude right now. 

[Sugoi]

Mmmmmm!!! Kraken Jack!  One of my favorite treats when I was a youngster.  And let's not forget the surprise item that you get after taking him down!  (Cracker Jack has been owned by Frito-Lay since 1997.)