Completely fake CoH news (for fun while we wait for real updates)

[Eoraptor]

Further news on the Frito Lay buyout, The company plans to hold themed events in-game, such as the "Rrrrrruffles have Rrrrrrridges Run through the Hollows," "Doritos Cool Ranch Ski Slope," and "Fritos Chilli Cheese Zomibe Slay" with the tagline "that's not decaying flesh you smell."

[Paragon Avenger]

  (Cracker Jack has been owned by Frito-Lay since 1997.)

I did not know that.
Why wasn't I informed?

[Paragon Avenger]

We have obtained secret plans from unnamed sources about the impending take-over of NCSoft by Frito-Lay / PepsiCo.

The Paetorian drink will be changed to Pepsi.
Pocket D and Studio 55 will serve Pepsi and Frito-Lay brands exclusively.
Green inspirations will have the Pepsi logo on them.
Blue inspirations will have the Lays logo on them.
Wentworth's will be rebranded The Frito Bandito.
Pepsi Execs will hold CC and Bio contests for the best corporate looking toons.
The prizes will be similar to Frito-Lay sweepstakes.
All costumes must have red, white and blue elememnts.
The water powerset will be changed to the cola powerset.
And clipping errors will now be called chipping errors.

[Sugoi]

I'd really prefer that the Dr. Pepper Snapple Group really take over NCSoft rather than Pepsico, because:

1) The initials of the group are DPS (need I say more?)

2) I've always considered Dr. Pepper to be the ultimate Empath.

3) With a name like Snapple, she's got to be a Stalker.

[Remaugen]

We have obtained secret plans from unnamed sources about the impending take-over of NCSoft by Frito-Lay / PepsiCo.

The Paetorian drink will be changed to Pepsi.
Pocket D and Studio 55 will serve Pepsi and Frito-Lay brands exclusively.
Green inspirations will have the Pepsi logo on them.
Blue inspirations will have the Lays logo on them.
Wentworth's will be rebranded The Frito Bandito.
Pepsi Execs will hold CC and Bio contests for the best corporate looking toons.
The prizes will be similar to Frito-Lay sweepstakes.
All costumes must have red, white and blue elememnts.
The water powerset will be changed to the cola powerset.
And clipping errors will now be called chipping errors.

Will all restaurants be Yum Brand affiliates? (Yum Brands Inc was originally created to buy up and combine chains restaurants to sell Pepsi Products. Part of their spin-off included a lifetime commitment to PepsiCo. The only exception is A&W Root Beer which is owned by Dr Pepper/Snapple.)

[Paragon Avenger]

To answer your question, all the details haven't been announced.
It seems, however, that CoX and other NCSoft games will be marketing platforms.

The question is how much marketing can you take before the game becomes unplayable.

[Remaugen]

The question is how much marketing can you take before the game becomes unplayable.

As an aside to answer the question, I would be fine with passive in-game advertising, billboards and painted panel trucks, named restaurants ect, if it meant supporting the game. What I would not accept would be cut scene commercials, that could end up costing me a monitor and a mouse as they violently meet each other in my protest.

[Joshex]

Dear Titan, a pressing update! I wont delay as it's information that no one here wants to wait any longer for than necessary. with that said I'll get straight to the point.

I just received word that against all odds;

SEGS has finished their CoH Emulator, infact they went overboard and it's now capable of i21 content.

Also

NCSoft has issued a statement saying they have agreed to terms for the sale of the game completely and totally to nate and crew, even with the chance of newly developed content! NCSoft even put forward the suggestion of hiring the old dev team!




































incase you didn;t guess this post is completely fake as the thread title says, but I know alot of us have been wanting to read this for some time so.. yeah.. hopefully it'll be true to some extent in the future.

[Floride]

This just in... comedian Stephen Colbert has purchased  the IP of an undisclosed video game. The game reportedly rewards players with "influence" and "infamy", and players are encouraged to run for higher and higher offices, becoming more powerful and able to devastate opponents in missions known as Primaries.
Players will be encourage to use an alignment system which will include Republican, Bi-Partisan, Democrat, and Fringe. The object of the game is to confuse and patronize constituents with vagueties while secretly serving a Superpacgroup with Prestige.

It will be the world's first politically based MMO. It will center around 2 capitols known as Colbert Park and the Stewart Isles, and will reportedly use a pay-to-win platform.

[PesdjetVanguard]

At 4:30pm CDT today an NCSoft insider leaked a sneak peak at the resurrection of their City of Heroes title, previously dropped in August of 2012. Details of the Licensing deal are still unknown. City of Heroes die-hard fans have been working tirelessly to revive the popular MMORPG and it seems as though their work has paid off.

C:\COH\build7387\bin>COH
Enter 'start'to begin login
start
Enter username
@lice
Enter password
%%%%%%%%
You are entering Atlas Park
This zone is at 45% capacity, dusk eta 00:01:45, 99% of players have activated emotes
go east
There are 3 Hellions tugging on a woman's purse - Minion1, Minion2, Lt1
kill minion 1
Congratulations, Minion1 is defeated, you now have health inspiration
kill minion 2
Congratulations, Minion2 is defeated.
kill lt1
Congratulations, Lt1 is defeated. You are now Level 2
go east
There are 3 Hellions Lounging above on a ledge, Minion1, Minion2, Lt1

[Paragon Avenger]

C:\COH\build7387\bin>COH
Enter 'start'to begin login
start
Enter username
@lice
Enter password
%%%%%%%%
You are entering Atlas Park
This zone is at 45% capacity, dusk eta 00:01:45, 99% of players have activated emotes
go east
There are 3 Hellions tugging on a woman's purse - Minion1, Minion2, Lt1
kill minion 1
Congratulations, Minion1 is defeated, you now have health inspiration
kill minion 2
Congratulations, Minion2 is defeated.
kill lt1
Congratulations, Lt1 is defeated. You are now Level 2
go east
There are 3 Hellions Lounging above on a ledge, Minion1, Minion2, Lt1

At this point, I might even play that.

