I saw the movie opening Friday, and again last week, and I think it may be the best superhero movie I've ever seen. It's at least right up there with the Avengers, Winter Soldier, and GotG. Absolutely awesome.
I pretty much agree with Arcana on all points about the movie. 9.5 seems accurate.
Regarding the Howard Stark assassination video, I figured they didn't want to just show the low quality 1991 VHS security footage, so they intercut the parts where you are actually there in 1991 at the car crash. Tony doesn't actually see from every angle at the car crash(He may add that with his imagination).
Also, I think Tony specifically picked Spider-man for not only the science, trust, and mentor reasons, but because his powers, specifically high agility, spider-sense, and webbing are perfect to keep him out of harms way, and incapacitate(not harm) his foes. Tony was probably too proud to go to Tom Waits for some non-lethal weapons.
The reason Cap called in Ant-man, Hawkeye, and Scarlet Witch was because they were going to Siberia to fight a bunch of "psycho-assassins" that were supposed to be worse than Bucky, not to fight Team Iron-man.
Tony brought backup to make the sides so lopsided that Cap would surrender without a fight. Failing that, Spider-man would web up Team Cap. He did not count on Cap having more help.