Author Topic: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates) (Read 224556 times)

Blackgrue · « **Reply #220 on:** January 25, 2015, 03:19:34 PM »

This just in, Gang War cooldown reduced to 10 seconds allowing all thugs masterminds to have multiple gang-wars going on at once.

This has delayed negotiations as the test server went nuclear.

Paragon Avenger · « **Reply #221 on:** January 28, 2015, 06:43:43 AM »

This just in,

Scrapper and other meleers Moment of Glory is now a toggle power.
Of course, this makes the Paragon Protectors of Crey very nasty.

Blackgrue · « **Reply #222 on:** January 29, 2015, 05:25:45 PM »

This just in,

A meteor made of solid emerald just struck NCSoft headquarters. A booming voice from above was heard saying "MAYBE A SHINY PEBBLE WILL MAKE NEGOTIATIONS GO FASTER."

Eoraptor · « **Reply #223 on:** January 29, 2015, 06:07:05 PM »

Breaking news, THeM have reported that, after handling the subscriber numbers from City of Heroes, they seem to have been suspiciously deflated. The media has termed the scandal Deflategate, and is certain NCSoft reduced user pressure to make handling the closing easier in slippery tearstained conditions

Paragon Avenger · « **Reply #224 on:** January 30, 2015, 05:31:12 AM »

As it turns out, the way NCSoft was counting users was the number of player characters who have completed the entire game story arc. Including the Imperious arc and all the incarnate trials. With so many players farming AE, the game story arc was virtually ignored, and therefore deflating the numbers.

Paragon Avenger · « **Reply #225 on:** February 01, 2015, 05:24:26 AM »

Quote from: johng736@gmail.com on December 02, 2014, 03:03:35 AM

This just in ...
Sources close to the NCSoft team disclosed that the reason NCSoft has taken so long to return with a decision regarding the submission of developer viability is simple. The submission was in the form of a lockbox.

Ok, who here hates lockboxes?

Sugoi · « **Reply #226 on:** February 01, 2015, 09:19:09 PM »

Quote from: johng736@gmail.com on February 01, 2015, 05:24:26 AM

Ok, who here hates lockboxes?

Who doesn't?

Paragon Avenger · « **Reply #227 on:** February 03, 2015, 05:08:39 AM »

This just in,

NCSoft announced that it has sold the intellectual property, (IP), and source code to an undisclosed party that plans to bring the game back on-line. The identity of the buyer is still unknown. The THeM has been quoted as saying, "Waaaaaaaa!"

microc · « **Reply #228 on:** February 03, 2015, 11:26:30 PM »

whdh the local Boston news channel came on today and ask if anyone had cold/weather powers to please togel them off they had all the snow they can handle in mass.

Paragon Avenger · « **Reply #229 on:** February 04, 2015, 01:11:41 AM »

Quote from: microc on February 03, 2015, 11:26:30 PM

whdh the local Boston news channel came on today and ask if anyone had cold/weather powers to please togel them off they had all the snow they can handle in mass.

/t boston, the winter event is over

Paragon Avenger · « **Reply #230 on:** February 05, 2015, 07:07:26 AM »

Missing Worlds Media today has annouced that their new game, dubbed City of Heroes 2 by basis media, will include teddy bear powers. Teddy bears will play a major part in the game and it's lore. When asked for comment, that Tony guy or who ever that was, said that the teddy bears will add a certain something to the game that is sorely lacking in other on-line games.

Paragon Avenger · « **Reply #231 on:** February 06, 2015, 03:26:29 AM »

This just in,
Atlas Revival dubbed City of Heroes II by basis media has announced that they will include a teddy bear powerset for all ranged and melee archetypes. When asked for clarification, the company commented by sending us a teddy gram.

Paragon Avenger · « **Reply #232 on:** February 07, 2015, 04:06:30 AM »

This just in,
Valiance Online has announced today that their sequel to City of Heroes, called City of Heroes: The Sequel by basis media, will have entire villain group based on stuffed toy animals especially teddy bears. When asked for comment, somebody said, "Go stuff yourself".
"How rude."

Paragon Avenger · « **Reply #233 on:** February 08, 2015, 02:56:01 AM »

This just in,
The soon to be released MMORPG, "Heroes and Villains", has announced today that all of the heroes and most of the villains in their game, called City of Heroes: And Villains by basis medis, will be teddy bears.
When asked why they would do such a thing, and spokesperson responded with, "Why not?"

Paragon Avenger · « **Reply #234 on:** February 12, 2015, 03:37:31 AM »

Did I come all the efforts to replace City of Heroes with teddy bears?
If I missed one, yeah they're going to have teddy bears in their game too.

Paragon Avenger · « **Reply #235 on:** February 13, 2015, 04:30:31 AM »

This just in,
Due to cultural differences, the THeM and NCSoft have finally decided after months of talks that they will go to Five Guys for lunch.
Members of THeM pronounce it Fuy Guy, which infuriates NCSoft, because they call the place Six Men.

Paragon Avenger · « **Reply #236 on:** February 14, 2015, 04:41:33 AM »

The president and CEO of the Five Guys Restuarant Chain would like to make the following announcement:

Look, it ain't Six Men, ok. It's Five Guys. We sell Hamburgers and Hot Dogs and French Fries and Milkshakes. So stop calling us Fi Guys. We ain't Four Boys. We ain't Seven Dudes. It's Five Guys.
Now back to your silly little fake news.

Thanks for those heart felt remarks.

Paragon Avenger · « **Reply #237 on:** February 14, 2015, 06:06:27 PM »

This just in,

Everyone on the THeM showed up to a meeting wearing fairy princess costumes.
The NCSoft executives couldn't stop laughing.
It turns out that through miscommunication, the THeM thought that there was a costume contest with the theme 'Best Fairy Princess'. It is unclear how this might affect negoiations due to the fact that the NCSoft executives still laugh everytime the subject is mentioned.

More later.

Joshex · « **Reply #238 on:** February 14, 2015, 11:12:39 PM »

This just in, CoX was shut down because an Alien company from the Xvlaar galaxy had taken a patent out on a very similar concept to the IP 4 million years ago and sued through galatic federation court when they realized we had copied them.

I mean, just what are the chances?

Paragon Avenger · « **Reply #239 on:** February 16, 2015, 04:14:54 AM »

Quote from: johng736@gmail.com on February 14, 2015, 06:06:27 PM

This just in,

Everyone on the THeM showed up to a meeting wearing fairy princess costumes.
The NCSoft executives couldn't stop laughing.
It turns out that through miscommunication, the THeM thought that there was a costume contest with the theme 'Best Fairy Princess'. It is unclear how this might affect negoiations due to the fact that the NCSoft executives still laugh everytime the subject is mentioned.

More later.

It turns out that the miscommunication might have been sourced to a Nexion Executive.
The communication said that the winner of this contest would need a fairy princess to get the IP, or something like that, my Korean isn't very good.

News:

Author Topic: Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates) (Read 224556 times)