[LaughingAlex]

Actually I was calling scarlet blade the worst game of all time, as in worst mmorpg of all time.

If you really want worst game of all time, you can do better than ET.  Just ask the angry video game nerd, the guy runs into far worst pretty frequently.  ET was poorly made coded and whatnot, but it was simple.  The real mistake was the publisher far, far over invested making to many cartridges of the game when it was rather sub-par and that crashed the industry.

But there are worst games than ET.  I think I remember seeing action 52 being especially bad as the games weren't even remotely playable on it and the thing costed 300 dollars to buy.  The AVGN had a ball with that one.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4QBeADNM34

The worst game I ever played?  Probably Deus Ex: Invisible war, broken in so many ways.  CO comes a close second.

So in other news: CoH was bought by Perfect World Entertainment.  Expect forced DLC content, even SO enhancements will cost real money and every small costume change will require a minimum 5$ to purchase.  Free players will be trapped to melee-less blasters without build up and aim, or attackless empaths, or attackless tankers who only have taunt only.  All in the name of "Well super heroes only ever did one thing in their team...".  Also expect overpowered items to be released in lockboxes to be nerfed later for the next wave of lockboxes which will be as overpowered as the items before....only to also be nerfed!  Expect the pattern to repeat!

Decided to Add to this....

Also expect any idea you give PWE to improve the game to require huge sums of money and be twisted so its not only far overpowered beyond what you wanted but also expect them to roll back any changes you suggested to extremely underpowered as per a jerks demands who seemingly personally hates your guys and hates anyone who plays differently than him!  Also expect the devs in general to continue baiting and switching on you and taking any ideas you do give them and twisting them into intollerable bait and switch ideas! 

(If your wondering, I was reflecting today and looked back to the post I made about improving vehicles, and how I realised they twisted that idea into a bait and switch against my intentions in this thread http://co-forum.perfectworld.com/showthread.php?t=265781 made just before the vehicle 2.0 came out, and then course the removal of plasma sheer and the making it useless problem as well as nerfing AA missiles BACK to useless as they were before a few months ago, yeah.  I felt like I'd made an awesome invention made for peace that was twisted and turned to malicious purposes).

[ParagonLurker]

This just in,
Steve or Mike or Joe, whatever that guy's name is, said today that the deal is complete the ink is dry and papers have been filed, it's officail.  NCSoft will talk with a team about the possibility of selling the game or license to the intellectual property as long as certain protocols are met.
1.  Nobody can say nothing bad about NCSoft on any public media or forum.
2.  The team must provide proof that they can manage such a large scale game.
3.  The team must provide proof that they have the intrastructure to run the game and the accounts and such.
4.  The team must provide proof that they can maintain the game as future hardware and interfaces become available.
5.  The team must provide proof that they can respond to discovered bugs and / or other problems in the code.
6.  The team must provide proof that they can enhance the game as neccessary to entice new players and keep the fan base interested.
7.  Nobody can say anything bad about NCSoft, ever.

[Eoraptor]

This just in, Hollywood has canceled the sale of NCSoft and all related properties due to unspecified and unsubstantiated demands made on the internet.

[Floride]

Late last night the GOP leaked even more private Sony emails revealing Sony Entertainment America is in talks with South Korean game developer NCSoft regarding a previously unannounced spring blockbuster release based on yet another comic book, City of Heroes. More as the story develops....

[Paragon Avenger]

Late breaking news ...

Somebody went back in time and stopped City of Heroes from ever being made!
Then somebody else went back in time and foiled the plans of the first time traveler.
Then somebody else went back in time and destroyed the factory where the time machines will have been created in the past's future.
So, basically, nothing happened already.

Less as this story folds up.

[Eoraptor]

Late breaking news ...

Somebody went back in time and stopped City of Heroes from ever being made!
Then somebody else went back in time and foiled the plans of the first time traveler.
Then somebody else went back in time and destroyed the factory where the time machines will have been created in the past's future.
So, basically, nothing happened already.

Less as this story folds up.

time travel; it's a cornucopia of disturbing concepts

[Paragon Avenger]

Eccentric billionaire Donald Trump announced today that he will buy Paragon Studios and the IP to City of Heroes and other games they were working on.
He is planning to create a Real Estate MMO in which players buy and sell property using real money ... oh never mind.

[Paragon Avenger]

According to an unnamed source,
There is no City of Heroes and there never was.

[Paragon Avenger]

From a wacked-out informat who probably is on illegal drugs and smells like celery,

The NCSoft team has examined the proof of game viability from the THeM, and has found it satisfactory.
NCSoft was prepared to deliver the game image to the THeM, but as it turns out, a careless technicain spilled wasabi sauce on the DVD's and it ate right through them.  Then it asked for seconds.
That wasabi sauce is potent.
So the NCSoft team will be planning another delaying tactic until another copy can be found or at least faked good.